All of the estimated $ 300 million spent, all the hype and publicity and the anticipation -It all boils down to the 2hours 40 minutes spent in the dark IMAX auditorium with my 3D spectacles on. And James Cameron shows why (as he quite rightly shouted out loud in his Oscar winning speech) he is indeed the King of the World. I cannot think of any other movie which created so much buzz and excitement around it. And does it live up to all of it. It so well does. Avatar is a revolutionary piece of cinema. But apart from the technological breakthrough in its imagery, the story telling by Master Cameron and its smart comparison with contemporary geo-political situations is what makes Avatar one of the best Blockbusting, Mind-Blowing, Heart-Wrenching and Eye-Popping spectaculars.

I watched Avatar on Saturday morning with a packed audience in BFI IMAX in true 3D glory. And it was exactly how the filmmaker intended it to be savoured as. And as Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) narrates his story, we get sucked in by the heights and depths of Pandora. The space-floating scene is exceptionally well shot, and it made me feel weightless. Now I can talk and keep on talking about how awesome this movie was. But to begin with, let me tell you that there are some bloody cynical and miserable people in this world, who were wowed by the visuals of the movie [I am talking about that reviewer Larushka Ivan-Zandeh in Friday's Metro paper: ]. But the story failed to impress her and she simply sums it to be an age-old “Save The Rainforest” tale. So to reply to her, Larushka darling, it might be age-old tale for you, but there is no bigger contemporary problem facing we the citizens of earth than the global condition. Just look around and see how the global leaders at Copenhagen have finally reached at a “conclusion” by merely postponing events for next year. Avatar beautifully depicts the relation between the natural life cycle and how its disruption could be fatal for the entire population. And when you say that it is a “Save A Rainforest” tale, you actually make yourself sound like the corporate asshole Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) who thinks it is just a mere tree out of the 12th power of 10 species in Pandora. Of course, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. But yours, just plain sucks.

Moving on, I must say that Mr JC has indeed done the best job by waiting for the technology to catch up to suit his vision.The wait has been worth it, and the flora and fauna surrounding Pandora; each leaf of a new species and each growl of a new creature is awe-inspring. We travel across Pandora with the same fascination in our eyes as Jake Sully’s and Neytiri’s command and strong character makes us forget the fact that it is all motion-capture. And if the Na’vi do not fail to impress us, the humans are not far behind. Sigourney Weaver as Dr.Grace is spot on, and as mentioned previously, Parker Selfridge exudes corporate hunger for profit. As for heavily scarred Colonel Miles( Stephen Lang), he is a caricature model built around GW Bush (IMO) who believes in “dealing terror with terror”. To envelope all of this awesomeness in one big awesome package and deal with the geo-political issues in a sci-fi drama with a cinematic vision never seen before deserves everything -ABSO-EFFIN-LUTELY EVERYTHING.All the Oscars, the Golden Globes and even the Filmfare

James Horner’s score for the movie was spell binding and it captures the ambience, the beauty and also the dangerous wild side of Pandora. As for Maestro James Cameron, the man’s still got it. The action sequence is a complete How-To document on shooting a huge-ass action choreography, on celluloid. The man shows off his experience and why he remains not only the master of Action – True Lies, Aliens and Terminator, but also the Master in the art of story telling. *Bows to JC*

And yes, unlike some people who believe it is not a classic, I definitely believe otherwise. It is a game changer. Just like the first time we saw the T-Rex on the big screen, or Darth Vader use the Force, or Gimli and Legolas fight Orks, Avatar will be counted as one of the most revolutionary movies of our times. Few years on from now, we’ll remember Christmas 2009 to be the time when Avatar changed the face of cinema.
If you haven’t seen it yet, go and watch it, and make sure you watch it in 3D. You can thank me later.And now I can proudly declare myself as the member of the Avatar Fan Clan. I’ll leave you with some Bloody Awesome image captures from the Trailer. Hail Avatar! Hail Cameron!!

**SCREENSHOTS -VISUAL Nom Noms**

Big Ass War Machine

Na'vi Rebellion

Marines in Pandora

Na'vi Strikes

Corporate Dumbos

Neytiri Shoots

Marines assemble

Glowing Love in Pandora

Neytiri

Na'vi Rise

Jake Sully becomes the Avatar

Me at BFI Imax

HD-licious is a new section to spread the HD Love. Of late, I have collected quite a lot of HD resources which I want to share with everyone. This section will have a lot of visual show-off of the High Definition kind.

And what better way to start this new section with Avatar; James Cameron’s Magnum Opus, releasing this December. Oh yes, click the images to get to the Full HD screencaps. Obviously, I could not include the High-Definition screens directly on here. Just feast your eyes darling, at the H-Delicious Nom Noms.

**** HD Screenshots of Avatar ****

**** Lots more HD Screenshots of Avatar after the Jump ****

Jake wakes up!

Green Na’vi

Na’vi tail..or is that a…????

Jake Happy for transplant..and to get the tattoo

Jake gets wired up

Wakes up once

Wakes up twice..in blue

Jake likes the body blue tattoo

Enter Na’vi..the forest edition

Do NOT piss the locals

Do NOT mess with the monsters

Serena Williams is a global fashion icon..in Na’vi

Glow worms of the Future..err..Na’vi Land

Is there a Sigourney inside you?

Reminds me of ID4

Sunny Deol calling!

Return of the Scream!

Oh GI Joe…oh wrong movie

Fight in the Skies

Told ya..Falling in Love..is hard on the knees

And the Locals are waking up

C’mon Baby Light my Fire!

Love will conquer all

Do NOT forget the Date of release. See you there!!

Watching The Half Blood Prince made me realise a lot of things. One of them was that how an almost 3 hour movie with wizardry, dark-lords, death, and zombies could be turned into a 2.5 hours soap-opera. I mean, give me a break from the Love potioned Ron Weasley, or the Harry-Hermione emotional atyachar! I paid friggin 11 quid for this seat. Now just blast my eyes with some fireworks already! And yes, when you choose certain scenes for 3D over others, please try and select the ones which could be termed ‘sexy’ rather than plain-ol conversations in the hallway, or a lounge chair morphing into Mr.Jim Broadbent. #fail #fail #fail.

But yes, one of the other things which has emerged from the many discussions I have been having with my friends [especially that David bloke], is that how similar Voldemort – the ultimate dark lord, and the ultimate dark-Ninja we know of – Orochimaru are. So here I am, doing my analysis of their similarities and the differences as well. Whether, Harry Potter inspired Naruto [as in JK Rowling inspired Kishimoto] is a very sensitive debate which is out of the scope of this argument. We will be restricting our analysis to whether Voldemort and Orochimaru are indeed similar or not. Part 2 of the Analysis will be trying to answer a Kick-Ass question, literally – In a duel, who will kick who’s butt [and who will eat the dust] -Voldemort or Orochimaru. Pick your side!

First things first. The analysis chart with the Comparison Parameters. Here it is – the Curious Case of Voldemort vs. Orochimaru.

Separated at Birth? Or the same man?

Now for the big battle between the two. WHO WILL KICK WHO’s ARSE?

a) Why will Voldemort Pwn Orochimaru?

~ He’s got Avada Kedavra – the Death Spell.

~ He can kinda dodge Orochimaru’s attacks with his teleportation wizardry.

~ His soul is split into 7 horcruxes. So he can’t die until those are destroyed, one of which is *ahem* [ deleted to avoid spoilers ]. So to kill Voldemort, you have to destroy that too. Too much to ask for.

~ Orochimaru’s snakes can be controlled by Voldemort as he knows how to speak to them in Parseltongue.

~ Can Orochimaru withstand any Wizardry spell, even a basic one like – Petrificus Totalus

~ If Sasuke can pwn Orochimaru, Voldemort can surely do it too….. or can he?

b) Why will Orochimaru totally pwn Voldemort?

~ The ridiculously huge snake Manda can totally consume everything that Voldemort has – him, his Death Eaters and everything.

~ Sasuke did not defeat him. He was just a bit sick when Sasuke got the better of him. But Orochimaru cannot die. So Avada Kedavra might not be relevant in this battle.

~ Any other spell of Voldemort can be easily dodged by a Ninja of the level of Orochimaru.

~ Manda cannot understand Voldemort speaking to it in Parseltongue, coz it speaks only Japanese.

~ Orochimaru can disarm Voldemort but not the other way around! Huaaahahahaha.

~ Someone mentioned – Oro could kill Voldemort with a Kunai or a neck-bite, and then making him his new vessel. How evil will that be!!

~ Ninja Powers rock. There are way too many jutsus that Orochimaru knows, and most of them are the dark ones. And he has experimented them on himself, and his army of followers – not just a bunch of losers known as the Death Eaters.

So…you guys decide who wins the Battle of the Darklords. Me deciding Orochimaru would be unfair as I am a Naruto Devotee more than a Harry Potter fan. And then, both of them belong to different universes – one from the world of wizardry and the other from Ninjas. Wizard Spell vs. Ninja Jutsus is quite an unpredictable situation and could swing in any direction. Because Magic is Magic, and Jutsus are well…Jutsus. What you say? Shout out loud in the comments section

After much anticipation, Is the new Star Trek movie actually any good?

YOU BET YOUR ARSE IT IS! My main reservation was whether or not I could buy Zachary Quinto’s portrayalof Spock and not just see a brooding Sylar. I’m happy to report after a few moments into the film all such thoughts vanished from my mind. In fact, I think it was a masterstroke in casting. To be honest the whole reimagining of the franchise was a breath of fresh air. Here’s a quick account of the Characters :-

Spock – Undoubtedly Spock stole the show. This must have been a very welcome diversion for Quinto in allowing him to showcase his acting ability in a vessel other than Sylar. Great emphasis was placed on Spock’s struggle to accept his maternal human half. In fact the plot hangs on it! The portrayal of this icon of the Sci-Fi world feels like it has been handled with the reverence it deserves.

Kirk – The carousing womaniser comes to the fore here in Chris Pines performance. Even though Kirk is one of the main leads it felt to me as though he was somewhat carried along with the sequence of events rather than dynamically leading it. I loved the kobayashi maru scene! It was a real treat to actually see what happened.

Bones – I was so taken aback with Bone’s first appearance on the shuttlecraft that it made me realise just how strong a performance Deforest Kelly originally made in this character. To say that Karl Urban nailed Bones is an massive understatement. You just can’t help liking the irascible doctor. “I haven’t seen a reaction like this since I was in med school!”

Uhura – Zoe Saldana brought equal measures of Class and Glamour to the role, but it’s such a glaring shame that the depiction is pretty much the customary Hollywood piece of skirt for the guys to fight over. In fact the three other major female depictions were also rather shameful stereotypes, being Mother, Wife and Girlfriend. I expected more.

Scotty – Although I really quite like Simon Pegg I was worried about this casting as he just doesn’t have the same feel to him as Jimmy Doohan did originally. He came across a little too whimsical for my liking, and what the hell was that little creature friend of his?? Pegg’s Scotty seem to have been shoe-horned in as the comic relief which is a shame (and I have to say – Canadian born Doohan did a much better Scottish accent than Pegg!).

Chekov – Lets all laugh at his funny accent. Anton Yelchin played the part with aplomb. I liked the way he made the ship-wide broadcast without flinching, giving it an air of ‘meh, it’s what I do’. It would be nice to see a little more of him in terms of character development in the next movie.

Sulu – The charismatic John Cho was every bit as dashing as George Takei. Leaping into action at an instant. The gaff with disengaging the inertia breaks brought a mild vulnerability to Sulu that was endearing. I’d Like to see a lot more of Cho’s Sulu.

The Romulan villains of the piece didn’t look very Romulan, at first I thought this was a nod to the original series Romulans who were just painted reddish with a moustache slapped on, but then I remembered that these are Future Romulans. Maybe they don’t talk about it to outsiders either

Other notes to point out was the excellent use of lighting in the film, with lots of lights pointing straight at the camera lens for flare. Also the score was really quite good, there was a particular scene where a battle is being waged in space which is normally accompanied by phaser fire, blasts and explosions sound effects etc (conveniently forgetting about vacuums and sound…) however at this point the sound dies out somewhat and is replaced by a piece of classical music. The effect is rather beautiful and very ‘Adult’ in comparison to the former, without being pretentious or cloying.

If you can please please please watch it in Imax, it truly is an awesome experience. Star Trek + Imax = one very good day indeed )

J.J. Abrams really does seem to have melded (haha – actually you do know that there no such word… it’s just slipped into common parlance as an amalgamation of the words Melt and Weld, I digress…) a film for the avid fans and the general movie going public into one cohesive tasty wholesome sci-fi flavoured package.

Quite simply I think Gene Roddenberry would have very been proud indeed.

Let’s put a smile on that face!

I had plans of writing a post on the anime feature: Gotham Knight before I wrote this review, but the last two days were spent in anticipation over the wait for the Dark Knight. And having seen the movie   today on the big screen, I don’t remember what I saw on the anime. Hell, I don’t remember what I saw in the previous Batman movies and once I walk out of the cinema, I get this feeling – that might be the best superhero movie, ever, if not the best movie ever ( Lee thinks so !!). And it is totaly worth all the hype, all the viral marketing, all the fanboism and hoopla at Comic Cons et al, coz it delivers. No that is not the correct word choice. Coz it overtakes your expectations, by glueing you to your seat, grabbing your collar and make you WATCH with your eyes wide open as the Joker giggles and the Batman glides.And guess what? Anyone who enters the theater with great expectations would leave the theater without the desire of doing so, wanting desperately to watch it a second time, a third time, or even more, with the stark realization that the word “great” in one’s expectations earlier is SORELY inadequate! There are reasons why movies like these need to be 2 hours and 32 minutes long. Because there is only one Dark Knight.

The very first thing I would like to highlight on is Gotham City. Not comparing in any form to Burton’s blue and claustrophobic version of Gotham, Nolan’s Chicago-esque (it WAS shot in Chicago) metropolitan Gotham City ( notice the mention of word City) sets the tone perfectly. It is a huge canvas where crime is being painted in dark shades and takes almost every inch of it. There are skyscrapers with glass windows perfect for snipers, and there are dark alleys, parking lots and even open streets where Crime thrives. Gotham City is in complete mess with the ongoing gang wars, bank robberies, Batman clones teamed up with…ha ha ..ScareCrow and even Asian dealers teaming up with Gangsters. And then, all hell breaks loose, when a purple suited, make up wearing , red lipped man who calls himself Joker shows up. What shocks me more than anything is the complete despair that it might be, to see the entire system of a city failing to the plotlines set by the Joker. No….I wouldn’t be revealing anyone of them. You gotta get out and WATCH THIS ONE.

To put it straight, Heath Ledger steals the show (arguably). There is so much a menace that gleams in his eyes, an unknown thirst seeking for something when he flick his tongue out like a lizard and an enjoyment for chaos in the laughter. I was convinced it wasn’t Ledger, it was the Joker. And Heath Ledger perfects this vision of Nolan to such an extent, that it can be on one of those Best Cinematic Villains list, right up there with Anthony Hopkins-Hannibal Lecter(Silence of the Lambs) and Kevin Spacey’s John Doe (Se7en).The Joker here is BAD BAD! So BAD that he makes Jack Nicholson’s Joker look funny. And with lines that make you feel a chill run down your spine-” Why So Serious? Let’s put a Smile on that face”.And to see him hung upside down revealing -”I don’t want to kill you. What would I do without you?”.
Holy Shmoly. Watch him play more with the minds than with the knives. Listen him speak, and watch him walk. And this coming February, please oh please, give him the Oscar.

Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent gives life to this character like never before. There is so much credibility to this one, and you could instantly feel the motivation that keeps him going. To be the ‘White Knight’ of Gotham City. And with the good CGI SFX at service, Two Face can make you cover your eyes with your hands. Aaron Eckhart’s portrayal speaks with ease of his battle against crime and then later on, of his thirst for vengeance. And then there is that small actor called Morgan Freeman(joke for those who just don’t get it and are easily offended), who speaks 2 lines with a wink and a smile, and that is enough for me to remember that Morgan Freeman IS Lucious Fox. Maggie Gyllenhal has not much to do in this movie than just rummaging through files and be the damsel in distress. As for Alfred aka Michael Caine (who was who?), he is the only actor who can play Alf. And I swear I haven’t seen Mr.Caine age in the last 30 years. And then to conclude the characters, there’s Gary Oldman as Commissioner James Gordon. Did someone just pull him out of a DC page? His constant one-man effort in keeping the system work is so exhausting. And then, you feel the belief that he has in Batman. That the Dark Knight is perhaps, the only Hero there is.

But in a movie clouded by so much hype, the untimely demise of Heath Ledger in an immortal and scary-monstrous role, Christian Bale still manages to keep it as a Batman movie. Not just by the act of him gliding over the Gotham skyline (so cool, that if you had the DVD, your remote would be done in 2 weeks), but by justifying the name-Dark Knight. Batman, unlike any other superhero of the DC and Marvel Universe, is a man living with the trauma of trying to be the good one, and only to be pushed back to the dark side. He is a loner, an outcast, questionably trusted by only a few, and yet he dresses up in his bat suit to battle crime. Batman’s inner struggle to balance the vigilante and the comfortable public persona of Bruce Wayne is visible in every scene. His voice commands like the Dark Knight would, and his flamboyance speaks for itself when he is Bruce Wayne.The Batman has to fight and keep on fighting, come what may. In pain, in darkness and even when he is mistaken as the villain. And it is so true when Harvey Dent speaks of the fate of a hero is  that ” You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”.

Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight will go down in cinematic history as the Movie to Beat. It breaks the genre rule and doesn’t stick to any superhero movie formula. There is no genesis story and neither a  radioactive freak accident product. No global destruction plans. Actions yes, including a sommersaulting truck, a ringing phone in a place it shouldn’t be and a bank robbery.And as the climax is over,it leaves you so sad that it was Ledger’s last. Just 2 weeks before, I had skimmed through what Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher had to offer on the menu. And with Mr.Nolan’s 6 course meal with desserts by the side, I have lost the taste of all the previous meals.Dark Knight is FANTASTIC, FABULOUS and FLAWLESS. An EPIC movie in all aspects.

The above pic is a G-rated one. For the PG-13 version, go here. Anyway,for the children of this age who have not been subjected to Joel Schumacher’s third degree torture, you are blessed. Because we have seen a multi-million franchise to have been lifted from being a campy TV franchise to a Gothic vision (by Tim Burton, which had its flaws, but we love it) and then just been destroyed..no BUTCHERED. Batman Forever was, as they say, the beginning of the end, and Batman and Robin was the last nail in the coffin (until it was ressurected by Nolan ). Still makes me wonder sometimes what was going through the mind of Joel Schumacher and the guys at Warner Bros when they made these two (the first one-Batman Forever in the year 1995-3 years after Batman Returns, and the second one: Batman and Robin in 1997). And I often imagine the following dialogues.

Joel: (while watching Burton’s versions) Oh Burton Burton..!! He must be so disturbed.Need more lights, more fluorescence. Ladies-Uma Thurman, Drew Barrymore, Nicole Kidman, beat that!! oh that lady in the Crying video. More Gay appeal. Clooney, c’mon you are sport enough to flash bat Nipples yeah!! And yeah, some good bulge as well. Robin, we’ll have a butt shot. And yes, Tommy Jones-we don’t have much budget, you have to do your own make-up. We’ll have the future Governor of CA as the cold villain. (Evil Laugh).

WB guys: Joel, consider Jim Carrey for the Riddler. The guy is insanely good.

Joel: Jim who?

The rest as they say is history. All that I write for the two movies here are based on the bleak and yet disturbed memories that I had after watching these two cinematic crap-bags almost 5 years ago. And no, I didn’t watch it again to blurt it all out. Just thought this one would be a good sequel to my previous post: Batman -The First Two. I promise to keep it short, and sorry no screenshots to grace this post.

Batman Forever: I can imagine how people would have felt in 1995 to have waited for the movie to follow Batman Returns and to have seen this. I know it has Val Kilmer and Jim Carrey, but it’s Joel Schumacher all over. It completely lacks Burton, Michael Keaton and the darkness involved. This felt like fast food, low cholestrol, low calorie and half baked ( by which I mean it is BAD). Romance wise, Nicole and Val Kilmer did click more than Bruce Wayne and Vicky Vale, or Selina Kyle maybe. The schizophrenia of Harvey Dent-Two Face was completely annoying,awful and much like a wannabe impersonation of Nicholson’s Joker, only with a worse makeup. There are only two things good about this movie, and one of them isn’t in the movie. Yeah, it is Seal’s OST-Kiss From a Rose. The second one is – but of course, Jim Carrey as Edward Nygma aka the Riddler. He personifies the comic book character down the last inch and is the only one who keeps this movie from being unwatchable. He completely overtook the lead in this flick (like in all other Batman movies, the villains enjoy the coveted role e.g. Joker, Penguin, arguably Scarecrow also and Riddler makes it to the list as well). But then, do we care at all? And oh yes, just to add to that annoyance, Joel Schumacher says-eh! just not gay enough,this one introduced Robin.

Batman and Robin: This one actually makes sense if there is an explanation about Joel Schumacher’s upbringing. Perhaps, he has an intrinsic hatred towards Batman-the character or just bats. And that’s why consciously made it to this level of crap-piness. George Clooney flashes his shiny disco balls-err…nipples on the bat-suit. He carries on to be more of Clooney than be Wayne.Then we have the catch phrase churning machine who is blue in color, and is anything but Mr.Freeze. Mr.Schwarzenegger is in no way a cold psychopath, like the Mr.Freeze of DC Comics.And then, there is one of my favorite action stars Uma Thurman as nerdy botanist Dr.Pamela who suddenly turns into a seductress who emits pheromones. This movie was bad ,worse and worst when it comes to casting. Wait a min. This actually is not limited to only casting. But moving on, next up is Alicia Silverstone as the rebellious and ‘Clueless’ Batgirl. I’d rather not talk about her role or I’ll upset Steven Tyler. And just when you thought it was done, Joel Schumacher shouts- Not Gay Enough!!! Hmm, Robin!!! Robin!!! Flash your butt. Camera Zoooming. Nuff said! To end this post, I’ll leave you with an embed of a Youtube video titled: BATMAN AND ROBIN WORST MOVIE EVER

The next post is the review of the new anime: Batman:Gotham Knight which supposedly links Batman Begins and Dark Knight. Hope to see you there!!

I can still remember the spine chilling grrl that came out of the mouth of Oswald Cobblepot. The white-skinned flippers, the gaze and teeth which had a “dark green toxic liquid” layer on them. That was 10 years ago, when I watched a glimpse of Batman Returns, and could not complete watching it because of reasons I cannot remember now. And even before that, a very young me was completely frightened by the horror of a smiling man. A face whose smile did not bring a sense of joy, but instantly meant evil. Such was the power of the Joker, that when I saw the newsreader girl fall on the floor and watch her face turn into a white smile, I went ahead and switched off the TV. And till date, I had not completely watched Batman-the first two. I can hear many wtfs in the background, but that’s true. And having survived through the worst two (which is the topic of the next post on OKS), a good amount of well written Batman Beyond series and of course Nolan’s darker,better and most mature treatment of Batman in Batman Begins, I really wanted to go back and finish my task of watching Tim Burton’s Batmans. This had been a pending job for me more than a movie watching thing, and I knew it wouldn’t be a better timing than watch it NOW, when the Dark Knight releases next week on July the 18th. So to officially begin with the week long celebrations for the welcome of the Dark Knight, Ladies n Gents, I give you: Batman -The First Two.

Screenshots after the Jump.

Batman – I would call it the yardstick by which all the other Batman movies to follow, would be measured. This was enormous in every sense. A visually arresting epic of the lonesome hero who lives in his castle with his butler. He has huge apprehensions of giving away his identity to his lady love, and then on the other hand, is tormented by the workings of the crime gang-war in Gotham city. On one hand, we have Jack Nicholson in one of the roles in which he will always be remembered-Jack Napier aka the JOKER. The laugh with skin stretched to the extreme, and the eyes to match- we have someone going up against probably, Sir Hopkins’ Dr.Lecter. Such was the impact of watching the Joker unleashing his acts onscreen. And then, on the other hand, we had the tormented Bruce Wayne trying to move on from his childhood nightmare only to be pulled back. Batman had it all- Gotham city built to the last inch, the onscreen chemistry between Michael Keaton and Kim Basinger, and of course the horrors of the Grin. Some people would mention Prince’s soundtrack to that list, but I wouldn’t. And somehow, all my memories of having read Bob Kane’s creation on paper all these years, and having watched Batman in many forms- from the animated series, to Batman Beyond to the recent Batman Begins, I would still say that Tim Burton’s Batman is very satisfying in creating a nightmarish environment of Gotham city where crime is easily the king and the hero struggles to keep everything in place. It would be completely wrong if I were to comment on the quality of the action scenes, the Batmobile and the special effects now that we are living in a world post the Matrix. As the first cinematic adaptation of Batman, I say this one succeeds in bringing the insanity and humor along with the diabolic elements of the Joker, strikes a balance between the lonely Bruce Wayne and the Dark Knight but does leave out Commisioner Gordon’s character and even makes Alfred to play matchmaker to Bruce and Viki. But yeah, I still love it.

Batman Returns-I personally felt Tim Burton goes a bit indulgent with this one . With the music, the characterization and the setting. Mr.Burton surely does have a thing for theatrical setting and operatic music and has enveloped this one completely with it. Take a look at the Gotham city that he has created. Inch deep in snow and all foggy, it is very claustrophobic in here, and certainly not how I would have liked it to be. I know Penguin calls for a polar environment to be created, but for Pete’s sake I still can’t believe 25 people attending a Mayor’s public speech-every time. Not to forget people reading out the headlines aloud on the streets, no one repeating another, all from different publications. Isn’t that a bit of Batman on Broadway? The crime scene created by the gang of Penguin (not the flock) seems so much Acrobatics galore!! Next problem is Selina Kyle aka Catwoman. I know you’re gonna flash that finger to me now. But hold on until you read this. Why on earth, don’t we get to see the explanation to Selina’s schizophrenia? Why is it all left out in the open that she would rather roll than walk and have anything against the Batman? Though anyday, I will pick Pfeiffer’s Catwoman to be one of the sexiest villains of cinema, this was an unexplored territory in the cinema why the Catwoman chose the side of the Penguin. Which brings us to the best part-Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin. Portrayed completely different from the comics, Danny Devito excels in every single frame and as the bald head, dressed in a Victorian underwear, with white flippers and joined fingers, a beaky nose, and a dark green liquid flowing as he spoke, the Penguin was the highlight of this movie. I would perhaps go to the length of saying that Danny Devito’s penguin exceeds the maniac that the Joker of the first movie was. This one goes ahead and chews off your nose, walks like a beast or a penguin(whatever), and speaks to himself. He is what he calls himself- “I am not a Man, I am an animal, I am the Penguin”. With revenge in his heart, and a distorted plan on his mind, the Penguin is why this movie works. And for most of the part, he is the HERO of the movie and Michael Keaton gets completely overshadowed by the grotesque of Danny Devito’s Penguin. This is what covers up all flaws in the plot and even elevates the movie to the level it is considered now to be on.

If you were to ask me to pick one, it would be easy to say. I choose Batman as the winner. But if you ask me to pick the favorite villain between the two, it’s got to be Danny Devito’s Penguin. It is scarier than all distortions included for the vision of Scarecrow. And for your reference and viewing pleasure, I have included a few screenshots of both movies. And please do tell me , if you liked my review of these two. See you at the next post- Batman: The Worst Two

Screenshots of Batman

Screenshots of Batman Returns

It goes without saying that Edward Norton’s Bruce Banner is more charming than Eric Bana’s. And well, this version of The Incredible Hulk works on more levels than the previous one.But then the poster to the left suggests as if Norton just walked out of the Ass gates of the Hulk…anyway.. Coming back to the Hulk, I am personally not a big fan of this comic character( I have my reasons for not calling IT a SUPERHERO) and to me, the HULK is just a complex character woven by Stan Lee ,inspired by probably Frankestein and Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. And well, what makes it cool is that Banner’s body is the host to Gamma Ray radiation -’mean green’ in color and ignited by RAGE. That is so Testosterone more than Adrenaline. And that is why, Hulk remains one of my least favorite.  But having said that, nothing is more cool than to see the green monster go berserk bashing around any damn thing lying around and do the Devil’s Dance. Ang Lee’s version was an attempt to keep the dance low key and project more of the workings of the monstrous mind. It worked for some, and didn’t for others (including me). Norton, Writer Zak Penn and Director Louis Letterier (Transporter 2, Unleashed)  however has plan otherwise. Since the trailers unveiled months back, we all knew this was here to undo the harm of the predecessor, and not only revive the Hulk franchise, but also in a way try to start it from a clean slate and show more Bam and KaPOWs per frame. And yes, it is more interesting when the Hulk is not challenged by the petty US Army, but by his equally strong radioactive nemesis.

The Incredible Hulk begins with a quick recap of the origin. The experiment which went wrong, the gamma ray radiation which turned the scientist into Mr.Green Frankie and injures every one in the goddamn lab including the general whose secret mission is to upscale the biological experiment to a superhuman weapon, and whose daughter is two timing between a college prof and Banner. Banner on the other hand is on the run, hiding in Brazil and keeping a low profile working in a fruit juice bottling plant. Thank God, the Hulk has finally entered international territory. He travels through the jungles of Brazil to the waterfalls of Guatemala. Oh yeah!! And then Mr.Banner also gets to sport a hoodie with a baseball cap. And the chase with the US army is very ‘bourne like’. And yes, probably Norton himself is quite disturbed by the biggest question facing HULK- Why don’t his pants tear open? Norton tries to convince the viewers with his shopping choice of stretchy pants shown on the borders of Mexico. And yeah, after every ‘Incident’ we see Banner holding on to his pants in the waist region trying to hold em from falling off. I am convinced. Now don’t overdo it.

Next best thing: The sexual tension between Banner and his lady love finally gets to explode. Ms Liv Tyler has no problem getting a taste of the radioactive ahem ahem. But then Bruce Banner is a self righteous man. And he doesn’t want to risk having Hulk juniors and also has questions on the durability of Durex. And so when the beeper beeps its time to take retreat.But yes, as the climax suggests, Mr.Banner has mastered the techniques of Baba Ramdev’s Kapal Bharati and hence can do things at will. As in he can be Hulk when he wants to save the day and back to Banner when its time to save the Night.

Third Best thing: Hulk has an affection for Metal. Now the Hulk bashing Metal Plates (Huge Ones) like the Monkey Toy with Bangs Bangs is gonna be the next rage in the merchandise world. Gone are the days of the Monkey. It is such a sight to see Hulk bang the metal plates and even try to repel the Sonic Booms. Even shows, that behind the Green Brute is a Scientist who knows how to fight Physics with Physics. Not only that, he applies laws of Vibration to extinguish Fire, uses centripetal force of revolving bodies for his advantage, and yes finally propagation of energy waves in crests and troughs (I am done with my keywords of Laws of Vibration, now can I have my degree?) And yes, while the Nemesis didn’t think it essential considering the fabric material of his pants before entering the operating room, who’s laughing now?

Only bad thing: The action is all good, the scenes are nicely written, but somehow, the Hulk still looks too CGI for me. I mean, ok we still can’t replicate the exact facial human expressions, and yes, they have done a pretty good job. But still, the closeup on the monster is UNREAL. And yeah, what’s with the suspense in the Opening Scene. Is the Hulk a bit of camera shy that he has to be enveloped in smoke until he gets really pissed to growwl? And no, the rumors are wrong. No Captain America.

Last Best Thing: “We are forming a Team”-Tony Stark