Reading Lee Sargent’s QuitYourDayJob blog on Friday the 13th (His post on the Top 5 Horror Flicks ) gave me this idea to just blurt out on what this day represents in Indian cinema. Nothing. And if you thought Indian cinema can be scary, I would say, YES for all the wrong reasons. Scary when it is least meant to be, and when we start discussing at length of all the scares that Bollywood (or more so, its step sister/ illegitimate child, the B-grade Bollywood or what we’ll call as Bbolly) has offered in all our growing years of watching cinema, we have had more laughs and eyes filled with tears while we rolled on the floor pointing our fingers (the index one) at the makeup peeling off from the lady’s ..umm..face while Viju Khote runs through the corridor lit in red light. I can still vividly remember almost each and every cliche that scary movies had to offer in those days when satellite TV was yet to invade our lives. The local cinema theater (here called Gopinath, dedicated to the many bunked tuition classes ) was the one which offered the best of entertainment as titillation was a complete no no on the only existing National TV network. The posters used to bear the best that the movie had and names that would bring any Ekta Kapoor serial to shame (in sheer length).e.g. Paapi Gudiya Ka Insaaf (The justice of the Sinful Doll, a nice take on Chucky). But then, there were the short and sweet ones too.Veerana, Kafan,Saamri, Darwaza and many more of that legion fall into this category. So by now, you must have almost got the idea that what I’m gonna talk here is all about the deep shit scary stuff, not the ones with Vidya Balan singing “Aami Je Tomar” or Urmila Matondkar being exorcised. What’s happening here is that we discuss the many rules that have ruled Bbolly Horror, rules like Black Hairs and Wet White Saris, Smoke,Rapes and Shakti Kapoor,not necessarily in that order.

Rule no 1: We have to begin with the name. Shakespeare said,”What’s in a name?” Little did he know that centuries later, we would call him “Hilti Hui Nashpattee” or even change the first half of his last name to a 3 lettered word ending with an X. Anyway, the point is, the name plays a very vital role in the product placement. Names like Bhoot(ghost) or Pretaatma (similar meaning) just won’t work in Bbolly. Bbolly demands for graphic explanation. Best example is the latest flick at Alankar cinema: Bachke Rehna Zara Bhoot Bangle Main (Stay alert in the ghost house). Other popular Titles include: Pyaasi Padosan (Thirsty Neigbour). Sorry that was not a horror flick. We have many names named after Havelis and Mahals and Bunglows.But the ones which make it to my list are, Khoon Ki Pyaasi Dayan (The Lady Ghost who is Thristy of Blood) and Haveli Ke Peeche (Behind the Mansion). Other formats include description of timelines (Bees Saal Bad, Sau Saal Baad etc. 20 years later, A hundred years later etc )
Corollary to Rule 1: If name is to be kept short, set the mood right.
Ask the Ramsays. They know it best when it comes to naming movies after ambience/environment.
Start with the sound, go for the building, then a specific room and then doors. Next add an adjective.Ghungroo Ki Awaaz, Daak Bangla, Tahkhana,Guest House,Darwaza,Bandh Darwaza.(The sounds of the Ghungroo, The Bunglow, The Dungeon, Guest House– that you got, The Door, Closed Door) That’s what I meant!! Read the rest of this post »

Let me begin with: What a Movie!!! Cloverfield literally rocked my world. This is the best movie I have seen of the “monster movie” genre and that is including King Kong, Jurassic Park, Alien, Predator and even the Korean “Host”. I still can’t believe that the wait is now all over and I have been a part of that cinematic experience that I have been counting down to, ever since the first teasers hit online-the exceedingly mind-numbing visual of the head of the Statue of Liberty tossed on to the streets of NY. And all of this being captured on a handycam. Right even from the days when it didn’t even have a name to it (and was rightfully named as JJ Abrams’ next project), the fanboism to the movie had peaked until it’s release. And now that I have watched IT, I can be quite peaceful at heart and satisfied enough to talk my heart out about the movie. I loved Cloverfield, every bit of it.

The premise is a Manhattan’s typical yuppiedom party thrown for a Rob who is leaving NY for a job in Japan. And a friend of his is given the cam to record farewell video testimonials. And then, suddenly amidst the discussion among Rob, his brother Jason and the cam-holding Hud, with no warning, no background score and no cinematic trumpet announcing the arrival of chaotic destruction, cometh the Monster. Now, we have seen gazillions of monster movies set to the backdrop of Manhattan.But if you expected this to be just another one added to the list, I must say you are mistaken. This leads the list. And whatever you saw in those teasers, just try and imagine to multiply that intensity of 30 seconds by almost a 100 times and spread it across a movie of length 73 minutes. Yes, it is that good. Yeah, but for the monster movie sucker that most people are, they would expect a deep plot on the genesis of the monster, the characters who are gonna be later killed by the monster, should have built a rapport with the audience before they are swallowed or trampled upon. And yes, wide pan angles, bird’s eye view, a camera rolling through the legs and barely missing the monster’s tail, and yeah lastly the monster should have a NAME. Cloverfield breaks each of that stereotypical guide to making monster movies. And guess what, that is where it made all of us awestruck. It literally is the monster movie for the YouTube generation- where a million hits go to the reaction videos of 2 girls and a cup. And so, if you expected all the above mentioned guidelines of making a monster movie to be followed, I am sure that you’d be let down. Because I hardly remember the girl’s name, the monster doesn’t really has a name and neither is anyone interested to give it any, the panic at the streets is very real, the toxic smog made me almost cough, and the combat scenes look a straight report on the CNN. Read the rest of this post »