First things first. HDTV presents??? How the hell is HDTV expanded into High Definition Motion Pictures? Ok, settle down Sujoy. We are here to witness Prabhuji Mithun‘s legacy in a new avatar, his son Mimoh (fact: his name has two parts Mi-from Michael Jackson, Moh from Mohammad Ali). So he indulges in both the parts of his name, and meh! forget about doing justice to them. The titles start to roll on a cheap 70’s soundtrack and ooh, shiny disco Balls….and yes, it does seem like a take on Justin Timberlake- Rock ya Body. So, it begins. Let there be Light(s), Sound, Camera, Action!! So, here it goes.Rahul Dev -a cop gets a ring (as in a call) of a murder. Rushes to the spot mentioned, finds a lady buried and of course dead. Finds a Driving License there. It is of course of Jimmy,apna Jesus (son of God, no hurt feelings, please). And what is he doing? Trying to maintain the center of gravity of his 250 pounds of body weight, which is wrapped in a tight black pair of trousers, and a hat, and black shoes, and white socks. Get the Picture?. He is dancing so fast. Who’s the bloody choreographer?(It is Chinni Prakash, the one who gave us Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast) You wanted to project Mimoh’s dancing skills and this is what is done? Oh ok,I need not get mad at you, coz this entire movie was actually tailor made for Mimoh- taking into consideration that his Launchpad needed a perfect blend of the Indian Curry and the Western Sleaze, ahem no, umm..influence, I meant influence. So we get the blond streaks as long as a mane, and the MJ moonwalk. And we get the desi dhishoom with the Maa ki Mamta and Bete ka Kartavya, not to forget the Sachha Premi who finally reveals that he would have even sacrificed that for his Yaarana. PHEW!!! So, ok, let me stop giggling.
Okay, where was I? Cop comes to disc to find Mimoh in the heights of ecstasy, as he climaxed his act..of dancing. He arrests him on the charge of murder. Mimoh-aka Jimmy (doesn’t matter, actually Jimmy could have been a better name for Mimoh. Personally because Mithunda was really famous for the song- Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy, Aaja Aaja Ajaja. So it all makes sense, except for the fact that Jimmy is a common name for the Canis Familaris species- Dogs). I lost it again. Ok, no more giggling. Jimmy accepts that he murdered the girl and is imprisoned. His girl is shocked, and his mom is in tears but has a pearl necklace on. Jimmy gets a flashback looking at the window from his cell. His career and lifestyle gets exposed here. He’s an automobile engineer by day, and saving the world by night. Ugh, No. That’s not the script , but that would have been cool for the movie, so that’s Suggestion 1. Anyway, he is a DJ actually, who has got nothing with the sound console and has everything to do with the dance floor which has a green screen behind , and lotsa water. Why is he moonlighting? Coz he needs to pay off the debt of his late father who died of a heart attack. How convenient for the scriptwriter. I know how this must have gone during the discussion.
Director Raj N Sippy: must have told the script guy (if there is any)- So what about the father, who are we casting?
Script Guy: Meh, he died in an accident. Leaving his family bankrupt coz he didn’t pay his insurance premium on time.
Director: Too complex. Make it a heart attack due to his bankruptcy. That’s common these days.
So, poor Jimmy has to carry such a load on his broad shoulders. And then he meets bumpy lady-Vivana, who has a habit of slamming cars’ arse, and doesn’t give a squat about putting an L on her car. Enter Sardaar Shakti-Aaooo!! And sh has to loose a thousand bucks for every slam. And yes, this slamming is a metaphor for LOVE-in the reel world of Jimmy ie. What’s next? Shockingly, they break into a pathetic song playbacked by Shaan and music by Anand Raaj Anand- and Jimmy dances AGAIN. So pathetic that you believe that you could start headbanging, in a bad way. Next up- Jimmy proposes in a in-yo-face kinda way. Lady is happy. Mommy is happy. Everything’s perfect. And oh, Jimmy gets tested by girl’s rich dad and passes with flying colors. But then, rich dad has a friend who want to convert partnership into rishtedaari and whose son is a loohooo–saahaar. Jimmy also makes friends with Zulfi Sayed- construction builders head honcho who lives in a Castle- literally, which by the way has cheap Pink distempers painted on the walls and the pillars. So Cheap, unlike Malini Chopra’s apartments (Koyel Purie of the Asian Paints Ad). Anyway, everything’s going happy n merry. But oh no. Kahani Main Twisst (with an extra ASS, ekdum Ekta Kapoor isshtyle main, numerology u c). Jimmy ko chakkar kyu aata hai? Kyunke uske Pair Bhaari Hai? I couldn’t help saying that.
Anyway, when I saw Jimmy fall down on the street with his head-spinning, I had many speculations. Could be because he got engaged (you know what I mean), or perhaps it was the night shift he was doing. But he refuses his girl’s advice to see the doc. Only when he gets it the second time, he goes to see a hot doc (hotter than the leading lady,trust me-I got good taste). And yes, he has ..wait for it…Brain Tumor. Woo hoo!! That was so obvious for the son of MARD. And I was praying that he doesn’t get it operated, and instead gets it shot by a bullet and just blown away (miss the background score calling MARD MARD,MARD MARD). So, Jimmy has a few days to live (yeah right), and has a loan of 35 lakhs to repay. Because he wants his Daddy to sleep in peace. He strikes a deal with a certain Rajat Sharma (no mole on face) to take the charges of murder of a girl on his name. And that is where the flashback ends. At INTERVAL time , we wrapped up seeing Jimmy being hanged, and I prayed, ok, that could be a new way to get rid of the Brain Tumor.Suggestion 2
But God acts in strange ways. That was all a dream. Ugh!! Jimmy gets attacked in prison (not suggesting anything, just simple plain man to man violence). Gets hurt badly in the head. Govt Doc reveals that Jimmy has nothing to worry, except for his hanging. That was lame. Jimmy realises he is being set up for a reason. Escapes, yes, after showing the Cassius Clay in him with the Rambo moves and the Schwarzenegger biceps. But dude, slim is in. Stop eating French Fries. Okay, he beats up the guards, runs away from the cops, goes to the doc (yeah, the hot one). Doc reveals that it was Rajat Sharma itself who bribed her. Jimmy searches for Rajat in a club called Zombie, and how? Dancing there. Yeah to the tunes of a karaoke Billy Jean with distorted lyrics. I prefer watching MJ on Youtube. Rajat Sharma killed. So we have somebody else.Hmm!!! Interesting. Just for the record, I still am GIGGLING. Who could that be? It’s a guy in a leather overcoat and black boots and denims. Oh, we saw Jimmy walk that way throughout the movie. Yeah, but his denims were all shredded in the wrong place. So is it Jimmy himself, who is schizophrenic, ala Fight Club? Suggestion 3. No, Mr.Sippy ain’t that smart. (Yes he gave us Satte pe Satta, but he also gave us Woh, given the title of Worst Movie ever by my pal Vatsal.Yet to be verified.) What’s next? Jimmy with help from Zulfy and his girl go to the dead girl’s apartment. See that cop Rahul has posed with her. The round-robin has now stopped? Is it the cop. Hell No. There’s still more to go.
Cop says, Rajat is still alive. Heehee. Stupid Killer’s gonna come now and fall for the bait of Rajat Sharma. Jimmy can’t show much of his Moh-skills now and gets beaten up. And oh, stupid Killer is in fact Zulfy. But all this while, I was praying that it should’ve been Prabhu Mithun. Suggestion 4. Only his presence could’ve saved this ship from sinking. And now the question is why Zulfy? Zulfy is actually in love with Mimoh’s girl-as in SRK in Anjaam isshtyle. And then what? I know you’ve stopped reading by now. Screw it. Lotsa action between Zulfy. Mimoh gets to flex his muscles more as he has worn special sleeveless for the action items. And then, Zulfy gets shot. Happy Ending, not for the movie.
And what did I take back home with me?
>>My Offer Letter from St.Andrews University,Scotland for acceptance for M.Litt in Finance and Management.
>>The official theatrical trailer of Don-Muthu Raja, Mithunda’s take on Big B’s Sarkar Raaj.
>>The official theatrical trailer (Hindi Dubbed) of the most awaited, anticipated Summer Movie release in almost 20 years- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Steven Spielberg, Lucasfilms, Harrison Ford as Indie and Cate Blanchett.
>>And oh, some souvenirs from Alankar (the theater where I watched this). Statuettes and Mementos of Silver Jubilees of Nagina, Noorie and Karan Arjun. That makes up for my 40 bucks.
Comments on Mimoh: Reduce weight, reduce constipation, start singing coz Himmess can, and God Bless. Get behind the camera. Seriously.
And about the movie ? What movie?