I have already announced the Bollywood Razzies for this year, but my heart refuses to stop at this. C’mon, it’s January and time for the Bollywood awards season. As the Screens,Filmfares and Zee Awards get ready to roll out the nominees, I have the opportunity to squeeze out every “unconventional” and “special” award for this year’s Bollywood releases. The first category is the Bollywood Special Awards, ones which can also be called The Good Ones. Read on to know the Bad ones, and of course don’t miss the Ugly ones. So here they are-
THE GOOD :
Duniya Jaaye Tel Bechne( Let the world sell oil, I mean no holds barred) Dance:
Undisputed Winner:-Kay Kay Menon, high and stoned, grooves to the foot-thumping Sajanaji Vari Vari, and even does a Naagin Dance. We all loved it.
Contenders-Krishna: Maula Mere Le Le Meri Jaan (Chak De India)
Kailash Kher: Ya Rabba (Salaam-e-Ishq)
WINNER:Sonu Nigam: O Re Paakhi(Khoya Khoya Chand)
Can’t ask for more Dialogue( The most repeated/discussed dialogues at workplace)
Picture abhi baaki hai (Om Shanti Om)
Nahi Sir…main Samajhdaar Hu(Life in a Metro)
Kya Idiot Insaan nahi Hote?( Bheja Fry)
Sattar Minute( Chak De India)
WINNER:Ek Suhaagan ke Sar ka Taaj hota hai…..Ek Chutki Sindoor (Om Shanti Om)…
Glued to the Dance Floor tracks:
Naughty Naughty- Cash
Mauja Mauja-Jab We Met
Soni De Nakhre-Partner
Sajnajee Vaaree Vaaree – Honeymoon Travels
WINNER: Hare Raam Hare Raam-Bhul Bhulaiyya
THE BAD :
Mummy Kya Bolegee (What will Mom say) Kiss:
Shahid Kapoor and Kareen Kapur, Jab We Met. Now that’s why they broke up? Boy, the girl wanted onscreen confidence. Duh!
Worst pick up Line:-
Rani Mukherjee in Laaga Chunri Main Daag :-Hi I’m Natasha. Ughhhhh!!!!
Chemically Composed Name:– CK2MK- That expands to Carbon -Di-Potassium..whatever. It’s Chain Khuli ki Main Khuli. Some movie poster I saw next to the Men’s room at Inox.
Sawaal Dus Crore Ka(Biggest Onscreen Question):-
(Bheja Fry)What is a Tharkee? (What is a nymphomaniac, oops I just gave you the answer, where’s my cheque?)
THE UGLY :
Apocalypse Now ( The one which will totaly Nuke the spirits of Javed Akhtar and Gulzar):
Thakur in RGV ki Aag:- Kab hai Diwali? ( When is the Diwali? translates to – Be prepared for the fireworks, source: Chak De India)
The Full Monty:-
You know this one. No it’s not SRK for Dard-e-Disco. Neither Shekar Suman who inspired his 6-packs. It’s Ranbir Kapoor. I’m actually tired of cracking jokes on him.Seriously.
Smriti Mishra and her sagging belly,jutting out of the cotton saree-Dil,Dosti etc.
Joint winners:- Rakhi Sawant for Budhha Mar Gaya, and Nisha Kothari as Ghungru for RGV ki Aag.
What a year it has been. Yeah, you might be saying, Sujoy, you are complaining too much. Fine. I’ll be right back with the list of Bollywood’s best,ASAP. Till then, Ciao.