2 months in hibernation. I was . Why? Coz I was busy. Busy doing what? Long story short. I have moved to the UK. Here I am in the land of the Limeys. Blighty as they call it. Studying my Masters. And why should you care? Don’t have the answer to that, all I can say right now is enjoy reading this edition of Say What: A tribute to the Zack Snyder classic, the very testosternoey …300.

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Let’s put a smile on that face!

I had plans of writing a post on the anime feature: Gotham Knight before I wrote this review, but the last two days were spent in anticipation over the wait for the Dark Knight. And having seen the movie   today on the big screen, I don’t remember what I saw on the anime. Hell, I don’t remember what I saw in the previous Batman movies and once I walk out of the cinema, I get this feeling - that might be the best superhero movie, ever, if not the best movie ever ( Lee thinks so !!). And it is totaly worth all the hype, all the viral marketing, all the fanboism and hoopla at Comic Cons et al, coz it delivers. No that is not the correct word choice. Coz it overtakes your expectations, by glueing you to your seat, grabbing your collar and make you WATCH with your eyes wide open as the Joker giggles and the Batman glides.And guess what? Anyone who enters the theater with great expectations would leave the theater without the desire of doing so, wanting desperately to watch it a second time, a third time, or even more, with the stark realization that the word “great” in one’s expectations earlier is SORELY inadequate! There are reasons why movies like these need to be 2 hours and 32 minutes long. Because there is only one Dark Knight. Read the rest of this post »

The above pic is a G-rated one. For the PG-13 version, go here. Anyway,for the children of this age who have not been subjected to Joel Schumacher’s third degree torture, you are blessed. Because we have seen a multi-million franchise to have been lifted from being a campy TV franchise to a Gothic vision (by Tim Burton, which had its flaws, but we love it) and then just been destroyed..no BUTCHERED. Batman Forever was, as they say, the beginning of the end, and Batman and Robin was the last nail in the coffin (until it was ressurected by Nolan ). Still makes me wonder sometimes what was going through the mind of Joel Schumacher and the guys at Warner Bros when they made these two (the first one-Batman Forever in the year 1995-3 years after Batman Returns, and the second one: Batman and Robin in 1997). And I often imagine the following dialogues.

Joel: (while watching Burton’s versions) Oh Burton Burton..!! He must be so disturbed.Need more lights, more fluorescence. Ladies-Uma Thurman, Drew Barrymore, Nicole Kidman, beat that!! oh that lady in the Crying video. More Gay appeal. Clooney, c’mon you are sport enough to flash bat Nipples yeah!! And yeah, some good bulge as well. Robin, we’ll have a butt shot. And yes, Tommy Jones-we don’t have much budget, you have to do your own make-up. We’ll have the future Governor of CA as the cold villain. (Evil Laugh).

WB guys: Joel, consider Jim Carrey for the Riddler. The guy is insanely good.

Joel: Jim who?

The rest as they say is history. All that I write for the two movies here are based on the bleak and yet disturbed memories that I had after watching these two cinematic crap-bags almost 5 years ago. And no, I didn’t watch it again to blurt it all out. Just thought this one would be a good sequel to my previous post: Batman -The First Two. I promise to keep it short, and sorry no screenshots to grace this post. Read the rest of this post »

I can still remember the spine chilling grrl that came out of the mouth of Oswald Cobblepot. The white-skinned flippers, the gaze and teeth which had a “dark green toxic liquid” layer on them. That was 10 years ago, when I watched a glimpse of Batman Returns, and could not complete watching it because of reasons I cannot remember now. And even before that, a very young me was completely frightened by the horror of a smiling man. A face whose smile did not bring a sense of joy, but instantly meant evil. Such was the power of the Joker, that when I saw the newsreader girl fall on the floor and watch her face turn into a white smile, I went ahead and switched off the TV. And till date, I had not completely watched Batman-the first two. I can hear many wtfs in the background, but that’s true. And having survived through the worst two (which is the topic of the next post on OKS), a good amount of well written Batman Beyond series and of course Nolan’s darker,better and most mature treatment of Batman in Batman Begins, I really wanted to go back and finish my task of watching Tim Burton’s Batmans. This had been a pending job for me more than a movie watching thing, and I knew it wouldn’t be a better timing than watch it NOW, when the Dark Knight releases next week on July the 18th. So to officially begin with the week long celebrations for the welcome of the Dark Knight, Ladies n Gents, I give you: Batman -The First Two.

Screenshots after the Jump. Read the rest of this post »

It goes without saying that Edward Norton’s Bruce Banner is more charming than Eric Bana’s. And well, this version of The Incredible Hulk works on more levels than the previous one.But then the poster to the left suggests as if Norton just walked out of the Ass gates of the Hulk…anyway.. Coming back to the Hulk, I am personally not a big fan of this comic character( I have my reasons for not calling IT a SUPERHERO) and to me, the HULK is just a complex character woven by Stan Lee ,inspired by probably Frankestein and Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. And well, what makes it cool is that Banner’s body is the host to Gamma Ray radiation -’mean green’ in color and ignited by RAGE. That is so Testosterone more than Adrenaline. And that is why, Hulk remains one of my least favorite.  But having said that, nothing is more cool than to see the green monster go berserk bashing around any damn thing lying around and do the Devil’s Dance. Ang Lee’s version was an attempt to keep the dance low key and project more of the workings of the monstrous mind. It worked for some, and didn’t for others (including me). Norton, Writer Zak Penn and Director Louis Letterier (Transporter 2, Unleashed)  however has plan otherwise. Since the trailers unveiled months back, we all knew this was here to undo the harm of the predecessor, and not only revive the Hulk franchise, but also in a way try to start it from a clean slate and show more Bam and KaPOWs per frame. And yes, it is more interesting when the Hulk is not challenged by the petty US Army, but by his equally strong radioactive nemesis. Read the rest of this post »

20 years of waiting, and the Doc will see you now. Oh Doc Jones! You have more wrinkles now. Doc Jones, you have a new sidekick now who is a son as well. Can we call him Doc Jr? Why is the Ukranian lady trying to BE Ukranian and why is your son dipping his comb in Cola? Just too many questions, and I am not given any answers. Awright!!! I know Indiana Jones is one of those immortal characters that have been built on the basis of that boyhood daydream replete with fantasy worlds, deep secrets of lost lands and treasure hunts with adventurous journeys . The one we loved and perhaps can never be old enough for. But having said that, Indie has delivered them all in the previous installments and this one as well. But somewhere, somehow,the feeling creeps in that in these 20 years, the laziness of the filmmakers have taken over, which makes Crystal Skull just another big budget Hollywood no-brains matinee mayhem, even when we have the Gurus-Spielberg and Lucas steering the wheel.

As for the plot, here it goes. It’s 1957, and as the Cold War is warming up, the bunch from Soviet capture Doc Jones to find the secret package in the warehouse of Area 51. Flaw 1: Only 4 guards at the door of a high-secret facility. How convenient! (I think by the time I end this review, I am just gonna lose count) Anyway, the package contains the remains of a secret worthy of being kept in Area 51. Doc Jones then tries to escape the captivity of the Soviet bunch in an action scene which can be best described as lame, and then even manages to escape a nuclear explosion. We do come to know about the treasure hidden in the lost land of El Dorado which Doc deciphers from the note sent to Mutt by his mom-Marion Ravenwood, an ex of Doc. Mutt says that an old ally of his,Prof Oxley has been abducted while searching for a hidden Incan temple. And that is approximately where the story wraps up. What follows next is just a big hoch poch of ideas flowing in a turbulent wave from the brains of Lucas. You name it and they have got it here, to the point that you start feeling that the sole intention of the movie was to revive the franchise for the sake of it (and of course raking in big bucks). Speaking in the shortest way possible, I’d say the plot includes some of the most forgettable action scenes, grand sets with gold shimmering from every inch and yes, ALIENS. The plot gets so dodgy at times that you just want to get over with it. But yeh, you hold yourself back coz it’s supposed to be the Summer Blockbuster of the Year. Read the rest of this post »

Okay, I loved it. (So did the masses and the critics.) Iron Man i.e. in a Superhero way. It was such a relief ,given that Spidey 3 sucked more than Eureka Forbes. Robert Downey Jr. nailed it with his wit and the suit just perfectly suited him. The effects were visually seductive and the Taliban angle given to the kidnap of Tony Starkswas really smart. I am not a big fan of this Marvel Superhero though. Never knew that his “name outside the mask” is Tony Stark. Went back to read the trivia behind Tony Stark and discovered that he is actually one of the most flamboyant, rich, suave, a bit of a casanova and yes, has no superhuman powers- much like the Dark Knight. And that is what makes it look REAL. Right, so this is no review as you must have already guessed it. Here’s the twist. Ladies n Gents, presenting the Brand New Season Premiere-Pilot Post of Say What. And what is that? That’s what they actually said- or may be not. But then, it’s just fun. Here’s the Iron Man episode , and am sure everyone will enjoy it, in their own way. This is done with pure intention of creating a bit of humor and well that is it. Enjoy.

More Fun after the Jump

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God Bless Sean Penn!
God Bless Hal Holbrook!

Into the Wild it is. Sean Penn brings John Krakauer’s best-seller to the screen based on the life of Chris McCandless, a 22 year old who donates all of his savings of $24,000 to Oxfam, abandons all his possessions as well as identity and thumbs his way to Alaska.Why does he do so? Because he wants to detach himself from the shackles of money, career, the rat-race and rather get lost in the unpredictable, dangerous American outbacks and experience FREEDOM, all in the style of his literary heroes -Jack London and Henry David Thoreau. And as Chris(portrayed by Emile Hirsch) says ,”I don’t want money,give me truth”, and that is what we get it.Amazingly, we are not made to gulp it down forcibly. But in the reels of Sean Penn, we witness what made Chris to take such a decision- to abandon a secure lifestyle to choose to hit the road by himself. Was he a spoilt child or an introspective and thoughtful person?It is a tragedy no doubt,for Chris himself who dies of starvation and poisoning , his parents who do not get a trace of him until they discover his dead body years after he left, and also for the old man who wanted to adopt him as his grandson. But at the end of it all, the Light did shine. The questions that were raised have been left unanswered, but in the narration of Chris’ sister Carine (Jena Malone), we begin to understand the anguish of the upbringing of a dysfunctional family and its harsh consequences. But Penn prefers to keep it miles away from being preachy in any way and rather tell the beautiful tale of Chris in the breathtaking outbacks of Alaska and his endearing quest for Idealism - that’s the word. (Check out the screenshots after the jump) Read the rest of this post »

When a movie can prove that you need not know the language to understand the grief embedded within the person in front of you, that’s when I say it has transcended the limits of being an entertainment medium and escalated to a whole new level. To me, watching Marc Foster’s onscreen adaptation of Khaled Hosseini’s best-selling novel “The Kite Runner” has been such a proof. Who would have thought that a movie with completely unknown faces, languages switching from Russian to Dari to Pashtu to English, and two kids with the most innocent eyes could steal the show? And please, let us not even attempt to compare it with the written work. The barometer which tries to measure a film’s ability to completely adapt each page of a book would always say that the movie fell short on many aspects. The Kite Runner is no exception to that. But the story comes through with as flying colors as the Kite of Amir Jan and the sincere spirit of Hassan, his Kite Runner.

The Story: I am one of those who haven’t read the book. And for me, what was shown was what I got, and not something for which I expected. Without giving much away (although, I believe millions must have already either read the book or seen the film), the story revolves around Amir , born to a rich family in pre-Soviet Kabul and how he comes in terms to get rid of his guilt of not having helped his best friend-Hassan. The story begins in the Late 70’s Kabul where Hassan and Amir spend their childhood as best pals, competing in Kite Flying festivals and Hassan serves as Amir’s Kite Runner. Hassan gets bullied by a group who sexually assault him as he is a Hazara and should not be in the company of someone like Amir. Amir witnesses the event but cannot defend Hassan. He even distances himself from Hassan by accusing him of theft. The Hazara family leaves the Khan family, and even the Khan family have to leave their grand haveli due to the Soviet invasion. They flee to Pakistan, and then eventually to California, America. Years later, Amir still strives to pursue a career in writing and marries the daughter of General Taheri, Soraya. Amir’s father passes away due to ill-health, while Amir manages to get his first book published. He receives a call from Rahim Khan at Peshawar who wants him to come back for a reason. Read the rest of this post »

Let me begin with: What a Movie!!! Cloverfield literally rocked my world. This is the best movie I have seen of the “monster movie” genre and that is including King Kong, Jurassic Park, Alien, Predator and even the Korean “Host”. I still can’t believe that the wait is now all over and I have been a part of that cinematic experience that I have been counting down to, ever since the first teasers hit online-the exceedingly mind-numbing visual of the head of the Statue of Liberty tossed on to the streets of NY. And all of this being captured on a handycam. Right even from the days when it didn’t even have a name to it (and was rightfully named as JJ Abrams’ next project), the fanboism to the movie had peaked until it’s release. And now that I have watched IT, I can be quite peaceful at heart and satisfied enough to talk my heart out about the movie. I loved Cloverfield, every bit of it.

The premise is a Manhattan’s typical yuppiedom party thrown for a Rob who is leaving NY for a job in Japan. And a friend of his is given the cam to record farewell video testimonials. And then, suddenly amidst the discussion among Rob, his brother Jason and the cam-holding Hud, with no warning, no background score and no cinematic trumpet announcing the arrival of chaotic destruction, cometh the Monster. Now, we have seen gazillions of monster movies set to the backdrop of Manhattan.But if you expected this to be just another one added to the list, I must say you are mistaken. This leads the list. And whatever you saw in those teasers, just try and imagine to multiply that intensity of 30 seconds by almost a 100 times and spread it across a movie of length 73 minutes. Yes, it is that good. Yeah, but for the monster movie sucker that most people are, they would expect a deep plot on the genesis of the monster, the characters who are gonna be later killed by the monster, should have built a rapport with the audience before they are swallowed or trampled upon. And yes, wide pan angles, bird’s eye view, a camera rolling through the legs and barely missing the monster’s tail, and yeah lastly the monster should have a NAME. Cloverfield breaks each of that stereotypical guide to making monster movies. And guess what, that is where it made all of us awestruck. It literally is the monster movie for the YouTube generation- where a million hits go to the reaction videos of 2 girls and a cup. And so, if you expected all the above mentioned guidelines of making a monster movie to be followed, I am sure that you’d be let down. Because I hardly remember the girl’s name, the monster doesn’t really has a name and neither is anyone interested to give it any, the panic at the streets is very real, the toxic smog made me almost cough, and the combat scenes look a straight report on the CNN. Read the rest of this post »