From 8 to 7. The X Factor contestants gave their shot with their performances last night. And although, some performances did stand out, it was an average night over all. Movie week did not turn out to be as grand as I had expected. Louis kept on shouting about him being the judge and also boasted about his limited movie knowledge. Simon kept on nagging about Lloyd’s performance and Cheryl. And actually, in a long time, John & Edward actually evolved into being likeable. Phew! Danyl has emerged from the shadow of being cocky, then broken, and gave a heartfelt Prince performance last night. Stacey shed off her non-mobile skin and took on a sexy image, and Olly felt as comfortable to do the Twist and Shout. As for Lucie, I think Miley Cyrus would give her an intern position, and Joe just seems at home with theatre. But the winner of the night for me was absolutely Jamie Archer. He is born to be wild…I mean..performer I can totally see him performing at Wembley or any world class stadium.

Talking of which, I am very very sad today to hear that Steven Tyler has quit Aerosmith. And more sad so, coz Joe Perry says that the remaining band is searching for a vocalist to replace him. IMO [ and the millions of Aerosmith lovers ], Steven Tyler is the voice of Aerosmith. No matter how good a song is – if it is not sung by Steven Tyler, it will never be an Aerosmith song. Tyler is the face, the voice of Aerosmith. If there is no voice, there is no music. Period.

Back to the competition. My predictions for the night.

Bottom 2: Lloyd Daniels and Lucie Jones / Jedward

Eliminated: Lloyd Daniels.

We have to find out when the curtains go up as the Live results are announced in just 2 hours from now.

Performers of the night: Black Eyed Peas and ex-X Factor winner – Leona Lewis.

Join us for the Liveblog and discussion of tonight’s result night – Live at 8pm London time. Cheerio!

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Live from London, we are here for the Live results. Performing tonight are: Black Eyed Peas and Leona Lewis. Lines are still open, but only for a few more minutes. The judges have entered the arena – and yes, it is the Superman theme being played. LOL. BTW, they haven’t told us what the judges get if their acts win. Could be like for the judges’ act win, a charity donation could have been arranged.. Donno. Just saying as a suggestion to the X Factor producers.

Back to the act ensemble – They are singing – Katy Perry -Hot n Cold. Was that in a movie? That was well choreographed, and Stacey is really looking hot. Even in the ensemble, Joe’s voice can be clearly heard. But Jedward were very much miming. A quick recap of the performances of last night’s performances.

Stacey from Dagenham – We Love ya!!!

Olly – Always fun to watch him. Olly Olly Olly Oi Oi Oi!!! Cheryl sez: Olly is the one to watch

Lloyd: Pffft. Go Home. Cheryl wishes Louis all the best for Jedward

Jamie: Cryin’ ..That was spot on. Louis go home and rent the movie.

Lucie: Miley Cyrus stuff. Not my kind. That’s SOOOOO Disney

Danyl: Purple Rain, and Danyl is back. Hit the homerun with that one.

Jedward: It’s actually fun to watch them. But Louis is promoting them as an anti-recession depression mascot.

Joe: Musically spot on! Whatever happens, Joe has a bright future at the West End.

But next up, is Black Eyed Peas performing live their latest single – Missing You. I love this band. Their songs. But it’s a bit weak I must admit. The performance is a bit lack lustre. I don’t like the song either. Nothing great in terms of melody or the pyrotechnics. Nothing wow about it, but Fergie has killer vocals though. And wtf was that note at the end. That was a long ass note. But that song – wouldn’t buy it. And no Dermot – that was not fantastic.

BEP gave some tips for the contestants and Fergie thanked Cheryl for letting her borrow her shoe Ok, time for the first break. After the break, the voting lines close, and Leona Lewis performs. C u in a bit.

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Back from the break. Voting lines are closed. Judges are being questioned about their pick for Bottom 2. No one says a name. Simon picks Lloyd and thinks – one of the girls.

Time now for Leona Lewis’ performance of her latest single – Happy. The new single is live on her website: http://www.leonalewismusic.co.uk/gb/

The sound is so much generic. Its hard to please me with such a song. I do like Bleeding Love. But this one is just looks like a compromised sub-edited version of that. Nothing great about this. But her vocals are definitely great. She is the greatest Diva from this show so far. 6 acts will be safe, 2 will be in the bottom to sing for their survival – One act goes home- After the break. BRB!

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Back from the break. Heart beating. Nerve wrecking. Results time. Judges enter with their respective acts.

The six acts who are safe this week, and for sure singing next week are:-

Joe McElderry

Olly Murs

Stacey Solomon

Lloyd Daniels [ WTF? Simon is worried]

Danyl

Jamie. [ Phew!]

Bottom 2: Jedward [ finally] and Lucie. So Dermot says – one will stay, and one will go home. Err… two could go home.  So, if it comes down to the judges, Jedward can go home. Or if one of the judges turns out to be a pussy like Simon did last week, Jedward could still be in the competition. Oooh. The drama is definitely building. All of Louis’ acts can be gone tonight. I’ll be so happy to see that. Be back from the break.

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So we are back from the break. Lucie takes on John & Edward. Simon promises that he will be judging on the basis of the performance tonight. Louis knows only one word – Fun. Anyway, time for the sing off – Lucie Jones.

Oops she coughed. She is singing Whitney – One Moment in Time. She is definitely in a totally different league from Jedward. She CAN sing. Love her vocals towards the end, but the beginning was a bit dragging. But overall she gave her best to save herself. That was definitely the performance to save herself.

And then Louis says, Jedward will perform – Rock DJ. How lame, how predictable. And the crowd in the audience is booing. Silly choreography. And a repetition. Very weak. Out Out Out..finally!!! And lemme say it for the last time..Booooooooooooo.

And no Dermot. 2 will be going home tonight. Over to the judges.

Louis: You should not be in the bottom 2. But I HAVE to save the boys.

Danny: The act I am sending home is Jedward

Cheryl: Tonight, I’m gonna send Jedward home.

Simon: [ Don't be a pussy tonight] Tricky one. I am not surprised that you two are in the bottom 2. I don’t think that either of you can win. Who’d I rather see again? – I’d probably see the boys. Booo Simon.. Booo Simon. I’m going to let the public decide. Seriously Simon, after all you said about the boys, now you’d see them again. Efffffffffff you. No, actually FUCK YOU SIMON.

Booooooooo Simon. The act leaving tonight is Lucie Jones. This is WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. Simon..what a pussy, hypocrite…deadlock..Lucie is eliminated. Jedward safe. WRONG. Effin WRONG.

Danny wishes all the luck to all the good singers in the competition. Two of her acts eliminated in two weeks.

Next week – Shakira performing.

I will be on a holiday next week. So I am not sure about the liveblog of the performance night as I am not sure of the internet connection. But I think I will be at least able to upload a whole post after the performance show [ not a liveblog]. But I will be back home on Sunday to liveblog the results night.

What happened tonight was just wrong. I am over ITV2 now for XTra Factor. Fuck Simon!! He has lost all credibility.

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I am still shocked with Lucie being voted out. Lucie’s Whitney vs. Jedward performing Rock DJ. Simon had promised that he’d pass judgement based on the performance. Seriously Simon, check your effin ears. I am extremely annoyed. Totally unfair. Jedward vs. Lucie is no competition. That was horrible.

Danny: Lucie did a great performance.

Simon: I didn’t put these in the bottom 2. I wasn’t expecting this result.

Maz from Fife says she is very annoyed at Simon. Lucie was the better performer. Simon says – Let the public speak. I think Simon is strategically eliminating the stronger singers for his own benefit.

Tony from Essex asks Louis – Are Jedward the new Ant & Dec? Pfffft!!! Louis is doing his voting face Someone call Harry Hill for – The Many Faces of Louis Walsh.

I am soooo angry. All of Louis’ acts could have been eliminated. I believe secretly Simon has a secret pact with Louis.

Amanda from Manchester praises Danny for having composed herself professionally. And she says to Simon – You should be ashamed of yourself.

Simon replies – I wasn’t expecting for this result. What can I say?

Amanda- Nothing . ROFL. In yo face Simon!!!

Angela from Shropshire – We still love you Simon. Why do all contestants listen to you above other judges?

Simon: Whoever wins, we will all give them our support. [ Such a smug]

Sarah from Preston – Predictions of the Winner?

Louis is happy for the one he picked. And so Cheryl says, is it one. So it’s not two.

Kim – Dermot vs. Louis – Simon Effin Cowell says – Louis, you cannot upset the nation. Bastard. Anywho, we’re outta here. Catch you next week for the Liveblog. See yaa!!!

Last week’s elimination of Rachel had the whole nation talk about how cowardly Simon Cowell is and how he favours popularity over talent. To answer that, I’d say talent is all about popularity, as far as singing is concerned. I accept that Rachel is indeed one of the best female voices in the competition. But as I said earlier, if her records don’t sell, [ which is a bit clear from her bottom 2 experiences ], she will not go a long way. However, singing can be put into other use. A part in a Broadway or West-End musical can be a good avenue for her singing talent. Coming back to this week’s competition -it’s Movie week tonight on the X Factor. The Top 8 will be singing Movie soundtracks, and Danyl has already sung – I don’t wanna miss a thing. We’ll be updating the playlist for the night as soon as possible.

This is going to be a mixed genre of songs – from pop to hip hop, to retro, disco and even rock. So it all boils down to the song choice for each contestant. Although Rock is Jamie’s forte, I think Simon should explore his range by giving him a pop number and making him sing in a totally new arrangement. An original twist to a very popular number will make him shine through. I believe out of Simon’s three contestants, Jamie hasn’t been praised as much as he should. And lot of it is because of Louis Walsh’s stupid comments. And hey, Simon’s three acts are still in the competition. Whereas – Louis two acts – Miss Frank and Kandy Rain, Cheryl’s – Rikki Loney and Danny’s- Rachel Adedeji have been eliminated.

So far in the competition, the most consistent performer and growing each week has been Olly Murs. I love Stacey but I genuinely think that when it comes to pop performances, Live concerts and tours – she won’t be able to give that level of grand performance. But again, that’s just me.

Nevertheless, we have almost 5 hours to go for the Live show 5. We’ll catch you in a bit with the playlist. But do join us for the Liveblog at 8 pm London time. After the Jump—> The entire playlist of this week’s song choices.

The playlist below are the song choices of the contestants.

Stacey
Son Of A Preacher Man

Lucie
This Is Me – Demi Lovato (From Camp Rock)

Joe
Circle Of Life – Elton John (From The Lion King)

Lloyd
Stand By Me

Danyl
Purple Rain

Jamie
Crying – Roy Orbison

Olly
Twist And Shout

John and Edward
Ghostbusters Theme – Ghostbusters

The Live shows begin in a couple of minutes. Join the discussion in the comments. C’mon people!!

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Ok people. The show has begun. It was funny to see Dermot make an entry to Moby’s James Bond Theme, and the judges entered the stage to the Star Wars theme. Back to the show. The first to perform is Stacey Solomon. And she is performing – Son Of A Preacher Man from the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.

OMG, she is looking stunning in black. Who thought she couldn’t be sexy! Its a very seductive performance without being provocative or slutty. Just the right amount of sexy I love love her vocals. Tonight we see the confident performer in Stacey. That was something.

Judges verdict:

Louis: A great start to the show. I love the sexy look on you.

Cheryl: I thought that was the most confident looking performance you’ve done so far.

Simon: I’d call that a typical talent show competition. That was a lazy song choice.

Danny: That just shows how out of touch Simon Cowell is.

Simon thinks she might be vulnerable this week. Seriously Simon? Her code is 01. She was lovely. And the audience cheer was the loudest. Coming back after the break, Olly and Lloyd. BRB!

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Back from the break. Up next is from Simon’s Over 25 – Olly Murs. He is singing Twist and Shout from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off soundtrack. Let’s see how he performs.

Like always, he fits in the charming guy-centre stage performer. This is the perfect song choice for him. It’s a fun performance, and the choreography is ..ahng on… they did the Thriller there. He definitely gets all the points for showmanship. And he’s got likeable vocals. He’s already a popstar I think.

Judges verdict:

Louis: I wasn’t crazy about the singing. I think Simon picked a silly song for a great singer.

Danny: You sang beautifully, you performed well. Why the Thriller routine?

Cheryl: The audience is not letting her speak properly. The audience loves him…the girls especially.

Simon: Couldn’t make out what Simon is speaking, coz the audience went on – Olly Olly!! All I could make out was – That was fantastic.

That was a good performance. His code :02.

Next up: from Cheryl’s boys – Lloyd Daniels. He was in the bottom 2 last week. And he couldn’t sing properly because of his sore throat. But Cheryl assures us that he is better. I am annoyed by the in-the-face promotion of Disney’s Christmas Carol. Anywho, he is singing – Stand By Me.

Cheryl and Simon are not listening to him singing. They seem involved in some discussion. I have never been a fan of his vocals. And as usual, Lloyd disappoints us all with his lacklustre vocals. It is all over the place. Rushed at some places and pitchy everywhere. Why is he walking to the judges…oh..ok, he means Cheryl to ..”Stand By Me”. Cheeky!

Judges verdict:

Louis: It’s better than last week. But I don’t think you are good enough.

Danny: You’re very cute. It was a nice performance [ She's trying to be nice].

Simon: Kinda feels like you are giving up.

Cheryl: He is down on his confidence. But I think it was your most comfortable vocals you’ve done so far.

That was still terrible. His code is 03.

Time for another break. C u in a bit. Until then, shout out in the comments people.

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Back from the break. Next up is – Jamie Archer. He is a born star. He’s just got it. He is performing Crying by Roy Orbison. He was previously supposed to perform Unchained Melody. But now, is his song change going to help him?

I am a big fan of his vocals and entire performance. But his vocals at the lower notes vibrate a bit too much quite uncomfortably. But having said that, let me tell you this. That out of all the acts, the only performance that I genuinely believe to sell out concerts in stadiums is Jamie. That was an awesome performance.

Judges verdict:

Louis: Great performance. But I don’t know the movie. I think you are cheating.

Danny: It was an emotional performance. It was heartfelt.

Cheryl: I think Simon did you well by changing the song. That was beautiful.

Simon: This is all about you. That was the best performance by a mile.

His code: 04. He was brilliant. He deserves to be in the competition and even win it. Vote Vote!!

Time for another break. And after the break – Lucie Jones and Danyl Johnson. Exciting innit!

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Back from the break. Time now for Lucie Jones. After having performed Guns N Roses – Sweet Child last week, she is now taking on a chick rock song – This is Me – from the Camp Rock soundtrack. Let me tell you this, she was fabulous in the audition, but since then, I have completely lost interest in her. She needs to grab mine as well everyone else’s attention.

No background dancers. Why is she nasal? She lifts her nostrils and goes nasal to hit the higher notes. Feels like one of those Miley Cyrus songs which totally disinterests me. She is kinda like following Simon’s instruction manual to be contemporary. That was just ok!

Judges verdict:

Louis: That was a good song choice. You are going to be the last girl standing.

Cheryl: I think you have found your niche.

Simon: This is the first time for me that you’ve made yourself relevant as a pop artist.

Danny: All I can add is that, I’m not the only who loves Lucie.

Her code: 05. I didn’t think that was as good as the judges said.

Next up: Simon says – a new Danyl Johnson.

Okay, he had a bad week last week. And the movie premiere thing is annoying me over and over again. And he is singing Prince’s – Purple Rain. Let’s see if Danyl can kill it.

New hairstyle. He has cropped his hair. Over to the performance – best song choice of the night. 20 seconds into the song  - and we are over to the hook. I think Danyl is certainly back in the competition. He is known for his wide range and instead of going for the obvious high notes, he has given us some good falsettos too. That was great. Simply great.

Judges verdict:

Louis: You came out there, and won over everyone.

Danny: Love the new look. It was a really really good performance.

Cheryl: I really liked your demeanour tonight.

Simon: That was an outstanding vocal.

That was indeed a great performance. Simon is kinda making a pitch for his act. He is a good salesman His code: 06. Vote Vote Vote !!!

Time for another break. Jedward will be performing next. Booing already!!

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Okay, time for the nightmare of the night. John & Edward. They feel Jedward is as cool as Brangelina. That’s like…err..incest. Anywho. Moving on, they are singing – as Louis states – the best soundtrack of all time – Ghostbusters. I am seriously worried that Louis is getting mental. As Simon says, they haven’t sung a single song in tune this whole show.

Over to the performance. It is funny. Very silly. Kinda looks like one of those annual shows in schools – only better props. The forgot the lyrics, awful choreography, and horrible vocals. Audience is cherring and booing. Louis loves them.

Judges verdict:

Danny: I honestly have got no idea. I can’t imagine listening to you on the radio. [ Louis: I can]

Cheryl: You bring fun to this show.

Simon: I think we have established in the last few weeks that you can’t sing. But this was actually the right song for you. This was….err..[hesitates] ..sorta good.

Louis: All I know is, people everywhere are talking about Jedward.

Seriously, we are hearing Jedward is being praised by Simon. Phew! And Louis says that Jedward are a good fun release in a world filled with gloom. So Jedward are now the mascots of the Anti-Recession cheering Club. Pffft!! Their code:07

Okie dokie. Last break of the show. Up next, closing the show is – Joe McElderry.

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Back from the break. Time for the not so Average Joe He is singing from Lion King – Circle of Life. It is THE fit song for him. This is going to be good.

Love the echo in his voice. The background dancers are a bit distracting. But his vocals are just flawless. I can imagine him singing that at Reading festival. Yes, this is a grand performance. Brilliant. Give it lasers, and proper light works, and this can be one of those performances. Love the vocals, love the performance.

Judges verdict:

Louis: You tick all the boxes.

Danny: You are the best male vocalist in the competition, hands down.

Simon: I thought this was the perfect song for you. I think you are commercial, you are very good.

Cheryl: It is so proud to watch you up there.

Oooh..Dermot and Louis had a debate. Louis gets screaming – I am the judge, you are the presenter. Dermot replies – I think the public is the real judge. Phew!

Simon: Louis, you have insulted the Prime Minister, you’ve insulted the audience. I think you should apologize.

Phew!!! All the drama that is on this show.

Joe’s code: 08. Vote Vote!!!

A quick recap of the performances of the night.

Stacey – Sexy, very good.

Olly – You twist, we shout..Olly Olly.

Lloyd – Go home kid!

Jamie – I have my lighters ignited, and I am in crowd at your concert. That was awesome.

Danyl – You are back in the game.

Lucie Jones – Never thought I’d say this to the girl who sang – I will always love you – But she is posing as the next Miley Cyrus. Donno if that’s good.

Jedward – Ghost busting stuff. In a bad way

Joe – Flawless. ‘Nuff said

I predict: Bottom 2 – Lloyd and Jedward. Possibly Jedward goes home 2moro.

Results night is tomorrow. Black Eyed Peas and Leona Lewis perform. And we will be liveblogging the results live at 8pm London time. See ya guys then!! [ Might update for some time more from the XTra Factor. Stay glued]

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Inside scoop from The Xtra Factor:

Simon clarifies that the show isn’t scripted. As in he hates the twins for real. And that Louis loves them.

Someone (Andy) from Manchester just asked Louis – If he wasn’t the mentor of Jedward, for real, would he still be supporting them? Hahahaha!! Andy got him by the balls.

Cheryl reveals that Danyl and Jamie were brilliant tonight.

Christie from Wales is complaining about Simon changing Jamie’s song for the second time. Simon replies that he wants him to do well.

Sam from Bracknell – to Cheryl – If Lloyd cannot sing high notes, why make him sing them. Sam also suggested him to sing Chris Brown – Forever. And the judges agree.

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We’re outta here now. Join us tomorrow for the Liveblog of the  results – 8pm London time. Night Night!

O Re Paakhi…O Re Paakhi resonates in my ears and as I sit down to write the review of Sudhir Mishra’s Khoya Khoya Chand, all that flashes into my eyes is the wet paint of the film sets, the halogen flood lights, the larger than life posters, and the filled theatre screenings of 1950’s -1960’s Bollywood, build perfectly to the last inch. Khoya Khoya Chand is sincere, honest and almost perfect in technique but unfortunately what starts off as story telling ends up being a history lesson. It is so much like a long lecture which started as being interesting and colorful, until the colors became repetitive and started blinding my eye. Of course, I’d stand up and applaud the technicians of the movie again and again throughout this review for making it almost feel like being seated in a Time Machine and getting deported to an era of the pot-bellied Producer getting bullied by the Superstars, the sleazy divas, the “favourable” Superstar, the struggling writer, the non-compliant industry-outsider director, the run of the mill dialogues and screenplay and the mom accompanied struggling wannabe. All of this and much more is taken care of perfectly and this is no small feat. What OSO (the other tribute to Bollywood movie, yeah the more commercial one) tried to attempt, Khoya Khoya Chand has achieved all of that and much more and it effortlessly makes us believe in Sudhir Mishra’s vision of the Black and White era of Indian Cinema.

Having said that definitely doesn’t necessarily mean that Khoya Khoya Chand is a gem of a film. Though it is accompanied by really strong performances by the main cast as well the supporting members, it fails on many accounts. The story narrates the story of a struggling actress, Nikhat (Soha Ali), who is awestruck by the glam and glitz of cinema. She willingly submits to the reigning superstar Prem Kumar (Rajet Kapoor) in return of her favours. Soon enough , she starts climbing up the ladders of success, until she realizes that she has been used when Prem announces his marriage. Nikhat finds solace in the arms of the aspiring writer, Zaffar(Shiney Ahuja). Zaffar reminds me of the villain of the same name in Disney’s Aladdin, yeah but he did not have any relationship issues, neither did he have any ego clashes. This Zaffar had all of them, including a troubled childhood resulting from a polygamist father and 3 stepmoms. The relationship between Zaffar and Nikhat goes through enough trying times, strenuous enough to make your head ache and force you to scream out “Stop you lady, and you, yes You Mr. Shut Up and listen to her for a sec”.The relationship itself is so confusing at times, and Nikhat as a person just leaves me gasping for more explanation. But then, Zaffar’s comeback and Nikhat’s sudden appreciation of him makes us feel that yeah, probably, the director has finally realized, “Okay , that’s enough indulgence for one film, its now time for a good climax “.
That’s when the climax song Thirak Thirak features in and the entire set, including the producer and the strict manager crack up, over a silly Ghungroo joke. WTF, I smiled out for no reason.

Shantanu Moitra scores an ace yet again with the soundtrack, and lemme tell you honesty, there are no mediocre tracks here. Just one ace after an ace, of course the Ace of Spades is O Re Paakhi by Sonu Nigam. Given the era of cinema depicted here, the soundtrack has an amazing jazz and blues element in it. Take for instance, the first track Ye Nigahein or the cabaret Khusboo Sa . Both are so very blues, so very intoxicating and both depict the smokes and mirrors of cinema effectively. The title track Khoya Khoya Chand features lyricist Swanand Kirkire rhyming lines to the backdrop of a 60’s rock n roll bass-line which ultimately finds climax in a beautiful qawwali. Shreya Ghosal is the next Alka Yagnik to say the least. I don’t need to say more, just close your eyes to Chale Aao and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Talking about the performances, I’ll begin with Saurav Shukla who actually ends up being the most memorable character in the entire movie. Perfect Punjabi flavored producer with the best of the lines. Sushmita Chatterjee appears in just a couple of scenes but makes her presence felt. Vinay Pathak as the narrator, and the strict manager of Nikhat is a complete waste of his potential. He could have done so much more, but has ended being just a sidekick in this movie, almost reminds me of his Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam days. Rajet Kapoor commands the screen with his “haraami” portrayal of superstar Prem Kumar. Sonya Jehan as the yesteryears’ diva is one of the highest points of the movie. She effortlessly makes you remind of Meena Kumari ,Madhubala, and Nadira. Shiney Ahuja must have taken his urdu lessons way too seriously and it starts to irritate a bit when it gets overboard. But it helps coz he is supposed to be from Lucknow. Nevertheless, he certainly delivers a wonderful performance as the grief stricken Zaffar searching for his eternal and internal peace. There is so much credibility in his tears and his anguish , how could Nikhat resist that? This is by far Soha Ali’s best performance as Nikhat, the ACTRESS which takes us down memory lane through the pages of Filmfare 1960’s . The pages flashing stories of the actress’ rise, romance, gossips, fall from glory and eventually finding retreat in alcohol. Soha plays the character with intense credibility, thanks to the costumes, the make up and hair stylist to have made it possible. Worth mentioning is the scene when she enters the bedroom of Zaffar while he is sleeping. She is so much like Sharmila Tagore . But yes, the best performance is by the cinematographer Sachin Krishnan who blends the perfect hues with the best of settings. Absolutely impeccable. Only if Mr.Sudhir Mishra could have woken from his indulgence a bit early in the second half, Khoya Khoya Chand could have resulted in being a memorable piece of cinema, which it has failed to be. 2 on 5. Top notch music though. I am still humming O Re Paakhi.

Sweded!

If you love the movies, you better watch Be Kind Rewind.I am completely swept, Sweded and absolutely blown away. And if I may say, this is what movies should be in the first place. Let’s leave the reviewing part for a while, and take this moment to praise the creative genius that Mr. Michel Gondry is. He has given us one of the most heart wrenching romantic movies of all time (Eternal Sunshine..) and here, he has set out to do a light hearted movie, casted Jack Black and Mos Def in the lead, which even has an uncanny premise to it. Almost silly you might presume. But what happens next is best described as Brilliant with a capital B. And I really don’t care what the ratings are, what the critics say. In a year where the movies are divided into two segments chronologically- Summer Blockbusters and Thanksgiving season, there comes a movie which retells the tale and brings the moral upfront- that movies were all about the heart more than the moolah. And mind you, it IS inspirational in ways more than a million.The plot is pretty much present in a lot of websites already, and so wouldn’t at all qualify as a spoiler if I mention it here. Neither would it matter, because you really HAVE to watch this one to get what I say. Now listen carefully James!

Elroy Fletcher runs a video store which faces a demolition notice. In hope to get back in business he sets out to spy on the business of DVD rental chains while he leaves the store under the supervision of Mike (Mos Def). In a power plant mishap, Mike’s friend Jerry (Jack Black) gets magnetised (don’t think it’s silly, it IS SILLY, but yeah what the heck). He leaves all the VHS tapes in the store blank, and when the store’s (which is named Be Kind Rewind) most loyal customer-Miss Falewicz (Mia Farrow) asks for a tape of Ghostbusters, to ensure that she doesn’t complain to Fletcher, Mike and Jerry decide on making a version of Ghostbusters of their own. And so the journey begins. Yeah I know, the initial 30 minutes are a bit mediocre, so you really need to sit through it please, because it has all been built up for the moments you are going to experience next.

Ghostbusters -Sweded, here we come. What’s next? Mike says: I’m Bill Murray, you’re everybody else. Haha!! Ghostbusters version Sweded features hanging books, silver foils, the perfect location of a library, and even a soundtrack

Walking down the street
You see a little Ghost
What you’re gonna do about Ghostbusters

And with help from fellow assistant mechanic, smart photocopies, and final minute dubbing, Ghostbusters is ready in the Bootleg Sweded version. What Jerry n Mike did not know was that they were about to begin their journey of film making and explore/swede movies on demand of their local neighbourhood. YAYYYYY!!! And next level: Jerry refuses to kiss Wilson (required in an intimate scene of Rush Hour 2 sweded) and hence they start hunting for a female lead who is equally creative in all aspects and even has the negotiating powers of a movie producer. And once Jerry gets demagentised, they all need to get back to making some more movies. The list contains 2001:A Space Odyssey, Robocop, Men in Black and on and on and on. The only little complaint here is that the sweding procedure is being skimmed through. I would have loved to watch some more of it. Especially for King Kong and LOTR (both done by Peter Jackson, coincidence). The MIB stuff was really smart and you have to see it to believe. Well, I have included it in the screenshots below. And yes we know that Rush Hour has become a franchise now in a way, but it is not an integral part of our pop culture. Not enough to be sweded at least! I did like the Chinese Bamboo strong enough parody. LOL.

Fletcher returns to find that his video store has become the hub of a community video production which is doing way better business than it ever did. But he still faces a demolition deadline. They have to reach a target revenue of 60,000 USD ,and how do they do it? Make some more movies, fast and short. So they involve the local community to be a part of it. But then copyright infringement and IPR enforcement officials pay a visit and it is payback time. Fletcher has lost everything. His store faces demolition, the sweded movies are run over by a bulldozer as Mike and Jerry watch and they even face a lawsuit. But Jerry doesn’t give up , and they decide to make an original one. One of their own local hero – Jazz pianist Fast Waller. And this is where the movie moves from being just fun to a Big Tribute – to Filmmaking at its crude and unpolished best. Seven Days to shoot a biopic. And the process just narrates the cool factor of making movies, of creating stories that speak, and making people a part of the entire process in many ways.Not so surprisingly, I was instantly reminded of the school plays I had been involved with, mostly in the script part. It inspires and educates you about the passion, dedication and love required to understand this art form and that it is ART to make movies, perhaps way more than an oil paint, and that moving pictures tell better stories and they can make you laugh, cry, smile and experience and express jubilance even when life is tough. That is why movies still exist in a world where we have numerous options of escapism. That is why we Love Movies.

The climax is a bit incomplete because we do not get to know what happens of Be Kind Rewind. But then it would be silly to have a fairy tale happy ending, and hence better kept open. And when movies move me, I can’t help clapping, and even giving a very desi-seetee (whistle blow). This movie deserved three of it!! Just forget all the logic if magnetism can be drained away in pee. Forget Sigourney Weaver.Have a look at JB.Jack Black does what he does best, and minus the irritating overdose of fart jokes (which I love except when it is just way too much ). He reminds me of his other ‘really good’ movie- High Fidelity. This is the High Fidelity of VHS. LOL. Mos Def is just so much fun to watch. But the winning vote goes to Mr.Gondry for giving us a winner which not only entertains us through and through, but even somehow made me rework on my budget to buy a handycam. Youtube here I come!! Till the time I replace Spielberg and Tarantino you enjoy the screenshots.

Screenshots Here.

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Whack-Thooo

First things first. HDTV presents??? How the hell is HDTV expanded into High Definition Motion Pictures? Ok, settle down Sujoy. We are here to witness Prabhuji Mithun‘s legacy in a new avatar, his son Mimoh (fact: his name has two parts Mi-from Michael Jackson, Moh from Mohammad Ali). So he indulges in both the parts of his name, and meh! forget about doing justice to them. The titles start to roll on a cheap 70′s soundtrack and ooh, shiny disco Balls….and yes, it does seem like a take on Justin Timberlake- Rock ya Body. So, it begins. Let there be Light(s), Sound, Camera, Action!! So, here it goes.Rahul Dev -a cop gets a ring (as in a call) of a murder. Rushes to the spot mentioned, finds a lady buried and of course dead. Finds a Driving License there. It is of course of Jimmy,apna Jesus (son of God, no hurt feelings, please). And what is he doing? Trying to maintain the center of gravity of his 250 pounds of body weight, which is wrapped in a tight black pair of trousers, and a hat, and black shoes, and white socks. Get the Picture?. He is dancing so fast. Who’s the bloody choreographer?(It is Chinni Prakash, the one who gave us Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast) You wanted to project Mimoh’s dancing skills and this is what is done? Oh ok,I need not get mad at you, coz this entire movie was actually tailor made for Mimoh- taking into consideration that his Launchpad needed a perfect blend of the Indian Curry and the Western Sleaze, ahem no, umm..influence, I meant influence. So we get the blond streaks as long as a mane, and the MJ moonwalk. And we get the desi dhishoom with the Maa ki Mamta and Bete ka Kartavya, not to forget the Sachha Premi who finally reveals that he would have even sacrificed that for his Yaarana. PHEW!!! So, ok, let me stop giggling.

Okay, where was I? Cop comes to disc to find Mimoh in the heights of ecstasy, as he climaxed his act..of dancing. He arrests him on the charge of murder. Mimoh-aka Jimmy (doesn’t matter, actually Jimmy could have been a better name for Mimoh. Personally because Mithunda was really famous for the song- Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy, Aaja Aaja Ajaja. So it all makes sense, except for the fact that Jimmy is a common name for the Canis Familaris species- Dogs). I lost it again. Ok, no more giggling. Jimmy accepts that he murdered the girl and is imprisoned. His girl is shocked, and his mom is in tears but has a pearl necklace on. Jimmy gets a flashback looking at the window from his cell. His career and lifestyle gets exposed here. He’s an automobile engineer by day, and saving the world by night. Ugh, No. That’s not the script , but that would have been cool for the movie, so that’s Suggestion 1. Anyway, he is a DJ actually, who has got nothing with the sound console and has everything to do with the dance floor which has a green screen behind , and lotsa water. Why is he moonlighting? Coz he needs to pay off the debt of his late father who died of a heart attack. How convenient for the scriptwriter. I know how this must have gone during the discussion.

Director Raj N Sippy: must have told the script guy (if there is any)- So what about the father, who are we casting?

Script Guy: Meh, he died in an accident. Leaving his family bankrupt coz he didn’t pay his insurance premium on time.

Director: Too complex. Make it a heart attack due to his bankruptcy. That’s common these days.

So, poor Jimmy has to carry such a load on his broad shoulders. And then he meets bumpy lady-Vivana, who has a habit of slamming cars’ arse, and doesn’t give a squat about putting an L on her car. Enter Sardaar Shakti-Aaooo!! And sh has to loose a thousand bucks for every slam. And yes, this slamming is a metaphor for LOVE-in the reel world of Jimmy ie. What’s next? Shockingly, they break into a pathetic song playbacked by Shaan and music by Anand Raaj Anand- and Jimmy dances AGAIN. So pathetic that you believe that you could start headbanging, in a bad way. Next up- Jimmy proposes in a in-yo-face kinda way. Lady is happy. Mommy is happy. Everything’s perfect. And oh, Jimmy gets tested by girl’s rich dad and passes with flying colors. But then, rich dad has a friend who want to convert partnership into rishtedaari and whose son is a loohooo–saahaar. Jimmy also makes friends with Zulfi Sayed- construction builders head honcho who lives in a Castle- literally, which by the way has cheap Pink distempers painted on the walls and the pillars. So Cheap, unlike Malini Chopra’s apartments (Koyel Purie of the Asian Paints Ad). Anyway, everything’s going happy n merry. But oh no. Kahani Main Twisst (with an extra ASS, ekdum Ekta Kapoor isshtyle main, numerology u c). Jimmy ko chakkar kyu aata hai? Kyunke uske Pair Bhaari Hai? I couldn’t help saying that.

Anyway, when I saw Jimmy fall down on the street with his head-spinning, I had many speculations. Could be because he got engaged (you know what I mean), or perhaps it was the night shift he was doing. But he refuses his girl’s advice to see the doc. Only when he gets it the second time, he goes to see a hot doc (hotter than the leading lady,trust me-I got good taste). And yes, he has ..wait for it…Brain Tumor. Woo hoo!! That was so obvious for the son of MARD. And I was praying that he doesn’t get it operated, and instead gets it shot by a bullet and just blown away (miss the background score calling MARD MARD,MARD MARD). So, Jimmy has a few days to live (yeah right), and has a loan of 35 lakhs to repay. Because he wants his Daddy to sleep in peace. He strikes a deal with a certain Rajat Sharma (no mole on face) to take the charges of murder of a girl on his name. And that is where the flashback ends. At INTERVAL time , we wrapped up seeing Jimmy being hanged, and I prayed, ok, that could be a new way to get rid of the Brain Tumor.Suggestion 2

But God acts in strange ways. That was all a dream. Ugh!! Jimmy gets attacked in prison (not suggesting anything, just simple plain man to man violence). Gets hurt badly in the head. Govt Doc reveals that Jimmy has nothing to worry, except for his hanging. That was lame. Jimmy realises he is being set up for a reason. Escapes, yes, after showing the Cassius Clay in him with the Rambo moves and the Schwarzenegger biceps. But dude, slim is in. Stop eating French Fries. Okay, he beats up the guards, runs away from the cops, goes to the doc (yeah, the hot one). Doc reveals that it was Rajat Sharma itself who bribed her. Jimmy searches for Rajat in a club called Zombie, and how? Dancing there. Yeah to the tunes of a karaoke Billy Jean with distorted lyrics. I prefer watching MJ on Youtube. Rajat Sharma killed. So we have somebody else.Hmm!!! Interesting. Just for the record, I still am GIGGLING. Who could that be? It’s a guy in a leather overcoat and black boots and denims. Oh, we saw Jimmy walk that way throughout the movie. Yeah, but his denims were all shredded in the wrong place. So is it Jimmy himself, who is schizophrenic, ala Fight Club? Suggestion 3. No, Mr.Sippy ain’t that smart. (Yes he gave us Satte pe Satta, but he also gave us Woh, given the title of Worst Movie ever by my pal Vatsal.Yet to be verified.) What’s next? Jimmy with help from Zulfy and his girl go to the dead girl’s apartment. See that cop Rahul has posed with her. The round-robin has now stopped? Is it the cop. Hell No. There’s still more to go.

Cop says, Rajat is still alive. Heehee. Stupid Killer’s gonna come now and fall for the bait of Rajat Sharma. Jimmy can’t show much of his Moh-skills now and gets beaten up. And oh, stupid Killer is in fact Zulfy. But all this while, I was praying that it should’ve been Prabhu Mithun. Suggestion 4. Only his presence could’ve saved this ship from sinking. And now the question is why Zulfy? Zulfy is actually in love with Mimoh’s girl-as in SRK in Anjaam isshtyle. And then what? I know you’ve stopped reading by now. Screw it. Lotsa action between Zulfy. Mimoh gets to flex his muscles more as he has worn special sleeveless for the action items. And then, Zulfy gets shot. Happy Ending, not for the movie.

And what did I take back home with me?

>>My Offer Letter from St.Andrews University,Scotland for acceptance for M.Litt in Finance and Management.
>>The official theatrical trailer of Don-Muthu Raja, Mithunda’s take on Big B’s Sarkar Raaj.
>>The official theatrical trailer (Hindi Dubbed) of the most awaited, anticipated Summer Movie release in almost 20 years- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Steven Spielberg, Lucasfilms, Harrison Ford as Indie and Cate Blanchett.
>>And oh, some souvenirs from Alankar (the theater where I watched this). Statuettes and Mementos of Silver Jubilees of Nagina, Noorie and Karan Arjun. That makes up for my 40 bucks.
Comments on Mimoh: Reduce weight, reduce constipation, start singing coz Himmess can, and God Bless. Get behind the camera. Seriously.
And about the movie ? What movie?

God Bless Sean Penn!
God Bless Hal Holbrook!

Into the Wild it is. Sean Penn brings John Krakauer’s best-seller to the screen based on the life of Chris McCandless, a 22 year old who donates all of his savings of $24,000 to Oxfam, abandons all his possessions as well as identity and thumbs his way to Alaska.Why does he do so? Because he wants to detach himself from the shackles of money, career, the rat-race and rather get lost in the unpredictable, dangerous American outbacks and experience FREEDOM, all in the style of his literary heroes -Jack London and Henry David Thoreau. And as Chris(portrayed by Emile Hirsch) says ,”I don’t want money,give me truth”, and that is what we get it.Amazingly, we are not made to gulp it down forcibly. But in the reels of Sean Penn, we witness what made Chris to take such a decision- to abandon a secure lifestyle to choose to hit the road by himself. Was he a spoilt child or an introspective and thoughtful person?It is a tragedy no doubt,for Chris himself who dies of starvation and poisoning , his parents who do not get a trace of him until they discover his dead body years after he left, and also for the old man who wanted to adopt him as his grandson. But at the end of it all, the Light did shine. The questions that were raised have been left unanswered, but in the narration of Chris’ sister Carine (Jena Malone), we begin to understand the anguish of the upbringing of a dysfunctional family and its harsh consequences. But Penn prefers to keep it miles away from being preachy in any way and rather tell the beautiful tale of Chris in the breathtaking outbacks of Alaska and his endearing quest for Idealism – that’s the word. (Check out the screenshots after the jump)

The journey in the movie has been depicted in a back and forth timeframe. Initially we see Chris in the frozen hills of Alaska and he makes his home in an abandoned bus called ” Magic Bus”. We then get to see Chris, who after donating his savings, burns all of his identification documents and starts calling himself “Alexander Supertramp”. He hitches rides along the way with hippies, rows on a kayak down to Mexico, and even gets beaten by the Railway Patrols. He becomes close to a 16 year old hippie as well. But above all,the most captivating and compelling friendship he makes is with a very gentle and concerned old man, Ron Franz. And yes, Hal Holbrook did deserve to be nominated for the Best Supporting Oscar. The scene in the jeep when after driving for a hundred miles, it is finally time to say goodbye to Chris, he reveals that his family line was dying with him and that he had this desire of adoptin Chris as his grandson. It is done so brilliantly that you could almost feel the pain touch you. Chris says he’ll discuss about it once he gets back from Alaska. And as he leaves, Ron blinks his eyes and a tear rolls down his cheeks. And the Oscar goes to….oh, damn you Anton Chigurh.

But well, the surface has to show all the adventure involved in this travelogue cum docu-drama that was involved in this hitching. The outbacks are spell binding and often leave you speechless. I am not kidding you. See the screenshots for yourself . The cinematography is just BRILLIANT. You sense the call of the wild, the chill of the snow, the heat of the melting ice, and the warmth of the coming spring, all effectively in the captured frames of cinematographer Eric Gautier. The gurgling of the water enchants me and so does the snow caped peaks. I’d rather talk less about these and just let you see them for yourself.

And when it is all done, I am left haunted. HAUNTED by the music of Eddie Vedder and the Ukelele strumming; HAUNTED by the open surroundings; HAUNTED by the beauty of the 16 year old hippie strumming her acoustic guitar; HAUNTED by Carine’s pain in her narrative voice of not having her beloved brother respond to her ,only to discover his death; HAUNTED by the thrill of experiencing ‘The Wild’ and by the adrenaline of stretching out the arms from the top of a peak; and finally HAUNTED by the smile of Ron Franz and his words,

” There is some kind of BIGGER thing we all appreciate, and it sounds that you don’t mind calling HIM God.But, when you forgive , you Love. And when you Love, God’s LIGHT SHINES on YOU”.

Screenshots

The ‘Aag’ of the Year is Here.
The Tashan…. The Pharmoola….. The Craps

Yeah, the days spent in anticipation are over. All this while , we were wondering what Tashan was all about. The theatrical trailers revealed only the four characters walking out of a burning house, in picture perfect glares, leather boots, and loaded with guns. Saif in his brown cargos, Akhshay in a red shirt with a gamcha tied around his waist and scratching his head, Kareena in a blazing hot white top and leather boots , and Anil Kapoor, well his presence is just enough. And then the trailer ends with Anil jee saying ” Phust impression ij dee laast impression” (A twisted UP wala tone added to First Impression is the Last impression). The good thing about the trailer was the distorted electric guitar background score that accompanied the extra stylish, extra crisp trailer which revealed nothing about the story. It was indeed intriguing. Now that I have watched the whole movie, it all makes sense. They didn’t reveal anything about the movie because they didn’t have anything in the movie that could possibly be termed as “PLOT”. Oh please, me lord, I accuse YashRaj films of spending the megabucks on such a bunch-a-loada-crap. Yes, it is so crap that it makes Bhagam Bhag (or any damn Priyadarshan’s crap remake movie) look like Ben Hur (No, I am not comparing them in any bloody way. Tashan is just so crap!).In fact, now I am unable to decide which is more crap-Tashan or the previous Yashraj offering-Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. And yes,personally, I do not have anything against the Yashraj people.I even managed to like a pregnant Priety Zinta moonwalking in ‘Salaam Namaste’, even the crooks Bunty n Bubli while they tried to sell the Taj Mahal to a firang. But for Tashan,I have only a very few things that can be mentioned as I didn’t dislike.

First, the smoking hot lady who has been referred to as the “bitch” (yes, Saif calls her that many a times throughout the reels) Kareena, has the looks and the ‘buns’. She makes you take a peek at her assets in a green, two-piece bikini and the producers think that they have sold the movie. You are wrong Mr.Producer.We might get smitten by the burkha clad Deepika Padukone when she reveals..umm..her face. But if you think Kareena walking on the sands with a green two piece would sell tickets, I’d say, it might get clicks on Youtube or may be downloads of DVDRip when the DVD is out (and thankfully, there are dedicated DVDRipers who upload the valuable clips), but not movie tickets. Not even close. But yes, I liked “them”. Secondly, the background score/Title track -Tashan. I went home and played it again , and I simply loved it. The Sukhwinder Singh track-Dil Haara Re also has a prominent guitar riff and a folksy beat to it, tailor made to suit the clubbing crowds.And well, I am done with the likings list and now I can just unleash the beating.

Anil Kapoor-Let’s start with you. Hinglish is funny, isn’t it? Happy you lots. (Derived from the (in)famous Deewar dialogue-Aaj Khush To Bahut Hoge tum).The Hinglish starts on a funny note, no doubt, but by the third time he says it, it gets monotonous, repetitive and even difficult to comprehend. Done with the Hinglish.You own a huge fort with the metal gates et al. And you still manage to trust a girl with your bank locker.Forgiven. You managed to build such an ‘empire’ and still are foolish enough to trust a noob, enough to give him thy Gun. Pffft! Pffft! Pfft! Nothing much to say about Saif and Kareena. The onscreen chemistry is pretty much non-existent. Saif is busy with his histrionics, while Kareena is busy cutting her denim to shorts.The only saving grace is Akshay Kumar as Bachhan Pande. From the Ram Leela Raavan to the on-boat scene where he feels shy to propose Kareena, Akshay steals the show (in case there is any). He looks the most stylish of the lot, and well, doesn’t even try to be. Even while he is wearing the mukut and the 9 heads attached to it, riding his scooter in the crowded and cramped up gallis, or while he displays his stunts ( quite predictably. C’mon, there’s Akshay in a potboiler and he has to kick some buttocks, right?), Akshay is the only one who has ‘The Tashan’.

The biggest complaint is however with the filmmaker. Can we at least have a single hint of reality? You just defied gravity, electricity,speed (of bullets), time and space et al. What we get in the name of action scenes is a rehashed, mashed up modern-day-Neo who can kill ‘em all and survive with almost no injuries. Bachhan Pande manages to abuse Mr. Bhaiyajee seconds after he is electrocuted.And the action scenes are choreographed with elaborate set-ups involving fire and water and mud and what not.Oh yes, add to that collapsing and exploding sets, burning cars, Chinese swordsmen and a fatigued Kareena who manages to lift those heavy boots to land them on the dushman‘s arse.The scenes are being captured on those fast action cameras (don’t know what they actually call it), and it makes the visual look sharp, but oh I can see the strings as well. A little recap of Akshay’s storyline does reveal though that he has been nurtured with the “monkey-hopping” technique since his nappy days.

Further, just when he thought that Yashraj could afford only this, they throw in a song with firang dancers and Kareena dressed in psychedlic hippie hues,embellished with jewels,lighted sets. And yes, there is still some more. The gang-Akshay,Saif and Kareena manage to travel from Haridwar’s “Har Ki Pauri” to  Rajasthan’s palaces via a road that sports the look of Ladakh, has pure blue water, and which actually is Greece. Next, they travel from Rajasthan to Allepey’s backwaters and even meet Kathakalli dancers and coconut dealers to recover the money. What I didn’t get was Kareena distributed 25 crores amongst these locations to some random,poor people (as they looked from their Tashan statement). Then why did these dumb fools just didn’t run away with their money? But then, that is only one of the million things that I didn’t get of the movie, including the movie itself. I should be ashamed that I went to watch this movie, and more ashamed to have written such a long ‘review’.But then, I have my own Tashan-a Tashan of throwing back the crap.

P.S. The climax has a scene where Anil Kapoor comes riding his rickshaw and then, Kareena is thrown in the air, as she lands with a sword and plunges it right through the heart of Anil Kapoor aka Bhaiyajee.Now, even the sword which went through wasn’t accurately aligned. Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! It was enough for me. I could have bought two DVDs (Moser Baer DVDs come cheap) of Gunda, and could have enjoyed double the trouble at half the price!!!

If you asked me the rating, I’d give it one (finger i.e.).

Is this movie really directed by Subhash Ghai, the guy whose resume’ reads Kalicharan, Karz,Hero, Karma, Ram Lakhan,Saudagar, Khalnayak, Pardes and Taal (let’s forget memories, I mean Yaadein and Kisna for the time being, you know disasters do happen)? What happened to the glitz, the Bollywood spice and the saccharine? Oh they have all gone, and gone for good. The glam has taken a back seat, and the director is ON. Scene-1, take 1-Action. Subhash Ghai’s “Black and White” speaks volumes for itself- of the guts and the dare that he has taken up, leaving aside all that he has done previously, and ventured into totaly new lands of filmmaking- a land which is politely termed as experimental cinema. Kudos to the man who quit the huge hat, refrained himself from that addictive cameo and did a brilliant job behind the lens. And all of this praise doesn’t come from your knowledge of what you expect of a Subhas Ghai blockbuster. But because, B&W has all that it takes to make it a heartfelt attempt at making GOOD cinema. From the moment when the reels began to roll to unveil the Solar Eclipse and the Diamond Ring shine on the Title, I knew that I so want this film to be good. And the good thing was, it IS.

The story is of an Afghan Fidayeen suicide bomber who takes up the name of Numair Qazi( Anurag Sinha) and has been assigned with the task of bombing the Red Fort in New Delhi on 15th August. He has exactly 14 days to execute the task, and he does so with help from his organisation’s arrangements which even include members in the Indian Parliament and local Indians too. He is made to stay in the heart of Delhi’s cultural boiling pot- Chandni Chowk at the residence of his ‘adopted’ grandfather ( Habib Tanvir). However, he faces hurdles to get through Red Fort securities for D-Day, and in his attempt to arrange for it, he uses the help of Prof. Rajan Mathur( Anil Kapoor), a Urdu professor at Zakir Hussain College. But little did he know that Prof. Mathur and his wife Roma (Shefali Shah) were going to unleash before him, the colors of secularism and the ideologies of tolerance, tehzeeb and trumpets (as in band baaja at the marriage ceremony of Nimmo, that Punjabi girl). However, Mr.terrorist comes across not only like a constipated angry man, but also one who doesn’t shave, doesn’t smile and doesn’t like socialising. And well, chicks dig that. At least the unnecessary Shagufta (Aditi Sharma, winner of the Reality TV movie star hunt that we have long forgotten). Amidst all the chaos and the mounting tension of D-Day approaching, Numair however gets his conscience awakened and is now on the horns of a dilemma, whether or not he should go ahead with his plan of action. His fundamentalist belief gets hit by the secular ideologies of Prof.Mathur, and Numair has a change of heart.

The climax though wasn’t as satisfying as the movie which led to it. But leave aside the climax, the somewhat LOUD activism of Shefali Shah, B&W brings to the table, a film which talks of one of the most talked about things of the world -terrorism & counter-terrorism- and yet, our cinema fears to talk about it. Anil Kapoor is one of Indian cinema’s most under-utilised actors, and with Prof.Mathur, he proves his mettle yet again. I love seeing him speak and I believe in his words. But more than that, I can see through his pain when he chokes in his grief and fails to utter a word. Give him all the awards for this one. Shefali Shah is over-enthusiastic, overtly hyper and oh that Bong-accent just sucks. I know she is a brilliant actress but please don’t overdo the good actress thing. Special round of applause for debutante Anurag Sinha as the silent and angry young Fidayeen. He plays it quite well, but I would like to stop at it. Becuase we all know that angry debuts just fade away with a chocolate second (remember Vivek Oberoi as Chandu in RGV’s Company, which reminds me-Where is Vivek, or is it Viveik?). Last but not the least, theatre veteran Habib Tanvir as the old Urdu poet somehow is the icing on the cake. His satire is perfectly matched with his histrionics and I feel elated to hear his knowledge being enveloped in his rhymes.

It is indeed a pleasure to watch such a beautiful thought-provoking film to have come out of the camp of Mukta Arts. It is more of a pleasure that it challenges each and every stereotypical formula of counter-terrorism themes.However, B&W is indeed preachy at parts, but is miles away from being cliched and shows that at the end of the dark tunnel, there is a beam of light, a light that can reflect radiant hues- and yes, terrorists can have a change of heart. And yes, life doesn’t exist only in the shades of Black and White; it also glows as bright as the lights of Chandni Chowk and the Red pride of the Lal Qila. Long live Secularism. Jai Hind!