January has been very rewarding in terms of providing us trending hashtags to tweet about. From #Agneepath, to #Filmfare, to #SlapGate. For the uninitiated, SRK, in the wee hours of the celebration party of Agneepath (hosted by Sanjay Dutt), performed a slapasoarus act on Farah Khan’s husband, Shirish Kunder. Apparently, the long haired editor had it coming (as the SRK fans would tell ya!), because of his open criticism of Ra.One on twitter.
Whether you belong to the #TeamSRK, or #TeamFarah, these two sets do not intersect any more (i.e. no common elements anymore – c’mon, it’s basic arithmetic). Here is a deconstruction of the events that happened, according to unofficial sources:-
Warning: All events depicted below are fictitious, and are in no way, related to any event of the past, present or future. We come from another timeline and dimension altogether – known as Desi-Funkistan. The author will NOT entertain any threats, lawsuits or hate-mails, as he cannot read any language on Earth. This post is the result of a very highly sophisticated Fun-English translator.
OKS Exclusive: Unofficial Footage of SRK hitting SK
Here’s an overheard conversation from the infamous party
(All times are in IST)
3:00 am:- After the Filmfare awards, people at the party. Amongst them, a certain Mr.Kunder, under the influence of daaru
P.S. Only official photo available of Shirish Kunder
(Haven’t you seen Agneepath?)
3:05 am:- His threshold of tolerance being challenged,
SRK makes a comeback comment.
3:17 am:- Mr. Kunder, seems to be late with his reactions
3:17:55 am:- SRK is exceptionally fast with his replies
3:20 am:- SK gives his best shot at comeback
3:25 am:- Host Sanju Baba aka Kancha, on an overdose of Red Bull,
makes an entry.
What happened after that is a bigger mystery than big foot, or unicorns. But according to host, Sanju Baba’s (who was on an overdose of Red Bull) witness statement, the following incident happened. [Re-enacted by professional look-alikes] Viewer discretion is advised.
3:30 am - Other people at the party [Obligatory use of rage faces]
….After the media started reporting in a frenzy..
SRK slapped, hit, abused SK with all the masala…
A few hours later… on twitter….
… A few more hours later on twitter …
2:pm GMT. i.e. 7:30 pm IST: Meanwhile at the OneKnightStands HQ
12:pm Next Morning – The Meme is posted. And OKS has second thoughts
But then…
FIN.
______________________________________________________
[Rage Comics made by Ragemaker. GIF courtesy: Bollypop]
P.S. The author does not take any responsibility for the accuracy of the above images. The actual incident happened at around 4:15 am IST, a full hour before the above mentioned events. This is a work of fiction, and not meant to malign any characters/human beings – living, dead or virtual. All that has already been done by #SlapGate on twitter.
Issued in public interest, and also due to fear of being sued by Red Chillies.
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