I know I am late to the party. But this was too awesome not to blog about. Shahid Kapoor performed a dancing tribute to a medley of MJ hits at the Filmfare Awards show. Now, it goes without saying that MJ is worshipped all across the world, and India and Bollywood included is no exception. And I think that Filmfare just pwned this year’s boring Oscars production [ Street dance with Best Original Score nominations - seriously WTF? ] with this routine. Well, although Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin are million times better than the irritating duo of Saif n SRK.

Anywho, back to the MJ tribute dance routine. What I loved about the routine was that it was what it was meant to be. A simple fan of Michael Jackson dancing the way MJ showed us how to. It did start with a very Bollywood SRk-stretched arms out – trick as Shahid descends from nowhere to the stage – yeah yeah, he was on wires.

Catch the awesome video after the jump, and also the awesome segments screens after the jump.

Section 0: The Way You Make Me Feel.

Now, this is my favourite of all MJ songs. And it was great to see and hear this being featured in the medley as sort of a preface to the whole routine. The shadow sequence is of course signature MJ. And I loves it.

Section 1: Thriller.

Now we all love this. This has been performed like a gazillion times in weddings, in prisons, on talent shows and on Youtube’s most embarrassing moments home videos, and of course by Chiranjeevi Anna as well. But it never ceases to be awesome. And Shahid’s dance was just that – awesome. What annoys me is that how unimpressed the entire filmi junta look. Or is the editor’s fault to have joined in wrong sections in the video. Damn, can’t even verify coz Filmfare is never LIVE. Which raises another question in my mind, when will we have a Live FILM Awards show ever in India? [Except for the National Awards ]

Section 2: Scream.

I am guessing this was included after they saw Janet perform at last year’s VMA. Yeah, all that monitors in the back, and Shahid dancing in the front. But whatever, I love Scream -the song and the video. Especially the video. It is so sci fi, so stylish, and it has “EXPENSIVE” written all over it. And also cleared my confusion regarding Janet and Michael being the same person

Yes, Shahid’s Scream performance was just ok I guess. But then, it was a short segment and it was all solo. Now he’s no Janet. But do notice how excited Hrithik gets by the end of this section.

Section 3: Dangerous.

This is the recreation of one of the most watched dance video – MJ’s 1995 MTV VMA performance on Dangerous. And each time someone else does it, you can’t help but look at it with awe and get inspired to may be give it a go, and marvel at the genius that was MJ. The gangster firing, the explosions, the yelling of “Dangerous… Dangerous” and beat-perfect coat sleeves rubbing – that’s what makes it so awesome.

And I love it. And oh, the Smooth Criminal mix is taken out. You know why? Coz, Shahid is doing it separately in a different section altogether. Woohooo!!

Section 4: Annie are you ok? Smooth Criminal

My favourite MJ video of all time. And no, not even Kanye West can stop me this time. Love the dance of course. And mostly love what happens in the end with Hrithik and Kajol shouting and screaming.

Whereas the rest of the industry yawns. Have a look at Dips and Bips. Seriously, if this does not excite them, I don’t know what else will.

But all of it doesn’t matter. At the end of Smooth Criminal, Shahid gives a kickass moonwalk and yeah, watch out for this.

So what did you think about the video? Lemme hear your thoughts. Go shout it out in the comments section below. Cheerio!

]]> http://www.oneknightstands.net/shahid-kapoors-tribute-to-mj-filmfare/feed/ 0 http://www.oneknightstands.net/shashi-kapoor-the-man-the-myth-the-legend/ http://www.oneknightstands.net/shashi-kapoor-the-man-the-myth-the-legend/#comments Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:20:24 +0000 Sujoy http://www.oneknightstands.net/?p=1368

Filmfare Awards was recently aired on Telly. And apart from the usual fart jokes that floated around with SRK and Saif in the hosting shoes, the highest point of this year’s show was the Lifetime Achievement Award honoured to none other than Balbir Raj Kapoor or as we popularly know him – Shashi Kapoor.

Now, I am a big fan of Shashi jee. But when it comes to fandom, I am miles away from it, considering the existence of fangirls such as Beth whose Shashi fandom [ Beth's house of Shashi ], can give the Twilight Tweens a run for their money. But the body of work that Shashi Kapoor has done over his life speaks for itself. From commercial to international cinema to producing some of the best of Indian cinema, Shashi Kapoor adds up to one word – Uncompromising. While his peers and contemporaries gave in to the Ooty revolution and Ketchup bloodshed, Shashi Kapoor gave us Utsav, New Delhi Times, Junoon and 36 Chowringee Lane. Yes, he gave us Ajooba as well, but then, that is a classic too in a whole another level [and I know most of you'd agree].

Filmfare’s lovely Lifetime Achievement Award this year couldn’t have been more justified. And I couldn’t resist posting a whole post dedicated to the Awesome Shashi Kapoor. So without any further ado, I give to you the lovely screencaps I managed to pull from the Filmfare montage piece.  [ Go hit the jump to see the awesome pics ].

Born in 1938, to the Kapoor family from Calcutta, Balbir Raj Kapoor was embraced by the Indian film industry at the tender age of 12.

1948 and 1951 saw him play the younger version of Raj Kapoor’s character in Aag and Aawara respectively.

Jab Jab Phool Khile – who doesn’t remember Pardesiyo se Naa Ankhiya Milaana, and of course – Humko Tumpe Pyaar Aaya.

Amongst commercially successful roles in movies such as Deewar, Sharmilee, Roti Kapda Aur Makaan, Aa Gale Lag Jaa, Kabhi Kabhie, and many others, Shashi Kapoor also gave us one of his most unconventional roles and spellbounding performance as Javed Khan in Junoon

And of course, his collaboration with Merchant Ivory productions is loved all over. My personal favourite – Shakespeare Wallah

Here seen with Shammi Kapoor and Dharamendra.

In 1958, Shashi Kapoor married English theatre actress – Jennifer Kendal, and they acted together in numerous Merchant Ivory productions. With the setting up of his own film production company Film Vala in 1980, Shashi Kapoor produced many critically acclaimed movies such as Kalyug, Utsav, 36 Chowringee Lane [starring his wife Jennifer]

His three children – Karan, Kunal and Sanjana have been associated with films, advertising, and theatre.

Shashi Kapoor and his daughter Sanjana Kapoor have played the major role in keeping Prithvi theatre alive. One of the oldest theatres in Mumbai, Prithvi theatre, named after Shashi Kapoor’s father – Prithvi Raj Kapoor, ran from 1944 to 1960. It was re-opened in 1978 by Shashi Kapoor and his wife Jennifer and in 1993, the Prithvi Theatre company was established and is now run by Sanjana Kapoor.

Salute to the Actor

Salute to the Filmmaker

Salute to the Man

This is what Shammi Kapoor had to say in the Filmfare montage:
He’s done a great job all his life. He’s been doing some things which everyone should be proud of. I’m mighty proud of you. God Bless Sasha. *Mwaa*

***** APPLAUSE *****

This is such an emotional moment. I know it for sure that my mum must have seen this, and she must’ve been in tears [ and so was I ].

Shashi jee receiving the Filmfare Lifetime Achievement Award – It must’ve got so nostalgic. The memories of the years in the Hindi film industry.

Someone stop Yashraj from speaking.. in English and in Hindi. He mumbles, and he mumbles so fast.

***** APPLAUSE *****

P.S. Is that Kunal Kapoor , Shashi jee’s son, [ I think I have seen him in just one movie – 1982 – Vijeta directed by Govind Nihalani? Any idea?

And to end the post, let’s end it on a happy note by giving you a dosage of the Happy Shashi memories.

Courtesy Beth: Multi-Color Shashi

Immortal Bromance – Shashitabh

And the SHAANdar Jodi – yes, Shashitabh again!

SHASHI KAPOOR, the Legend Lives on…

Amongst other rhyming lines that Shah Rukh Khan’s Rizvan Khan [ K..khan...from the epiglotis] speaks at important moments across the film, is the one cited above. He is a guy suffering from a certain form of autism, born in Bombay and who goes ahead to marry a single mother – Mandira Rathod [Kajol ]. The fairy-tale continues until Al-Qaida strikes the twin towers, and as Rizvan’s voice-over tells us – world history gets divided into BC, AD and 9/11. Now, Bollywood has churned out some similar half-baked shit in the last couple of months or so. The brown bread entertainer – New York and the crazy accent carrying Om Puri and Kirron Kher love extravaganza – Kurbaan. Oh noes, Kurbaan was supposed to be the movie with the Kareena backless scene. Sorry KJo, I can’t still get over with that funny accent of Kirron Mata. My Name Is Khan tries to get it right from the scratch. It builds up to it, with a perfect setting, a perfect background and then just goes mental. Completely ballistic in a very wrong way. It felt like KJo started this movie as he said – “I was fed up with Bollywood“. By that he meant, he was fed up with the same song-dance routine, the same high ceilings with polished Swarovski crystal chandeliers, Sharmishta Roy art-direction and Manish Malhotra assisting him in styling. And oh, the Sagai, Shaadi, Post Shaadi, Karva Chauth routine. Yes, KJo did seem a bit grown up. But I think he missed his own daal-roti so much, and hence, goes back to the old as the hills  formula – It’s all about loving your parents/ family /neighbour . And he does it while he chews upon as much cheese as the Swiss can manufacture in a year, with as many stereotypical references as possible.

I have some major problems with the movie which makes me question what the likes of Mahapurush – Taran Adarsh jee and Divya Naari – Nikhat Kazmi could see in it to rate it 4.5 star out of 5 and 5 on 5 respectively. But before I dive deeply into the problems, lemme scrape out the good stuff for ya!!

Kajol…Main Sadke Java…!!

Even with a close up of her eyes, with the emerging signs of ageing, there is no doubt about her beauty, screen presence and her awesomeness as a whole. She can do the Bhangra, to the “Mere Aankho ka Taara, Mere Budhhaape ka Sahara” and even make me believe that she’s at heart a bit of a geek. Oh c’mon, didn’t you notice? She quotes Einstein, she bloody knows quite a lot about SF and definitely about the trams being introduced in 1873 in SF and in Kolkata. Geeks #ftw!!!
And above all, she’s the coolest mother one could ask for. She defines Yummy Mummy.

Zarina Wahab.

It’s been ages since we saw her.  Now with her hubby Aditya Pancholi making a scarfaced comeback in Striker, we can only expect good things from her as well. And she doesn’t disappoint us a bit. Big thanks to the casting team for not taking in the other Dharma favorites – Kirron Kher of Maa Da Ladla fame, Sexy Granny Farida Jalal and lastly Rifat Bee – Himani Shivpuri. I can’t really vocalise why I remember her performance so much. Was it her effortless portrayal of a mother’s undying love for her special son? Was it the spark in her eye which gleams as soon as she starts talking about her Rizzu? Or was it simply her motherly advice which comprises of a simple lesson – There are only two types of people in this world – Good and Bad. I think it was all of it. [ I had a bit of a Krantiveer flashback when I saw the - Hindu Kaun, Musalmaan Kaun ]

Now with the long list of my problem with the movie.

It is bloody Stereotypical.

WHYYYYY??? KAIKOOO!!! [ I wish I could do a Naseeruddin Shah impression while asking this question ] WHYYYY??

The premise is serious stuff. The environment that envelopes this movie is damn serious. Then why layer it with all sorts of bloody non-sense stereotypes. Vinay Pathak as Jitesh, the Gujju Motel owner. You see what I am talking about? Yeah, it does not end there.

The whole SRK = God , I mean Mr. Know-It-All, being a cross between John ‘Beautiful Mind’ Nash and Forrest fucking Gump gives me the allergies. He repairs everything. He is miles ahead of Rancho you see. From pressure cooker to automobiles, he can fix ‘em in a chutki. He is a walking encyclopedia and blurts out the history of the bloodline of his Parsi teacher Mr.Wadia. We get it…he’s a bloody genius. Or as Ammee sez: “Bada Tez hai mera Rizzu”. He can’t make a pressure controlled suction pump from a vacuum cleaner, but yes, he can definitely pump out water using a connecting rod, a cycle and some spare pipes. We fucking get it – he is a bloody genius and he’s definitely growing up to become like Sharukh Khan.

In a politically correct world, where we tend to be extra careful about what we say about disability and stuff, I say fuck it. I didn’t like Black. Yes, I’ll say that again. It was a scream fest for me. Big B and Rani and a kid who should never be left in a dark room, all pulling hair, exclaiming at the highest hormonal level possible. SRK’s portrayal of an autistic guy leaves me lukewarm. He neither manages to charm me with his smartness or geeky nature, nor does he make it compelling enough to make me sympathise with him. And definitely not laugh with him at how he sees life. There are lines built into the script which tries hard to show the Forrest Gump in Rizvan; lines like -

Aao Rizvan, Apna Hi Ghar Samjho… Kaise Samjhu, Jab Mera Ghar Nahi hai to..

Log Kehte Kuch Aur Hai, Sochte Kuch aur hai..

[Translation: Welcome Rizvan, Think it as your own house... How should I think so, when it is not mine..

People are strange; they say something, and think of something else]

But these are far too less to bring out the charm in Rizvan’s character.

And seriously, KJO cannot let go his cheese. In a very Forrest Gump-ish fashion, Rizvan sets out on his journey to meet the POTUS [ President of the US]. This takes him from SF to New Mexico to Georgia, where he meets Mama Jenny and her son – Funny Hair Joe.

Stereotype 2 - what the fuck is this era? Georgia seems like a small town set during the Goldrush. Mama Jenny is an all loving, hugging, cooking, church going Mama. And lil Joe – he’ll grow up to be an R&B legend. You hear that Blues in the background, and his fucking’ lungs belting falsetto on “We Shall Overcome”. Man he was good!! He even overcame SRK’s rendition of Hum Honge Kamyaab. Lil Joe is meant to go to American Idol when he turns 16. And wtf was SRK doing, I mean Rizvan Khan doing? Addressing an English-speaking crowd on a Sunday church gathering in Hindi. Yeah that makes complete Khan-sense!!

Stereotype 3 - SRK steps into a University Islamic social gathering for his regular Namaaz, and he quite conveniently finds Dr. Faisal Rahman preaching the message of Allah. Kill me.. Kill me NOW. And then, SRK in his Rizvan-Avatar gives the Sattar minute-version of MNIK. Dude, wo Shaitaan Tha. Huaahahahahaha!!! You’re so pwned. You know what is more lame than that? Rizvan’s brother reporting live on PBC News about Faisal Rahman, so bloody easily.

Stereotype 4 - Hackers are fat, bearded anti-social, caffeine-junkies living in a dark dorm, but still connected with their Gujju roots. Gimme a break!!

Stereotype 5 - Every detained person in the US has to go through freezing conditions and is then subjected to hot temperature. And you know what, that search scene in the movie’s inital 5 minutes, why did it remind me of a similar real-life incident which happened with a dude who looked exactly like Rizwan. His name was also Khan.

One of the biggest blunders I think was the overambitious nature of the movie. It sets out being a story about a man meeting the POTUS to give a message. And it wanders off to becoming a humanitarian film about Saving the Hurricane struck people on the Southern Coast. And wtf ? SRK = GOD again. Where no US troops and rescue missions; even where Brangelina and Bono can’t reach, SRK and his chamche from PBC and Bhaijaan and Bhabijaan help rescue the peeps. With cameos from every possible Indian News channel reporters including Barkha Dutt speaking in Hindi, what was up with that? And please do not get me started with the two President dummies.

I can just go on and on with this. Stuff like SRK being a naughty peeping tom recording on a handycam, flashing Reebok shoes, transforming from a person with intimacy issues to a Sex Guru by just reading a Dummies book and of course scheduling his sexy time [say that once more..Sexy Time in a Borat voice]. And you know what, I did not dislike the movie as much when I started this post. But now having written so much about what bugged me, I think I dislike it more, and then some more.

You know KJo, there are two types of movies – Good movies which are Good. Bad movies – which are Bad. MNIK swings more towards being Bad, but who the fuck cares. It’s already bringing in the moola innit!

Striker sets out to achieve a lot in its limited canvas of 2 hours and 7 minutes. It shuffles through two different timelines – the Bombay of the 80s and then the infamous ‘December 1992′. Siddharth as Surya is a Bombay bred n brought up lad, who moved to Malvani in his childhood along with his elder brother, sister Devi and parents [ Rajendra Gupta 'member Chandrakanta's Pt. Jagannath and Seema 'Bandit Queen' Biswas ]. Life in the underbelly is a constant struggle. And if Slumdog Millionaire tried to higlight it in a way what the critics call it as ‘poverty porn’, Striker does it in excruciating details. From the dark bylanes to the darker money churning Seths, the hustle and bustle of the Local train to even the brown and battered vests, Striker strikes the right chords. After all it’s a game. And it suceeds in achieving what it set out for, more or less.

Before I talk about the film, let me emphasise on this point that this is not a sports movie of an underdog’s triumph. Although there is a major chunk of the movie spent in dark rooms with lamp shades glowing over Carrom boards, this movie is more about Surya as the Striker, one who suffers at every stage and struggles through each and every point of his life- from having a failed love life to getting fooled by a fake Dubai transportation gang [ aptly named Gul Gulshan Gulfam - awesome connection - remember the 80s TV show on DD with Parikshit Sahni on Kashmiri Houseboats on Dal Lake..those were the days..sigh!] Surya grows up learning Carrom from his elder brother, and in different situations has to come back to the game. The game scenes are a bit repetitive, but coupled with the background score, it does succeed in keeping the tension alive. But more than anything which keeps the movie rolling is its eye for detail. And the filmmaker Chandan Arora deserves credit for it.

From chuckle worthy references of Govinda-Kimi Katkar as Superman-Spiderwoman in Dariya Dil, to the unapologetic mumbaiya language, and even references to Rajeev Gandhi – Striker has enough room for us all to chew upon. And similar to Kaminey, the awesomeness here is in the details [ I know I know, I am chewing the cud a bit too much ]. The fascination with Dubai for a fast-route to prosperity, absense of mobiles, and even Carrom as a game not limited to juice-peevanu Tikras is all reminiscient of the 80s and early 90s. Tell me, who plays Carrom anymore in the age of post Cricket match-fixing and Football betting. And of course, references to the immortal Sholay always wins extra brownie points from me
Aditya Pancholi’s scarfaced Jaleel Bhai is a bit confusing. The man has no sense of profit n loss. He is a bit of a maniac himself betting left, right and centre. C’mon dude, even the 8 year old sitting in a cinema hall in Malvani right now knows that the hero will win. So, don’t mess with him. Anupam Sir is quite competent in his limited role. Nothing bad about it, but neither overpowering – still, no complaints.

Sidhharth as Surya gives a credible performance. He emotes effortlessly, and his frustration and angst comes across easily. And it is very easy to take pity on such a character who suffers through a lot. Unlike Dev Patel’s Jamal, Surya is not focussed about achieving something. All the events in his life are driven by the circumstances that surround him. And tbh, it is a fresh change to see Bollywood heroes not saving the world before and after shower. Heck, in this movie, the hero does not even shower, sleeps in a boat. Although I have a huge problem with the rape attempt and his adopted method to undo the harm by marrying her. The problem is with the girl agreeing to get married to him. Perhaps she did like him before to agree to it. Anywho, Surya even admits that his climactic act wasn’t heroic at all. And then he uses a big ass iron striker .. so much for symbolism Jeeyo Raja!!!

Vidya as Siddhart’s elder sister Devi is a breeze to watch. Chak De Vidya

Of course, this review is incomplete without mentioning the star of the movie – Ankur Vikal as Zaid [ we saw him last as Mamman in Slumdog ]. This man was born to do this role. His body language, the gleam in his drugged eyes, and absolutely high grin – all adds up to a memorable performance. His colorful range of shirts, uncombed, uncut hair and maniac behaviour is second to none. I know Bhope Bhau didn’t win any awards. But if Zaid doesn’t win anything next year, I’ll disown all them awards.

To sum it up, Striker is a win win for me. I cannot say that this is a must watch or not [its for you to decide], but for cinephiles who get a bit high by picking up the clues scene by scene, this is quite an unmissable one. And I know, you are on that seekbar yourself on Youtube. Cheers!

P.S. I am still waving as I hit this publish button, discussing the movie in real time while my fellow bloggers are watching the movie. Awesome #strikerwatchalong. More updates on the wave in an upcoming post.

Now this is a first. The power of social networking and the Web 2.0 is taking Bollywood by storm- with celebrities tweeting and movie publicities and marketing campaigns running through Facebook pages. But the new Studio 18 movie – Striker takes it to a whole another level.

The movie premieres on Feb 5th in India in theatres. But, the worldwide release will be on YouTube. As far as my knowledge goes, this is a first for a major Bollywood production, and apart from Sundance indies, we haven’t seen anything like this before even from Hollywood. Except for the US [where viewing the movie will cost 5$], viewing this movie on YouTube will be free [MUFT MUFT MUFT]

The movie will be screened here [ Studio 18's YouTube channel ]. There is a lot more on the channel – from exclusive footage of making of the movie, to Siddharth – the lead actor giving us reasons to watch the movie. There’s more to it – they have an iPhone app – a Striker version of the carrom game Now that’s another first.

So, what’s this #strikerwatchalong?

All across the world, awesome Bolly lovahs are coming together to watch this movie simultaneously, on Feb 7th, 6pm GMT and will also be group-chatting about the same on Google wave. Exciting stuff indeed.

The idea of the group chat wave for #StrikerWatchAlong was initiated by Beth and thanks to her, there are already 24 people who have joined the Wave, and still counting. It’s so awesome to see people from Abhu Dhabi to Australia to Dubai to London to Chicago to Germany.. you get it.

And if you feel like joining, just add your Google wave ID in the comments section below.

See you on the 7th awesome peeps.

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Some stuff about #StrikerWatchAlong on Beth’s blog.

Striker watchalong.

Update on Striker watchalong

Of course the way to start this is with our house favorite: Kuch Kuch Hota Hai… or should we say?

Or????… ‘Inspired’ by Family Guy’s “Something Something Something Dark Side”…

And for the Meme that you’ve been waiting for, here it is:

Hindi Gyaan: Kuch Kuch Hota Hai in Hindi means – Something Something is Happening [ a metaphor for Love]

Bah! Ek Rahen Veer

We are back with the concluding part of the Movie Review. There was no reason to spread this across two posts other than my laziness. Trust me when I say that. I am not capitalising the interest in Veer to make it a blog merchandise kinda shit. I am not corporate minded. Actually, that’s not true, I am a bit. Forgive me, let’s get back to the post.

TAKE 2, SHOT 1.. ACTION

Yeah, so that Jaggu Dada in the black outfit calls himself the Yuvraj of Madhavgarh. He somewhat reminds me of the drunkard Chunni Lal and everytime I talk to him, I get the intuition that he might spit out the words – Hey Bidhhu!! any moment. Anywho, so he betrayed us, and killed lots of our Pindhari bros. And I cut his arm. That was so awesome Veera.

ANYWHO!!! Yeah, so now I have the eyeliner in place.

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I’m gonna rob that lady’s brooch just to throw it back. Hang on, I’m gonna do it in Sholay style which co-incidentally my Bilogical Dadde had written.

And I’m gona win her heart, I mean the princesses.
And you know what, while doing so, I am gonna fly through the coaches,split my thunder thighs and still maintain my Ninja discreet look and my eyeliner intact.

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*Smitten*

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Much more occurin’ after the Jump. And there’s the Moral of the Story!!

..contd

Oi Veer, Go to London.

Those overacting Missionaries are driving me insane.

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Let’s go Bro to London. And not just anywhere, but to UCL.

We’ll learn the Angrez psychology in UCL.

I’ll be extremely happy to be your lame sidekick all my life.

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Okay, now don’t speak anymore dialogues. You’re stealing my thunder.

Appa, these Angrez log, they dance and sing with me.

They caned me, but All iz well.

Time to break into a dream sequence song, take off my shirt although it’s still very cold here.

———————————————————————————————————————

Time to show some awesome angst.

And the infamous Badass look.

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Smitten*

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I think I don’t have to try hard. Oh I gotta dance yet again

Smitten

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Oh dammit, that chick is Madhavgarh’s Yuvraggi to be.

Lemme tell ya gal- I’ll kill your bros and then I’ll kill yo dad

Cool. Still smitten

———————————————————————————————————————

AND THEN..Veer and Punya, after taking out 5 kilos of gosht, go back to India without being prosecuted in anyway by the Angrez govt. How could they? Tell me, tell me!!

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So what did you learn?

Dancing, lots of styles. English. Nothing regarding warfare,

conspiring plans etc etc.

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Awesome. Pindhari Pindhari Pindhari

Time for some dance with Orange Jeans and

Fur Jackets and let’s cling our pseudo-Beer Bottles.

———————————————————————————————————————

Oh Appa/Dadde – I is in Love. With Dhara….

Yashodhara from Madhavgarh…

Don’t Disturb

———————————————————————————————————————

Cool. Imma gonna go there alone as a Yuvraj of some random place near Lahore.

Deceive the Brits + Madhavgarh, and win Yasho in the Swayamvar

Oi NDTV. They are organising a Swayamvar, but not crediting ya. It’s ok yeah?

Swayamvar Time. Unveil the Bahu look.

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Time traveller Badass Brit guy from TNA

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@ChunniBabu_Jaggu: You are so screwed Dude

———————————————————————————————————————

No I am not, I still have a plan up my sleeve.

No not my golden arm, the other one.

———————————————————————————————————————

Dadde, I has your Bahu. We are not gonna kill now.

I am non-violent now all of a sudden.

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Dude, you’re so gay. I demand action between you and your Dadde.

Godammit, I was once Haidar Ali, father of Tipu Sultan in a National
Television series, where the war scenes in every episode made more
sense than the whole of this movie.

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I’m gonna throw in a mythological reference now -

Bheeshma, yea I am like him.

Gotta Fight.

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BTW, gimme some time to have my plan B ready.

Yasho, trust me, it’ll be done in no time.

Am tired now.

Appaaaaaaa… don’t whoop my ass pwease.

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You guys underestimated the sleepwalking Jaggu Dada.

KAPOW!!

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I am so dead. Hang on, I still have time to kill yo dad.

And listen, I am returning as my own son. Yeah, coz we did it last night ‘member.

Whaaaaaa???? You fell ASLEEP????

#FML !! All the heroism, the roars and the one night equates to NOTHING

Nahhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yep time for my Udhas face, yes that one.

No, still only friends with Pankaj Udhas.

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Moving on…

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Now you’re so dead dude.

Yeah me thinks too.

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And so does me. Aiiyooo

FLASHFORWARD..

I am back from the set of London Dreams…

dammit I forgot to change

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This is for any future projects involving Rajneeti.
Calling Prakash Jha now.

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Moral of the story:

Will someone fucking tell me WTF am I, Bharat Dabholkar, doing in this movie,

standing as one of the members of Stonehenge with a B-Grade movie

wala moustache?????

I am effin Bharat ‘Amul’ Dabholkar. Doodh ki Nadiya Baha Doonga.

When a movie inspires you to create something new, or even pushes you to the limits of inventing a new mashup of two different medium, it certainly is some form of genius in one way or another.  Avatar did it with its 360 degrees of Pandora. And Veer has done the same with its Pindharis. Brute, drunk, sexually fertile and hormonally in their teens, the Pindhari Rajputs are not much different from the Na’vis. Now if you believe in every word I have said so far, go wash your face. To take the name of Cameron’s Avatar and Anil Sharma & Salman’s Veer-Avatar in the same breathe cannot be justified by any stretch of imagination. But yes, I do believe that Veer has inspired me to create something new. And that inspiration has resulted me to amalgamate Twitter into the 1860s revolt by the Pindharis. Basically what we are speaking here is -

How Veer [Salman] under the Chatrachaya of Prithvi [Mithun] got drunk, danced on some tribal Tubthumping music, went to London, got the Dulhania, Pwned Jaggu Dada and Saved the day

When the movie begins with the Disclaimer – All animals have treated properly blah blah!, they completely forgot to mention that the movie could be visually, mentally and emotionally extremely torturous to humans. Moving on, here we go – Tweeting the Movie – Veer.

Salman_TheVeer: @Anil_Gadar_Sharma I been writing. Sholay’s train robbery,romance, London, a Jalwa types drunk dance and a Katrina look-alike. Wht say?

Anil_Gadar_Sharma: @Salman_TheVeer Awesome dude. Is Sohail in 2? He’s mah fav.Reminds me of Rajendranath without glasses.

Salman_TheVeer:@Prabhu_Mithun Dada are you in?  Neena G is playin ur wifey.Promise u get lotsa hugs 4m her

Prabhu_Mithun: @Salman_TheVeer Twitter Daemon auto reply–>Account last active during Luck’s release.

Salman_TheVeer:@Prabhu_Mithun Dada…WTF?

Prabhu_Mithun: @Salman_TheVeer Sorry dude, I get lotsa spam and stuff. Thought u were fake! Yes I’m in. Who’ll be my Bahu?

Salman_TheVeer:@Prabhu_Mithun: A new chick called Fatrina Zarine. Nice ..ahem! She’s ‘fit’ for the role.

Prabhu_Mithun: @Salman_TheVeer Twitpic me her audition pics.

*** FATRINA’s AUDITION PICS***

I am basically a very awesome choice for this role.

My strengths are my Full Fat Double Cream and strictly supervised Oversized diet.

I needed to look the role as there was no VLCC in the 19th century.

My Videsi Bandi Look.

Also, if there was Audience poll for the Best Debut role this year,
this’ll be my Phone Vote Face

I’m like so right for this role. I’ll run you through my other pics.

My smitten look. I am gonna be so smitten by him all throughout the movie.

Did I tell ya that this will also be my Breaking into a Song face.

And if there was an Audience poll, this would be ‘Phone Vote’ face

In case you thought I was too videsi, here I am in an Ekta Kapoor Bahu attire.

See, I can totally play the Royal Vadhu. Attention Manish Malhotra and @kjohar25

***AND MY LAST TWO PICS TO SEAL THE DEAL***

I can also do the make-up less de-glamoured look.

Just in case there is another Period movie

I know people say that I married Pankaj Udhas just to have this look, but I’ll say – We’re just good friends.

And lastly, the politically inspiring, white sari, Gandhi glasses, grey-haired, non-remarrying widow

I know it’s tough not to remarry when even my Saas [Mother in law] enjoys a better sex life.

But what to do, duty calls.

ROLL SOUND, LIGHTS, CAMERA , ACTION!

We Pindharis are Mental. Really. Who negotiates with Jaggu Dada eh?

But then, even though we knew he’d ditch us, the chance to cut his arm off is so BADASS!!

But dude, our Pindhari Bros are totally pwned by Madhavgarh.

And although we are Rajputs, I speak in “Behen-De-Takke” Punjabi.

We gotta start multiplying to compensate for our lost population.

And so…

I’m here just to speak 2 lines.

And then I’ll be invited to that Reality show as a guest judge.

Dadde!!!!!

Dadde is a bit busy Beta Veer. hic!

Enough. I’m gonna grow up so fast after that crappy Spartan training.

I have everything in place. Horses, Black Turbans and Eyeliners.

Will be soon dancing in Orange Jeans and fur-jackets. Woot Woot.
Man I am so awesome to be contained in a single post, I’ll need to continue in another one.

You heard the MAN. We’ll be back soon with the Second Part. Until then, shout it out in the comments. Peace. Out!

..contd: Veer -Review -Part 2.