When the world is busy fighting the evils of capitalism and the double-faced monsters of austerity, Viacom 18 and Endemol India have conjured up this much bigger evil of unleashing the Hydra version of Bollywood’s biggest slut – Shakti ‘Aaoo’ Kapoor, and has given him 11 “laundiyas” to play with. If you think that with that comment, I just objectified women, then you should check out how Colors is actually promoting it. Ladies and Gentlemen, quite against our initial apprehensive thought that this reality TV series would make it to its 5th incarnation, Bigg Boss Season 5 is here. And with national media covering every move, there is just no escaping this absolutely unnecessary and unwanted television show. Producers are just happy creating more TRP by means of the outrageous characterisation of the “Reality TV” versions of these “has-been” and “wannabe” celebs. And we as a nation, are happy to keep tuning in, no matter how much we continue to despise it.
Although I can’t believe that I am actually writing about something I absolutely hate, I have to keep reminding myself that this is for the greater good of stopping as many people as I can from watching this show. So, if you care to survive through this shit-storm, then hit the jump as we discuss through the Season premiére of Big Boss Season 5.
Amidst the flurry of reality TV shows occupying prime-time TV space on Indian channels, there appears one show which even before airing its first episode, claims to be the World’s Biggest Dance show (and hence throwing away the likes of So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars and all the other dance shows right into the municipality drains of Dharavi ). This show is called ‘Just Dance’ and stars Hrithik Roshan as the star judge who is nick-named ‘The God of Dance’ in almost every frame possible. The hysteria and the fandom images are randomly strewn all over the place and Hrithik mania seems to be the fever of the nation. By the looks of it, feels like Kaho Naa Pyar Hai is re-releasing or we are all back to 2000 ( the year when Kaho Naa Pyar Hai was released, yes its 11 years old). So, a bit of a reality check here is very much required. It is indeed 2011 and we have come a long way since KNPH. Hrithik has long discarded the hearthrob status and seen his decline in many unfavourable movies. But still somehow he managed to wring out a Rs. 2 crore per episode deal with Star Plus for ‘Just Dance’. The first impression definitely is that this ‘Reality TV’ show is nothing less than a melodramatic, fluffy, saccharine scripted Bollywood fare.
Now I am not a connoisseur of Reality TV shows and neither am I a well read critic. But I certainly can spot the shitty stain on my TV screen. Just so that I do not wander off from my points, here’s a systematically created list of problems that I have with this show - Just Dance.
1. Hrithik = God of Dance ( Bitch, please! )
Some of you might know of this that I am right now on a holiday back home. Home means apna des, India. Specifically for me, it is Silchar, Assam, where the grass is still green and not quite polluted by the carbon monoxide in the air, and the roads are not so pretty. Vacation means feasting on the various dishes that I have been deprived of since my last visit (which was last year), sleeping at odd hours, meeting relatives, names of whom I don’t remember or I just don’t care to do so, and finally watching shitty television.
The state of the Indian television has declined drastically over the last few years, and I don’t feel any sort of apprehension in declaring that it needs a radical change in the form of entertainment that is being produced to cater to audiences. While Indian cinema has grown by leaps and bounds in producing not only popcorn and candyfloss entertainers (even though most have the same recycled storylines), but also independent and original storylines, Indian television seems to be stuck in the bottom of a black hole whose gravity has sucked out all its creativity, and all that is left is the cud for all its viewers to chew on and on. Let me bring to your attention these points.
I saw this idea at a post by my good friend Lee at Quit Your Day Job and I couldn’t resist the idea of doing it on my blog. Now we all know by now that I love Television. I love it so much that someday I might even marry it. Although, there are speculations of a divorce between me and Live TV [ which I only watch in case I am liveblogging reality TV shows like X Factor or BGT], yet even while watching recorded Telly, the relation between me and the telly is quite strong. And it has been so for the last ‘I-donno-how-many’ years.
Let’s cut to the chase and explain the concept of this post. I will be enlisting all the US,UK, Aussie etc. TV shows below[not Indian telly basically] that I have seen. The list template was provided by Lee, but it still has some shows to be added. So there are some additions.
- Bold all of the following TV shows which you’ve ever seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime.
- Italicize a show if you’re positive you’ve seen every episode of it.
- Highlight new additions with an Underline.
Coolio. So, here we go. Hit the Jump to be overwhelmed by the sheer length of Telly addiction. Now I know where I missed all my lectures
[BTW, please don't judge me. Yes, I do have a life, and a job, and I don't sit at home, on a smelly leather couch, drinking beer for lunch. KTHXBYE!]