The Fragrance of Surabhi

Once upon a time, long before television was invaded ( read:screwed over) by kanjeevaram sari clad women with jewellery as heavy as themselves, witchcrafty make-up, mean plans and super-repetitive close-up shots (or in other words Balaji Telefilms), was the era of Doordarshan’s Prime Entertainment. And that was when, long before becoming the Bhabhi of the Nation (singing Lo Chali Main  with Salman Khan in Hum Aapke Hai Kaun), Renuka Shahane entered our lives as the Lady with the Electrifying smile, greeting us “Namaskar” every Sunday Night with Siddharth Kak on SURABHI. CINEMA VISION INDIA’s production, Surabhi brought information packaged in an entertaining 30 minutes box like never before. It wowed us to the core. Children, adoloscents and adults across the nation were glued to the half hour of culture explosion that ranged from dizzying heights of Ladakh to Aleppey’s backwaters, from the fields of Paan cultivation to remembering the greatness of cinema legends like Raj Kapoor and K.L.Saigal. Surabhi was my Indian Wikipedia; even better, it was on Television and I competed with my Dad in answering the Sawaal Jawaab. Read More

Bollywood Razzies 2008

I am just a bit late for this post. But may be just in time. The Oscars nominations were announced last night, and as expected Slumdog was there on the top nominations list along with that Button movie. And surprisingly no nods for The Dark Knight. But all of that has nothing to do with this post. Well, just a bit. Coz, with Oscars comes the Razzies, but here on OKS it is Bolllywood style. It is the cream of the crap that we award each year. Last year (read the post here), we ‘awarded’ amongst others, Himmesh Reshammiya, Jia Khan, and RGV Ki Aag. This year, though the competition has been fierce, nothing has come close to the fire of Aag. However, we shall not tolerate any sort of discrimination against these maati-ke-laals who have tormented us this year. These movies of Bollywood deserve nothing less than rotten eggs and the toxic waste courtesy – Mumbai Mahanagar Palika. We received a lot of nominations from OKS readers worldwide, and we have narrowed it down to the following nominations, and we give you the reason why the winners are the Looohooo….Saaahaaars !!! ( Just the way Mr.Jim Carey says Losers in Ace Ventura).  So join me as we announce the Nominees and the Winners of this year’s Bollywood Razzies as they proudly walk down the Yellow Carpet.

Pathbreaking Performance by Male: (Jimmy)Mimoh


Harman Baweja comes close, but loses at the worst category as well. Poor guy, he doesn’t win this too. Yeah, he kinda tried hard to be Hrithik, with the correct aping of Duggu’s accent, dance moves and over-acting, but well 2050 is where he should be -a man who is way ahead of time. 

Sikander Kher: Yeah, he is the son of Kirron Kher and Anupam Kher. But that is it. Woodstock Villa came and went like a fart. That’s why we call him Gone with the broken wind.

Himmess (Karzz): How could we forget last year’s winner? Himmess will remain a permanent addition to the nomination list as long as he has thoughts of featuring in a movie, even in a cameo.

The Haal –e-Dil thing: Nakul whateva and Whateva Suman. Pffffffft !!!!

WINNER: MIMOH (Jimmy). Okay, I am gonna keep it simple because I am done with my adjectives when I think about writing something intelligent about Mimoh. He is outright crap, immensely non-talented and the worst actor ever. He is so worse at this that it actually makes me laugh. He’s got the voice that resembles a male Rani Mukherjee. But judging by the way Rani’s career boomed rather than bomb after Raja ki Aayegi Barat, can we hope that Mimoh will lose some loadsa weight, get some ‘acting’ in his script and make his Papa proud?

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Special Bollywood Awards

I have already announced the Bollywood Razzies for this year, but my heart refuses to stop at this. C’mon, it’s January and time for the Bollywood awards season. As the Screens,Filmfares and Zee Awards get ready to roll out the nominees, I have the opportunity to squeeze out every “unconventional” and “special” award for this year’s Bollywood releases. The first category is the Bollywood Special Awards, ones which can also be called The Good Ones. Read on to know the Bad ones, and of course don’t miss the Ugly ones. So here they are-


Duniya Jaaye Tel Bechne( Let the world sell oil, I mean no holds barred) Dance:
Undisputed Winner:-Kay Kay Menon, high and stoned, grooves to the foot-thumping Sajanaji Vari Vari, and even does a Naagin Dance. We all loved it.

Acapella Vocals:
Contenders-Krishna: Maula Mere Le Le Meri Jaan (Chak De India)
Kailash Kher: Ya Rabba (Salaam-e-Ishq)
WINNER:Sonu Nigam: O Re Paakhi(Khoya Khoya Chand) Read More

Bollywood Razzies 2007

As 2007 comes to an end, its time to roll out the red carpets, open the envelopes and beat the pulp out of those movies that kept on coming back to you and haunted you this year and made you shiver with disgust at the most odd hours of the day/night.These movies go down in the history of this list as the Bollywood Razzies, aka the Worst Movies of the Years as well as Performances. It is no easy job to make it to this list. You need to be utterly creative in some way, as in if you actually intended to make a tragedy, you ensure it looks like Mr.Bean’s Holiday. And if the original script pitched plans of a comedy, the end product should make all of the crew weep. Now that’s what we call (F)ART. Only few movies have been able to qualify for the coveted “award” this year, and choosing the righteous winner among them has been a tiring effort for me. It has taken me sleepless nights, intense hours of soul searching and some barrels of Budweisers to arrive at the “Winners”. So here we go.

Breakthrough Performance of the Year Male:-

The Shaved and Waxed chest, a Peek at what’s behind the Diesel Cap, The Nasal takes a big leap beyond the lands of Narnia, and well, He finally smiles. Ladies and Gentlemen, bow to his Majesty, Himessssss….Surooooor….Reshammiya. A Star is Born? Ahem Ahem! Sorry, I just choked on me words. Read More