by Sujoy on December 21, 2011
in Bolly
I get it. When you make a movie, you’ve got to pull every single trick out of your bag, to ensure that the junta laps it all up . After all, it is show-”business”. And so, it does not matter if you are making a movie on vengeance. In Bolly land, there is always some time for the hero and the villain to settle down to enjoy some flesh-appeal. And nothing’s better than a sexy siren, vibrating and gyrating at 50 Mhz. We’ve had that since Helen invented Bollywood cabaret with “Mera Naam Chin Chin Choo” . And since then, we have come a long way. The obligatory belly showcase, and the dhak dhak movements have been considered necessary elements. As well as the inclusion of a keyword, which helps in identifying the song almost instantaneously. e.g. Sheila, Munni, Babuji, Mehbooba, Monica, Humma Humma, and the list goes on, as long as the list for Item Numbers.
But even with all these checklists ticked, the formula for Agneepath’s formula item number – Chikni Chameli, couldn’t be more flawed.
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Now, I have been having quite an idle time. And when I am faced with such a situation, my mind wanders around thinking of just randomly awesome things, trying to quench my “khujlee” for “nirmal anand“, which I have no control on. Now, I cannot mention all of them, as I can’t remember most of them, and those I do remember either are too strong [read: X-Rated] to be mentioned here, or just don’t make any sense. But, idle daydreaming can also be quite fruitful. In this case, what I have come up with is a possible script of a kick-ass Bollywood movie. Now, we have seen a lot of Zombie movies, and as you might or might not know, I love zombie movies. But we are yet to see any Bollywood director make a proper Zombie movie. The keyword here is ‘proper’. Yes, we have seen live actors sleepwalk through a whole movie (*cough* Sanju Baba *cough*), and wooden faces which can corrode a zombie (*ahem* Mimoh!!). But we are not talking Ramsay face-painted monsters, or Vikram Bhatt’s lineup of monstrous unintentionally comic actors. Zombie business is serious shit. And to suit everyone’s taste buds, I am presenting you three different takes that Bollywood can adopt as its own spin on the Zombie movie genre. The sole purpose behind this post is to generate some collective creative juice so that we can get a much needed break from the deficiency of fresh new ideas. So here are..
** 3 Ideas for The Next Bollywood Zombie Movie **
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by Sujoy on October 4, 2011
in TV
When the world is busy fighting the evils of capitalism and the double-faced monsters of austerity, Viacom 18 and Endemol India have conjured up this much bigger evil of unleashing the Hydra version of Bollywood’s biggest slut – Shakti ‘Aaoo’ Kapoor, and has given him 11 “laundiyas” to play with. If you think that with that comment, I just objectified women, then you should check out how Colors is actually promoting it. Ladies and Gentlemen, quite against our initial apprehensive thought that this reality TV series would make it to its 5th incarnation, Bigg Boss Season 5 is here. And with national media covering every move, there is just no escaping this absolutely unnecessary and unwanted television show. Producers are just happy creating more TRP by means of the outrageous characterisation of the “Reality TV” versions of these “has-been” and “wannabe” celebs. And we as a nation, are happy to keep tuning in, no matter how much we continue to despise it.
Although I can’t believe that I am actually writing about something I absolutely hate, I have to keep reminding myself that this is for the greater good of stopping as many people as I can from watching this show. So, if you care to survive through this shit-storm, then hit the jump as we discuss through the Season premiére of Big Boss Season 5.
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All this 3D buzz that has been surrounding Hollywood studios since Avatar invaded the B.O. must have definitely started ringing bells in the Bollywood camp of producers. We can (or try to) forget the horror of Haunted 3D. I heard this rumor about RGV making a 3d horror flick called Warning. Of course Bollywood had its historical innings with 3D before all of this recent craze of 3D germinated. The first Bolly 3D movie was Jaggu Dada’s version of Zorro called Shiva Ka Insaaf. Just look at that flippin awesome poster.
And then of course, we all remember the all time kids favourite – Chhota Chetan, which was re-released with an additional item number starring Urmila. Don 2 is being given a retrofit 3D green light. C’mon George Lucas is doing it. So why not the Bokadias, the Chopras and Desais? Let thy imagination fly! Here we go again, making yet another list. I don’t think you’ll really agree to this list, but what the heck. You know this post would definitely be worth it. So hit the jump and let the feast for your eyes begin.
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