The remake of the 90′s cult movie – Agneepath might have sounded like a bad idea on paper. After all, it is so deeply embedded with the strong presence of a performance which defined the star, and the star which defined the movie. Amitabh Bachchan’s white suited, guy-liner endorsing gangster, might have been a 90′s take on the many smuggling movies of the 70′s – viz. Don and Deewar. But what made Agneepath different then, was its no holds barred, self destructive protagonist, who is solely driven by revenge. How could one recreate that? Debutante director Karan Malhotra has the answer for that. And the answer is .. not to recreate *that*. 2012′s Agneepath is a remake of the 90′s original in as much way as Ram Gopal Varma remade the Godfather into Sarkar (and Sarkar Raaj). It does not attempt to shift the time scale and create similar scenes/situations existing in a parallel universe, re-enacted by a different group of actors. Instead, it redefines the dynamics, the relationships and the narrative to a certain extent, and yet, pays tribute to the presence of the original. And THAT is how you remake movies – not by driving your script to make more cash, but by making your characters come back to life..or rather offer a new life to your characters.

By now you must have got it that I loved this movie, despite a few silly unwanted additives. But when the end product is so damn good, who am I to complain. Hit the jump, as I discuss a bit more in details, and of course will be making some comparisons with the original [inevitably].  SPOILER ALERT

We know of the plot already, as I believe most of you have either seen the original, or the new one, or even both (like me). So, I’ll try to skim the fat, and get straight to the point.

#1. The first thing that Karan Malhotra’s version instantly establishes is how Mandva works. It is a village, on an island, and ruled by a Zamindar. And most importantly, Master Deenanath Chauhan is not a dumb self-righteous dude. But he’s one who is ambitious about the economic growth of the village. This is what makes him a villain for the Zamindar, and his evil son – Kancha. Secondly, a 12 year old Vijay, played surprisingly very well by Arush Bhiwandiwala, gets to see his father getting hanged in front of him. THAT is disturbing on so many levels, and defines Vijay’s self-destructing motivation towards avenging his father’s death. It is a bit unclear how Vijay associated everything against only Kancha in the original.

#2. Vijay, is not an angry man. Amitabh’s bare chested challenge to his ganglords to shoot him does not feature here. There are no monologues in a police station, and neither any grand dialogue delivery. Vijay is a very deeply disturbed, miserable and extremely sad man, who has lost his father, been rejected by his mother, and is struggling to reach his goal. And Hrithik portrays it in the most real way possible. There is clear pain in Hrithik’s eyes, his stare and even in his body language. Even with a body so big, you can see through the broken heart that he carries around. And you can also see the clear determination in him to prove his point – even when he knows of the dire consequences.

#3. So how do the two Vijays compare? One is the filmy best. But the other is heartfelt, and sort of explains Vijay Dinanath Chauhan’s motives clearer. Come next year, I’ll be surprised if Hrithik does not take home the awards for this. If acting means immersing yourself into a character, to an extent that the fine line between what’s real and what’s not, is blurred, then Hrithik’s acting of Vijay Chauhan is “acting”.

#4. The genre defining moment of Vijay.. Dinanath.. Chauhan.. Poora Naam, is perfectly placed in the new one. Of course, I have been anticipating how they’d treat it, as it has been spoofed way too many times to count. And I will not spoil it for you when it happens, but it is indeed very satisfying.

#5. Rauf Lala. How can I sum up my thoughts about Rishi Kapoor playing Rauf Lala? Ermm.. excellent, brilliant, amazing? Those are mere adjectives, and I’d add some more to that, only if I knew what. I am absolutely loving the different shades of characters that Chintujee has been portraying over the last few years (e.g. Do Dooni Chaar, Luck By Chance, Chintujee, Love Aaj Kal). And this is a brilliant addition to his amazing filmography. Rishi Kapoor makes us believe in Rauf Lala as the gangster who rules Mumbai’s drug distribution network. Lala’s power, his control and his unforgivably disgusting business of trafficking young girls, is again balanced by his family oriented life, and the trust he has in Vijay. Or is that the whole picture? You’ve got to watch this to find out. And oh, Shah Ka Rutba has been playing on my Winamp since I have got out of the cinema. That’s going to get a lot of hits on Youtube from me when the video releases.

#6. Speaking of videos, the only other song that stands out is – Gun Guna Re, where we see Priyanka’s dancing skills in a Dogri chawl mohalla. The track is very catchy, and you can’t help tap your foot; more so when Udit jee takes over, and a drunk Vijay tries to ape the dance steps. Some more points for resisting the temptation to not make Hrithik Roshan do some proper dance moves. That’d have been pretty awkward to see Vijay move like jagger. And no, Chikni Chameli is one of those unwanted additives that I was talking about earlier. More of it has already been discussed here.

Special mention to the background score/sound engineer Stephen Gomes for inserting appropriate bassoon sounds, and even cellos. The use of colours in the Ganesh Chaturthi scene was exceptionally pretty, and cinematographer Kiran Deohans’s job is very much appreciated.

#7. And speaking of Priyanka Chopra, she’s probably the sore thumb of the movie. I get it that she’s one of the big league actresses now, and demands a better wardrobe than the extras. But please, only when it suits the movie. Ok, so she runs a Chinese beauty parlour, so is definitely more fashionable. Hmm… still can’t digest the fact. I don’t see the point in adding a female lead, just so for the sake of it. If I were to design the title poster (in the beginning of the post), her rectangle wouldn’t be as wide as the ones of Rishi Kapoor and Sanjay Dutt. And what was with that Nepali vs. Chinese thingie? What was the agenda behind that scene? Am I missing a joke or something?

#8. Coming back to Mandwa, thanks to Karan Malhotra’s imagination, it is redesigned by Kancha as a concentration camp – where villagers are enslaved, and their land is used for cocaine plantation. But it is a bit weird to see that Kancha, who has clearly got contacts to get weapons, artilleries, and possibly food distributed for his army, cannot get into Mumbai via any of the neighbouring states. Or perhaps, Rauf Lala’s network is more widespread than my imagination. But then, how would I know the operations and project management aspects of a gangster. LOL! [BRB! #Facepalming myself for having that written down, but too lazy to delete it now].

#9. Sanju Baba, is back in his Khalnayak avatar. He has been a social outcast for his alopecia problem, but I don’t get the logic behind Kancha’s mentally deranged actions – such as hanging anyone that he dislikes, or having a loud laughter (in Hindi we call it “Thahaka”) at the drop of a hat, or for not flossing. Maybe, that’s what defines him – Kancha is mental! And you cannot define mental. Just as Alfred said, “Some people just want to see the world burn”. Kancha wanted to see Mandwa to be his coke-mine. But what he’d do with all that money if he couldn’t get out of Mandwa, is a burning question, that I leave open to the floor.

#10. And for the climactic fight between Vijay and Kancha, it is by all means epic. Sanju looks like a beast, who can even handle a bullet through him. And Vijay looks like the rock that can beat the scissors…oh wait…he did get stabbed numerous times. But he rises, and then what a scene!! [It is here, where I started missing my local theatre, when I could hoot a wolf whistle to my heart's satisfaction]. To be noted, Hrithik gets stabbed in the stomach, but when his shirt gets all torn, that knife scar disappears, and with that, any source of bleeding. Minor filmi creative freedom, or huge cinematic fail? You decide.

To conclude: Agneepath is a hell of a movie. The tone is very serious, dark and extremely violent at times. There’s slashing of necks, and bullets flying. It is rated 15 for a reason, so don’t go expecting a family movie. Hrithik delivers a solid, emotionally charged, and physically punching performance. To me the stand-out moment of Vijay, has to be the one at the end, when after Kancha is killed, Vijay breaks down, to scream out – Babaaa. All his bottled anguish and pain, is released. And with that Vijay’s purpose in life is served. It moved me, more than any of the dialogues could. Rishi Kapoor’s act as the druglord kingpin Rauf Lala deserves all the awards, and more. I wish Sanju was a little bit less caricaturish, and a bit more real.

OKS Rating: 4 Slashing Machetes Out of 5

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So, the Screen awards for 2012 got handed out in an elaborate awards function show last night. We’ll get to see more of it in a few weeks, when the heavily edited, and appropriately placed emoticons of Priyanka Chopra smiling at Shahid Kapoor’s jokes will be one of the highlights of the show. Because, if we talk about the awards, the final winners list looks more like a token give-away to anyone who attended the show. And just in case the blogosphere doesn’t explode with opposing comments over SRK winning an award in a year where he’s mostly done more publicity work than Times Square billboards, Screen has quite conveniently created new categories to make everyone a very happy family. Welcome to the Bollywood awards season – the season of egalitarian policy and where acting doesn’t matter.

Earlier in the month, we made some predictions. And by the looks of it, Screen actually managed to pull off a “ha-ha, gotcha! In your face everyone”. Hit the jump, as we review the winners, and also review our predictions vs. the final list of winners.

THE 18th SCREEN AWARDS 2012 – WINNERS

TECHNICAL AWARDS:

Costume: The Dirty Picture  / OKS: Ra.One
Verdict: Fair-dos

Action: Ra.One / OKS: Ra.One
Verdict: Told-ya

Choreography: Bosco Caeser – Senorita, ZNMD / OKS: Chammak Challo – Ra.One
Verdict: Meh! Senorita looked more like impromptu stuff. I don’t see anyone doing Abhay’s moves. Chammak Challo is still my winner.

Cinematography: R Madhi – Shaitan / OKS: ZNMD
Verdict: Fair-dos

Dialogue: ZNMD / The Dirty Picture / OKS: Tanu Weds Manu
Verdict: WTF!!! TDP for it’s mega boom-bastic Emraan Hashmi metaphors, dropped at 1000 per minute. And what is with the two winners. Ooh, there’s more!

Story: Delhi Belly / OKS: Stanley Ka Dabba
Verdict: WTF!!! I don’t get it how a crime caper comedy is the best story we’ve heard in 2011.

MUSIC AWARDS:

Lyrics: Prashoon Joshi – Aarakshan / OKS: Irshaad Kamil – Rockstar
Verdict: Complete WTF!!! I think the closest comparison would be to give SRK the best actor for English Babu Desi Mem. Wait, did he win anything for that?

Music: A.R.Rahman – Rockstar / OKS: A.R.Rahman – Rockstar
Verdict: Told ya! This was unstoppable.

Background Score: Ranjit Barot – Shaitan / OKS: Ram Sampath – Delhi Belly
Verdict: Fair-dos.

Playback (Male): Mohit Chauhan – Rockstar / OKS: Mohit Chauhan – Rockstar
Verdict: Told ya! Another one of the most predictable winners this year. Although, I’d have LOVED to see Bappi da going home with this award this year!

Playback (Female): Shreya Ghoshal – The Dirty Picture / OKS: Usha Uthup – 7 Khoon Maaf
Verdict: Fair-dos. Yes, Shreya is deserving, but more so for Saibo, imho. But am happy with this too.

MAIN AWARDS:

Child Artist: Partho Gupte – Stanley Ka Dabba / OKS: Partho Gupte – Stanley Ka Dabba
Verdict: Yep, told ya!

Ensemble: ZNMD / OKS: Chillar Party
Verdict:  Fair-dos. I think I got a bit carried away with my own judgement, rather than who I believed would win on the night. Stupid decision, considering how obvious it was that Screen loved ZNMD.

Actor in a comic role: Pitobash – Shor in the City / OKS: Pitobash – Shor in the City
Verdict: Told ya! A very well deserved award. All the best for Filmfare and future projects.

Promising Newcomer (Male): Divyendu – Pyar Ka Punchnama / OKS: Pitobash – Shor in the City
Verdict: Haven’t seen the movie PKP, so really can’t give the verdict on this.

Promising Newcomer (Female): Parineeti Chopra  - Ladies Vs. Ricky Bahl / OKS:  Parineeti Chopra  - Ladies Vs. Ricky Bahl
Verdict: Told ya!

Actor in a negative role (Male): Prashant Narayanan (Murder 2) / OKS: Amole Gupte – Stanley Ka Dabba
Verdict: Fair-dos. Prashant was good, but it is hard for me to judge, since the Korean original, The Chaser, is far superior than the desi-copied version.

Actor in  a negative role (Female): Priyanka Chopra – 7 Khoon Maaf / OKS: Kalki Koechlin – Shaitan
Verdict: Fair-dos. But, am curious if she had a performance lined up for the night.

Supporting Actor: Saif Ali Khan -Aarakshan / OKS: Rajesh Sharma – No One Killed Jessica
Verdict: WTF! And I’d like to add a thousand more WTFs. Seems like the name of the movie for which Saif got the award speaks for itself.

Supporting Actress: Aditi Rao Hydari – Ye Saali Zindagi / OKS:  Parineeti Chopra – Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl
Verdict: Fair-dos.

Actor: Ranbir Kapoor – Rockstar / OKS: Ranbir Kapoor – Rockstar
Verdict: Told ya!! Was anyone else even competing?

Actress: Vidya Balan – The Dirty Picture / OKS:  Vidya Balan – The Dirty Picture
Verdict: Ditto!

Director: Milan Luthria – The Dirty Picture / OKS:  Milan Luthria – The Dirty Picture
Verdict: Told ya! Although, I believe Filmfare will decided otherwise.

Film: The Dirty Picture / ZNMD / OKS: Shor in the City
Verdict: WTF!! Fair-dos. I managed to get both of them wrong. LOL. And what part of Best Film says two movies? Aah, it’s all about loving your family and front row seats.

 MORE WTF-ery 

Popular Choice Male: Shahrukh Khan for Don 2. / OKS: Can I LOL now, or should I just shoot you in the face?

Popular Choice Female: Deepika Padukone for Desi Boyz. / OKS: What movie is that ?

Performer Of The Year: Ekta Kapoor / OKS: Thank you Ekta jee for making The Dirty Picture and Ragini MMS and Shor in the City.

Jodi Award: SRK and Priyanka Chopra / OKS: Did I hear her blush and smile uncontrollably again like on that Koffee show?

Ramnath Goenka Memorial Award for “having made a difference”  - Aarakshan
OKS: And Stanley Ka Dabba which addressed the issue of Child  Labour is irrelevant compared to the “making difference” qualities of Saif winning the Supporting Actor. Two words – Bitch please!

Didn’t predict in my previous post:

Sound Design: Kunal Sharma – Shaitan
Editing: Huzefa Lokhandwala – Delhi Belly
Production Design: Delhi Belly
SFX: Ra.One
Screenplay: Delhi Belly

SCORES:

Told ya: [Correct Predictions ] – 9 out of 35
WTF: [Screen needs some education ] –  8.5 out of 35
Fair-dos: [That was ok! ] – 9.5 out of 35

And Asha Bhonsle received the Lifetime Achievement Award. Congratulations Asha jee and keep blessing us with your melodious voice. On that note, I end this post. Please leave your comments below.

_______________________________________________

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The nominations for the 57th Filmfare Awards have been announced. And by the looks of it, the jury clearly did not watch a lot of movies. There is a clear omission of some of the most best movies in Bollywood of 2011. And a clear favouritism can be spotted as well, as you’d expect from the biggest movie awards in Bolly land. There is no clear consistency in the number of nominees (as in some have 5 nominees, and others 6 – e.g. Best Actor / Actress), and certain nominations are complete wtf-ery. The complete list can be found at the Filmfare awards website.

Hit the jump, as I discuss the nominations, and make my predictions.

Lyrics: Quite similar to the Screen award nominations, but wtf – Javed saab got a nomination, not for Khwabo Ke Parindey, but for the more impromptu Senorita. Remember  - “Na Main Samjha, Na Main Jaana, Jo bhi tumne hai mujhse kaha hai Senorita“. Really Filmfare..Really? Gulzar saab’s Daarling also makes it to the list, along with Irshaad Kamil’s Rockstar accomplishments. And to end the list is another mindfuck – Vishal Dadlani for Chammak Challo. I think it is indeed the end of the world order.

OKS Prediction: Irshaad Kamil for Sadda Haq, but if Vishal wins for Chammak Challo – all bets are off.

Music: A surprise entry here – Sohail Sen is nominated for Mere Brother Ki Dulhan. IMHO, that soundtrack had only one good track and that was Madhubala. Is it worth the nomination – No! Tanu Weds Manu is absent from the list, and so is Shor in the City. Other nominees are Vishal Shekhar for Ra.One, A.R. Rahman for Rockstar, and SEL for ZNMD.

OKS Prediction: A.R. Rahman for Rockstar, just coz it’s easy and uncontroversial.

Playback Singer Male:  Filmfare seems to be clearly impressed by Mohit Chauhan, as he gets dual nods for Rockstar. But wtf, Akon and Vishal for Best singer in Chammak Challo. C’mon, that song was so auto-tuned that even the fire brigade siren called it it’s step brother. And seriously Shafqat and Rahat nominated for one of their weakest songs ever. There is no explanation whatsoever for Bodyguard making it to the nominations, for any of the categories.  There’s no Tochi Raina, Shriram Iyyer for D-D-Dilli, or Wadali Brothers for Rangrez, or Lehmber Hussainpuri for Saddi Gally. And where is Bappi da’s Ooh La La? Bloody annoying!

OKS Prediction: Mohit Chauhan for Rockstar; he’s the man of the moment.

Playback Singer Female:  Again, you can see Filmfare did not listen to that many soundtracks. Bodyguard is included again, just so that we do not forget the year’s biggest grosser. Alyssa Mendosa’s Khwabo Ke Parindey gets the well deserved nod, and so does Shreya’s Saibo. Usha Uthup’s Daarling is a safe bet, but really – Katiya Karu ? I didn’t even like it a bit. Where is Sona for Bedardi Raja? I give up.

OKS Prediction: Alyssa Mendosa for Khwabo Ke Parindey, ZNMD

Supporting Actor Female: It’s interesting to see Juhi Chawla (I Am) getting on the nominations list after ages, and for a well deserved role. Up against her are, Parineeti Chopra (Ladies vs Ricky Bahl), Rani Mukherjee (No One Killed Jessica), Swara Bhaskar (Tanu Weds Manu), and Kalki Koechlin (ZNMD). If it was left for me to choose, I’d go for Swara Bhaskar for her intense and fierce Biharan performance, an absolute treat to watch. But again, this is the Filmfare awards.

OKS Prediction: Juhi Chawla, I Am.

Supporting Actor Male: Evidently, Filmfare lapped up ZNMD..or vice versa. Farhan and Abhay make it to the Best Supporting role nominations. And poor Arjun, I mean Hrithik msut’ve felt left out. Quite cool to see Naseer saab getting a nod as well for his Superstar Surya role in The Dirty Picture. And Vir Das nominated for Delhi Belly is just one of those favouritisms I was talking about. Probably, it is more down to him doing the hosting honours last year, or his Jaa Chudail routine, whichever you preferred. Ending the list, is the strongest contender – Pitobash for Shor in the City. And you know how much I loved his role as Mandook.

OKS Prediction: Pitobash, Shor in the City. I hope Filmfare does an ‘Udaan’, and gives it to the well deserved guy.

Continue here for the Big 4 >> Best Actor / Actress / Director / Film

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As the new year settles in, we are bombarded with the year’s first of many Bollywood awards - The 18th Annual Colors Screen Awards. The nominations are out, and in this post, I’ll be ranting a lot and trying to review the choices for the nominations of this year. Also, winner predictions will be made, and trust me, you can place your bets based on my predictions** (Only at your own risk)**.

The complete list of nominations can be found on Screen’s website here.

P.S., we won’t be discussing all the categories.. pfft. Way too many to even count. Hit the jump for the review.

TECHNICAL AWARDS

Costume: Seems like the only chance for Patiala House to have surfaced on the awards nominees list. But really, what was so striking about the costumes of that movie? But well, neither can I remember anything about two other nominees – Mausam, Ye Saali Zindagi. Ra.One seems like a good contender for bringing spandex back to fashion, but especially for THAT striking Bebo red sari in Chammak Challo. Either that, or the Pink Apsara costume of Vidya (The Dirty Picture), that I’ve been drooling on.

OKS prediction – Ra.One

Choreography: All predictable nominees here, with Chammak Challo, Senorita, Ooh La La, Disco Fighter, and Darling making the cut. In terms of mass appeal, Chammak Challo wins it by a mile. By that I mean, everyone remembers the signature rotatory motion that everyone was doing in Chammak Challo. The next contender I believe is Ooh La La, but that is more about a “back to the 70′s” set, rather than choreography. But then, Screen could go mental and just go fuck it, we’ll award the Disco Fighter song.

OKS Prediction – Chammak Challo – Ra.One

Action: Of all the ones nominated, I liked the non-cheap look of Don2 the most. Although Ra.One had it’s edge over others, with wire-fu and rasengans flying. I am not a big fan of the Vijayan Master school of dishoom dishoom that we got to see in Bodyguard. I think Dabangg was the end of it. And Singham was all about Ajay Devgan doing a Lady Gaga routine.

OKS Prediction – Ra.One

Cinematography: Both Delhi Belly and Rockstar had some exceptional cinematography work, but the obvious choice this year is Carlos Catalon for his portrayal of Spain as a character on it’s own in ZNMD.

OKS Prediction - ZNMD

Dialogue: No, I do not agree with Delhi Belly qualifying as a nominee for it’s expletives. And Farhaan and Abhay Deol’s antics with Bwoys, Mr. The Dubeys, and Mantal – that is not award worthy material. And no, I almost had a migraine after I finished comprehending the many metaphors of The Dirty Picture. And why the hell is Chillar Party not nominated here? My winner is Tanu Weds Manu, for it’s absolute spot on North Indian middle class twang in Hindi – from the very Bihari Payal, to the oh-so natkhat Puppy jee (Deepak Dobriyal).

OKS Prediction - Tanu Weds Manu

Story: I don’t get how some movies like 404 and Mujhse Fraandship Karoge are doing in this category. And I really don’t know why Shor in the City or Shaitan are not in this category. Seems like a bit of a egalitarian policy to not nominate these, as it seems like Screen will be awarding one of these movies in either of the categories. Pfft. Nevertheless, it is great to see Stanley on the list.

OKS Prediction - Stanley Ka Dabba

MUSIC AWARDS

Lyrics: Irshaad Kamil has been nominated for Rockstar and Javed Akhtar for ZNMD. But why the fuck isn’t lyrics writer Rajshekhar nominated here for the mammoth Rangrez?

OKS Prediction - Irshaad Kamil for Sadda Haq

Music: I agree with most of it, as you can see from my own OKS Bollywood Music Awards posts (part 1, and part 2). I’d love to see Krsna or Ram Sampath win. But we all know who’ll take home this one.

OKS Prediction - A.R.Rahman for Rockstar.

Playback (Male) : Mohit Chauhan has been a tour de force this year with Rockstar. But that doesn’t guarantee a win, especially at Screen which has always been very unpredictable in this category. I will LOVE to see Bappi da win this. But on a serious note, ..

OKS Prediction - Mohit Chauhan – Rockstar

Playback (Female) : All nominees are wrong, just fucking wrong. Except for Usha Uthup for Darling. Shreya could’ve been nominated for Saibo, but they went for Ooh La La ( The Ooee Maa must have done it’s magic). And I cannot disagree more on nominating Khoya Khoya Chand. NO!

OKS Prediction - Usha Uthup – Darling

Background Score: If Ram Sampat doesn’t win the Best Music award, I think he should get it. Else, there’s always SEL for ZNMD, or Amit Trivedi for No One Killed Jessica.

OKS Prediction - Ram Sampath – Delhi Belly

Continue to Page 2>> where we discuss the MAIN AWARDS.

]]> http://www.oneknightstands.net/the-screen-awards-2012-nominations-review-and-predictions/feed/ 2 http://www.oneknightstands.net/whadda-faq-aithe-rakh-rockstar-review/ http://www.oneknightstands.net/whadda-faq-aithe-rakh-rockstar-review/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:19:13 +0000 Sujoy http://www.oneknightstands.net/?p=2529

I’ll try to keep this pretty straight forward. Rockstar is a mess of a plot, about a messed up character, and an equally messed up ensemble which tries to make sense throughout the length of the movie, but fails miserably. It is supposed to be a tale of a Jatt-boy who turns into this creative legend because of the pain and anguish that he’s been through. And his angst, pain, misery, and sheer bad luck in love gets channelled out in form of his lyrical lines and his heavy melodies. How grunge, rock n roll, metal..whatever <insert favourite sub-genre of rock>. The only catch here is that the chronology of the events in which all this happens is all wrong. Either that, or Janardhan Jakhar has access to a time machine, which allows him to suffer all these stuff which I mentioned, and then go back in time, to use that to write his songs. And even after I try to overlook this “minor” flaw that seems to have escaped the eye of most reviewers *cough Rediff cough*, I am hit by the wooden wall of the new Deepika Padukone on the block (as in a no-can-do-acting) –  Fakhri, Nargis Fakhri.

Hit the jump, as I discuss The 4 things I did like about Rockstar,

And also the 4 major “baal-nochne waali” (hair-tearing) moments of Rockstar, that made my hair go – Born to be Wild.

*First up: 4 things I liked about Rockstar*

1. Junglee Jawani:

I like it when there is a direct hat-tip to the sleazy youth of North India (or any part of India really). Especially, when its the girl who initiates it. Also, JJ’s confession of faking being sloshed by dapping his face with alcohol like cologne. Clever anecdote that! Credit where credit’s due – Imtiaz Ali does have a way to create a gooey fondness for his characters. And here, we find that in the boyish JJ, who has a naive approach to everything – whether it’s in dealing heartbreak with samosas, or drinking Desi Daru with a “Jai Bajrang Bali”.

2. Shammi Kapoor:

Now, I know there was a very small screen time given to Shammi jee. But considering, this was the last of him that we’d see, it had to be on this list. And one of the film’s finest lines comes from the legend himself, who impersonates a Shehnai maestro – “Ye bada jaanwar hai, Ye chhote pinjre mein nahi samayega” [ Literal translation: He's a big animal. And he will not fit in a small cage] – a simple and quite straight forward analogy of the “Rock” spirit. Every single time he made a brief appearance, it was a moment of awe.

3. Ye Chaand Sa Roshan Chehra:

Although it all ends up being a contrived plot idea (making Heer a Kashmiri, so that we can get Ranbir’s ass back to the Dal Lake, and have some nudge nudge reference), it is all actually worth it. To see young Ranbir and Nargis recreate the immortal picturisation of Kashmir Ki Kali’s “Ye Chand Sa Roshan Chehra” was one of the very few moments in the movie, when I was glued to the screen. And needless to say, I had the widest grin from ear to ear. I’ll leave you with that image for a while

4. Sadda Haq:

This is the track that does it for me. It sums it all up, more than even the movie can do. If this movie was made as a concert, with 10 of such tracks, and just an intermediate filler of the artistes story (like they do in MTV Behind the Music), Rockstar would have been a much better movie. The lyrics reflect the “rock spirit” of non-cooperation, unwillingness to conform to straitjacketed standards of the society. \m/. Absolutely on the money! And Mohit Chauhan’s vocals paired with Rahman’s crazy arrangement filled with Iron-Maiden-ish guitar solos make it an instant Desi Rock Anthem.

Now for the ugly list:

* 4 Things That I Didn’t Like About Rockstar*

1. The Ensemble:

Ok, agreed that Kumud Mishra’s Khatana Bhai is good. His talcum-layered neck, and greasy combed down hairstyle perfectly portrays every canteen owner who’s hosted a “Mata Ki Chowki” night. But apart from that, every other ensemble member in this tale falls flat. The wig-haired music producer of Platinum Records who has a thing for tel-maalish, JJ’s family members – the domestically violent brother and the tactile *ahem Savita ahem* Bhabhi, Heer’s bipolar parents, and Heer’s most annoying sister. Do you remember an old NES game called Duck Hunt? That’s the sort of game I’d like to play with this cast, where I get to shoot them like ducks, and good ol’ Kumud Mishra picking them up. Especially the sister who decides to yell out loud when she discovers that Heer is preggy, and curse JJ, like she was some kinda Durvasha Muni or somethin’. Calm yo tits girl! And not to forget, the omnipresent journalist (Aditi Rao Hydari), who is there to report the antics of Jordan, as well as fill in as a groupie.

2. Back to the summer of 89:

The core theme around Rockstar gave me a flashback feeling of where I have seen all of this done before. And I could rewind it back to the VHS days of 1989 -y’ know, the good ol’ fun days of making a movie experience fun, by watching it backwards. If only Rockstar was half as fun as those legendary ones. Like the one with Kakaji belting out a guitar solo with one hand, as he does a percussion showdown on his congo in Disco Dancer. Or even Tariq with his hair raising Guitar strumming in Yaadon Ki Baarat. All those movies had one thing in common – for great music talent, all you need is bad hair, I mean pain and anguish..like a tragic heartbreak..or something like that. So please, stop all this pretense of making Rockstar sound and look like a new age “Bollywood rising”. Coz its not.

3. Jordan, the Rocker:

One of the most flawed points in the movie comes under limelight, when we get to see JJ transform into Jordan, the Rocker. What we see is a man, driven by angst and negative energy (whatever that is). Everything works well for me, when JJ was the Jatt dude from Pitampura, who wants to be as great as Jim Morrison. But when he seeks inspiration in the form of a heartbreak, that’s when it turns into guano. I just cannot get my head around as to what causes Jordan to become the way he is. He plays mates with Heer, painting Old Delhi red. And then, goes to Kashmir to her wedding, decorating the lights. And then gets back to Delhi, gets kicked out of his house, and with help from his rehab/refuge experience at Hazrat Nizammudin, gets reformed into a music-extraordinairé. Did I miss something? All’s well till then, or is it – the chronology of the editing just fucked my mind over and over again. He’s acting all weird at times, beating up police men, showing middle fingers to his own concert’s organising authorities. And he gets a chance to go to Prague, and jam with street musicians and also perform to audiences in a fucking Opera House. Ok, still plausible. But then, as soon Heer says “N O”, he goes mental, and acts like a jerk, under seizure. Apparently, all the “enlightening” words he’s been receiving from master Katana, has been around building his infectious stage presence after all, and had nothing to do with his music or lyrics. And for a concert artist, there’s nothing shown of his rehearsals with the band. All we get is that he’s juts so badass that he belts out perfect jams on the fly.

And apparently, even before his first album releases, a national news channel is covering all of this, and the youth of India is totally into his badass attitude. Not only that, they’re buying all his shit, rather than downloading it from piratebay.  Nevertheless, if it was the intention of the director to show that Jordan is a mental sociopath, and that’s what makes him so close to the likes of rock legends like Jim Morrison, then this is what Anthony Gonsalves has to say about Jordan.

4. Nargis Fakhri:

And this is the mother of all my complaints with this movie. Nargis is supposed to play the focal point of Jordan’s life. She’s Heer to JJ’s Ranjha, the force of love and the reason of his pain. Instead, what we get is a “thanda thanda cool cool” girl, with the range of just two expressions – “hilarious smile”, and “dead pan look sans makeup”. The chemistry between the lead pair shines a little in the initial Delhi University scenes, but when it switches over to Prague, the characters evaporate into the beauty of the backdrop, where it should’ve been the other way around. Not even sex, drugs and rock n roll could help erase the torture of watching Nargis Fakhri attempt at delivering a line.  No wonder Jordan went mental.

OKS Rating: 2 Middle Fingers out of 5.

Footnote: Watch Rockstar if  -

A) You’re a Ranbir fan, to see how far he has come from his anti-towel days.

B) For A.R. Rahman’s wicked soundtrack which has a ballad, a qawwali, and this generation’s Rock Anthem.

C) Shammi Kapoor.

Like the many reviews out there, my thoughts on Ra.One are also divided. On one hand, I have extremely strong complaints against the movie’s script and its many inconsistencies [ Check out my previous post - My 5 Complaints against Ra.One]. But on the other hand, there is no denying, that there is some amount of absolutely engaging good stuff here. This probably is a good thing for the movie’s future on BluRay or DVD, as we can straight away skip the shitty bits and watch the good ones. So in true Hollywood style, I present to you this sequel to my review – The Ying to the Yang ..the White to the Black..the..you get it.

If I were to be a crafty editor, this is what I’d suggest Ra.One to be – a coherent script which slickly travels through ..

**The 5 Things I Did Like About Ra.One**

1. London and the Battersea Power Station action sequence:

This was one of those moments when the movie was absolutely on the money. It delivered the goodness that it promised in the trailers, and the action sequence, right from the car chase to the VFX was classy. Ra.One’s first face-to-face action scene with G.One was filled with flying cars deflected with electric pulses in shades of red and blue. There’s some good action choreography here, and there’s even SRK’s action version of the now famous – arms-wide-open gaze. This one’s called the “Badass look as the Car falls”. [Refer to GIF above]

2. Chammak Challo:

Akon on autotune, singing Akkiyo se Akkiyaa milaa de.. and Hamsika Iyyer waxing lyricals in Tamil. Bebo looking red hot in a crimson red sari, and also the ultimate reveal that its actually Ra.One in a Bebo disguise, doing a vaguely homoerotic routine, trying to woo G.One and get her/his H.A.R.T. back. OMFG, the size of this metaphor. Kill me now!

3. Chitti Babu and The Other Geeky Nods:

Although the scene with a group of local goons assaulting Bebo at Mumbai International Airport and open firing, is as preposterous as it can be, it was totally worth it to see Chitty Babu’s cameo. That was one absolute no-holds-barred “whistle-blowing” moment. I wish we could get more of these crossover universe things in modern day scifi..like the Doctor landing on Tatooine.

Also, Lucifer’s introductory dream with SRK battling against Khalnayak to save Piggy Chops reminded me of Dante from Devil May Cry. And that whole thing with Ra.One morphing into Akaashi (Tom Wu) and killing him off was so T-1000. And finally, all that flying Rasengans / Hadouken gave me an awesome chill.

4. Train action sequence in Mumbai / CST:

This is one of the best action scenes that I’ve seen in a while, and although it is not as good as the one in Endhiran, its still has enough awesomeness to carry it off. There’s SRK flying between coaches, probably symbolising the rush in Mumbai’s daily life. There’s SRK running on the roofs and racing the train, running sideways on the train, and landing with absolute precision between the engine and the coach, without a single scar or a speck of dirt on his white shirt or undone bow-tie. And in true superhero isshtyle, he stops the train from crashing, but somehow cracking the walls of CST. Is anyone from MNS complaining ?

5. Evil Bebo:

And finally, this has got to be the best part of the movie. Primarily because, unlike most superhero movies, where the female lead is more trouble than help, and is only abused as a damsel in distress, Bebo gets to give it her own spin. Of course, she is the damsel in distress, but Ra.One messes her head with some chemical locha (or was it Electric Impulse Locha), and turns her into a red-eyed maniac. And that diabolic laugh paired with her evil eyes – Man, that can do wonders. Imagine how Bebo could look in an absolutely maniac Dexter kinda role. Someone please write a proper script for her, and make her stop doing Maa Ki Aankh roles in Golmaal type movies.

So there you go, those were the 5 things I liked about Ra.One. Not quite the obvious ones, or were they the most obvious ones – you decide in the comments section below.

Also read (if you haven’t already) – Part 1 – My 5 Complaints Against Ra.One

OKS Rating – 2.5 Crotch Kicks Out of 5

I haven’t written a movie review in quite some time. Although I have seen quite a lot of films in between, I haven’t felt inspired or moved enough to break my realm of laziness and hit those keys. This all came to an end with Dhobi Ghat – the directorial debut of Kiran Rao. It took me a second viewing and hours of pondering upon as I rightfully wanted to justify this piece of art with the correct amount of praising adjectives it deserves. It doesn’t really take the eyes of the oracle to recognise a labour of love, and this my friend, is one helluva masterpiece. Told with a pace that embraces the chaos and hyper-speed of the city of Mumbai, and still managing to calm down our senses , that in itself is no mean feat. And whilst you enjoy the visuals of mad Mumbai, drenched in rain Mumbai and the hustle and bustle of Mumbai, Dhobi Ghat doesn’t get reduced to a mere travelogue. Instead, it is a heartfelt epilogue told through the lives of four people intertwined with each other in a way as strange and surprising as life itself.

You might have guessed from the promos by now that there’s Aamir Khan. Yes, there is Aamir Khan – no, not the superstar. Instead, here Aamir Khan is just a fraction of the whole pie. He is a character – Arun, a loner painter who makes a handsome living out of his art, and has a name to boast off in the social circle, but is intrinsically troubled by his own past and his own eccentricities. And he finds release in his paintings through which he expresses best. He stares at Mumbai with an eye of an outsider, even when he has been living here for quite sometime. He is insecure and almost seems like lacking an organ of communication. The character of Arun has been underplayed (thank God for that), and it could have been absolutely easy to give in to the stardom of Aamir Khan – the superstar. And I applaud Kiran Rao to have shown that she’s got the balls  to have not done that.

And then, there is the Outsider – Shai (Monica Dogra), an NRI, investment banker on a sabbatical, roaming around the city with her DSLR documenting everything in her captured frames and finding solitude in the chaos of the city. Her fascination with the city is what fascinates most of us about visiting any new big cities – the two faces of any city – the glamour and the filth. She wants to know both. What will we be as humans if there wasn’t that insatiable feeling of curiosity? And then Shai meets Arun at an art exhibition. Another pleasant surprise is how Arun is not being portrayed as the heroic male protagonist who cannot do any wrong. Arun here is as flawed as human can be. He easily gives into a one night stand and acts like a jerk the morning after. Shai on the other hand, is the ‘aaj ki naari’. She’s brave, and strong and doesn’t shy away from calling Arun an asshole for his behaviour.

And then, there’s Munna (Prateik Babbar).He is probably the Swiss knife of the movie – almost overused to an extent at some instances. The boy can wash, deliver, kill rats and pose in front of the camera. He dreams of becoming big in show-business  one day, and through Munna’s story, we get to know of the other side of Mumbai. That rain which washes the window panes and makes us all romanticise about it, the same rain drips through the holes on Munna’s roof and wets his bed. A deeper character study of how, we Indians seem to divide our classes. This is brilliantly shown in a scene when Shai asks her Bai to get a cup of tea for Munna, and the Bai serves Munna tea in an ordinary glass (supposedly fit to his class). Bravo Miss Rao!

The last character completing the circuit only appears through a series of video-taped messages. Yasmin (Kriti Malhotra, she was in season 1 of MTV Roadies) is a newly wed woman who has left her ‘maika’ in UP to live with her husband in Mumbai. Her excitement of moving to a big city, and her zeal to capture the world that surrounds her and narrate it to her bhai-jaan. Without giving much away, may I mention that Yasmin’s character and Kriti’s portrayal of it is the strongest point of the entire movie. Her innocence and wide-eyed gaze filled with awe for the city is pure genius and both the actress and the director deserve a pat on their back for this. It is through Yasmin’s plot, that we almost enter into a different dimension and are exposed to some other aspects of modern day lives – where Bai’s have daughters who recite Tennyson and where the rush of the morning routine is reflected in the flavour of the lunch tiffin.

Last but not the least, special kudos to the technical team of Dhobi Ghat to have painted an epic canvas of the city of Mumbai. Thank you Mr.Tushar Kanti Ray for letting the sun shine through the skyscrapers under construction. Thank you for letting the rain wash the gullies and reminding me of the glitter of Eid in Mohammed Ali market. Thank you for letting the waves of Chowpatty rise and wash the writings on the sand and thanks for the array of white shirts at Dhobi Ghat. Thanks for everything. And thank you Kiran Rao. You are so besotted by this city, aren’t you? Like you, so am I now.

I am not going to do any sort of gimmicky GIF magic to state how awful this movie is. Neither am I going to create smart lined Facebook memes for this one. This review of Action Replayy is going to be a full on verbal bashing in the very old school way of ‘gaaligaloch’. So for the overtly sensitive and the easily offended – stay the fuck out of this. For the rest who are still reading, thank you and I hope that you can relate to my utter frustration and disappointment at Vipul Amrutlal Shah’s abomination aka ‘Action Replayy’. Point to be noted – funny spellings of movie titles which are numerologically manipulated by the likes of Sunita Melon and Bejaan Pantiwallah do not always ensure success. Actually, they never do. And I hope these numerologists change their names to the ones I just suggested.

To begin with – the Director.
Vipul Amrutlal Shah’s filmography boasts of a smart thriller (Aankhen), a dumbed down comedy which works (Waqt), and an NRI movie which I found was above average (Namastey London). And then London Dreams happened. This was where 40 something uncles put on facelift cream, wore earrings, and sang Hindi pop songs and Hanuman Chalisa touring Europe to packed stadiums. There was a lady who believed in her cheerleading career, and well – if you want to know what I felt about the movie, you can read this.

When I got hold of the first publicity pictures of Action Replayy, it got me super excited for reasons more than one. Firstly, it was set in a retro era of Bollywood which I love the most. I had consciously kept myself distant from the music trailers and any of the movie’s plot details.But I couldn’t escape people discussing about how this was adapted from a Gujrati play, which is a shameless rip off from Back To The Future. All of these factors left me bamboozled, and I really did not know what to expect. The dude in the director’s chair is no stranger to the whole Bolywood blockbuster routine. How wrong was I? Only if the movie was half as good as the posters.

The effervescence and element of enjoyment required for a wink wink retro movie is just not there. The movie begins with Bunty showing fear of marriage because his parents have a miserable marital relationship. Bunty’s girlfriend Tanya has a genius grandad (Randhir Kapoor in a dwarfed cameo, quite conveniently named Anthony Gonsalves) who has built a time machine. Bunty devices a plan to fix the troubled marriage of his parents and outsmarts the scientist to go back in the past. And so we begin, the biggest annoying marathon ever to be witnessed in Indian cinema. If you thought London Dreams was appalling, Action Replayy takes it to a whole new dimension of duisgusting. I’d better list down my list of annoyances.

Bunty’s parents – Kishan/Kitchen Kumar (Akshay, more like Yuckshay) and Mala (Aishwarya Rai) are shown as their grown up selves after a 20 years of marriage. So, considering they are like 30s (at the most) when they got married, what the fuck did they smoke to end up looking like that. Or did the makeup guy turn up high on some drug? These people (all of them) have the most horrendous makeup in the history of Bollywood – and this includes all the Ramsay movies. As Raja Sen rightly pointed out, the old versions seem to have faces made of leather. And Aish couldn’t have been made to look bad, so she has some grey streaks to indicate her age.

The dialogues are so dull and have no amount of humour stuck on it. For a light hearted , masala movie, the dialogue seems like to have been written by someone who wasn’t paid to do his job. e.g. Bunty meets Anthony Gonsalves for the first time and says – Do all scientists get their haircut in the same salon? Ha Ha Bloody Ha! The whole Bunty giving his Dad sex ed made me squirm so hard.

The ensemble cast is completely bollocks.

• Om Puri as Akshay’s father has only one line throughout the movie – Gadha.
• Kirron Kher is a chorus singer at All India Radio, and is against love marriage. And most importantly, she is a born bully.
• Rajpal Yadav is neither funny, nor existent. His only line – Sab Kaam Main Hi Karoo was unnecessary, unwanted and useless.
• Ranvijay as the antagonist cool disco dancing dude who can sing in Male and Female voices is a wasted opportunity. He bullies the ‘to-be-Hero’ and could have been written much more smartly. There are definite shades of Biff here, but all of that is lost in stupid gags of taking off Pyjama and shirts and loathsome 70′s wigs.

Why do we love Back to the Future? Because even with its silly logic of time travel enabled by the Flux Capacitor generating 1.2 gigawatts and requiring the Delorean at 88 miles per hour, we were easily made to believe in it by the awesome Doc. There is no such scifi detail here and no one gives a single fuck about it. The character of Doc in BTTF, is here translated to Anthony Gonsalves being portrayed by Radhir Kapoor in a cheapo wig with a ponytail. He starts speaking of the sense of vision due to light being reflected to us from objects. Some of these objects, like Alpha Centauri, are light years away, so the image we see is actually a few years old. Good point. And….?? And then Tanya rambles on about the importance of marriage. Sab SciFi ka chaupat!!!

Bunty – VJ Aditya , who’s only contribution in this whole movie is that afro. No, he’s got more. He’s wearing geeky tees sporting Master Yoda and what not. He’s matchmaking his bunny-toothed Dad with the cynical street kaminee Mala. He is playing Guru Vidyapathi to his Besura Bhola Dad by playbacking his songs. And you know what, he is quite conveniently allowed to mingle with by these people, who were strangers just an hour ago. You get the point? Were people in the 70′s this easy?

Speaking of 70′s Bombay – is it only meant to be Victoria Terminus station? The streets are wide and empty, and every girl on the street is dressed in a tight kurti aping the fashion of Leena Chandavarkar. And the dudes have Rajesh Khanna hair, Bell Bottoms and Polka dotted shirts. The cinemas are then showing Julie and the canteens are playing Aap Ki Kasam. Seems like some one was IMDbing. This is definitely not a low budget work – you can tell by the colours leaping out of each frame. Looks like a unicorn vomitted double rainbows all over the movie. And oh, just so that you should credit the research team, Bunty keeps mentioning various 70′s related trivia deliberately – such as the Emergency and Sholay. Ha!

Finally, since it’s a musical comedy set in the 70′s, the music should be awesome, innit? You couldn’t be more wrong. Pritam sounds very uninspired and this could be one of his laziest work. The whole ‘competition’ segment (which seems like a nod to Hum Kisi Se Kum Nahi) is so rubbish and so third class. I don’t have anything positive to say about this movie. Oh may be just one thing. Aishwarya Rai playing her mean self is spot on. Maybe for the first time, she has found her niche.

Avoid this like the plague. If you are expecting a Diwali blockbuster, I’d rather suggest you to watch Om Shanti Om again which was a riot of colours, and whole lotta awesomeness. This movie is such a wasted opportunity and one can only hope that this was made by Farah Khan.