The janam-janmaantaro ki pyaas ( closest English translation: The thirst of ages ) is going to be quenched with this Baap of all sequel posts. This was demanded since the first snake charmer from the gang of Samri was killed in the dark realms of the Purani Haveli. And before all of this mish-mash of lovely sounding words start dismantling into meaningless pieces of guano, let me cordially welcome you to the Return of the Top 20 Villains of Bollywood aka Top 20 Villains of Bollywood – Part 2 (Nope, we are no SrBachchan to yell out Dwitiya). Jaani, if the first list [ read here , if you haven't ] left you high and dry, this one should definitely leave you stoned and soaked in awesomeness. We @ OKS are so committed to bringing you all the desi-awesomeness, that we have gone back and dug out these jurm ke pujari, brashtachari, durachari and those who never say sorry (obligatory Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro reference). Bollywood owes a million and one titles to these villains, coz they are the ones inspiring titles like - Zaalim, Kutte, Kaminey and the like. So, show some respect for ..

*The Next Top 20 Villains of Bollywood*

20. Captain Andrew Russel (Paul Blackthorne) – Film: Lagaan

Achievements and Activities: Daft prick with a “khujlee” for cricket. He’s your stereotypical British Raj dude who oppresses the ‘praja’, torments the ‘Raja‘  and even tries to play daddy with his own sister.  Totally underestimates Indian cricket skills and gets answered well..in the face.

Why is he on the list? One of the main purposes of a villain in a Bollywood movie is to torment the good ones, the hero of the movie, and finally make us feel good when the hero defeats him in a ‘up-yours’ kinda climax. Capt. Russel ticks all those boxes and then some more. It’s the best kind of feel-good scene when we see villains lose. And c’mon admit it, you jumped on the couch/chair when you saw him catch the ball, but it was outside the line. Ok, maybe it was just me then!

19. Ghajini Dharmatma (Pradeep Singh Rawat) – Film: Ghajini

Achievements and Activities: He is a cross between Lotiya Pathan and Rama Shetty. Complete nutcase in terms of what he can do in the name of violence. Wears a pathani suit like Lotiya and is a cunning bastard.

Why is he on the list? Remember the scene when he kills Kalpana(Asin) with that sledgehammer. Is that good enough for you? Ok, I’ve got some more reasons. As a North Indian dude, Ghajini Dharmatma has some really bizzare dialogues to keep us entertaining. e.g. Thaari Yaaddaas to Badee Kamjor hai

18. Ajay Sharma (Shahrukh Khan) – Film: Baazigar

Achievements and Activities: College romancer with nerdish charm, Contact lens manipulator, Car racing expert with a twist, Voice vibrator perfectionist. Can make girls – both sisters, fall in love with him. Can swallow whole photographs. And can playback to Kumar Sanu, Anu Malik in the same song, and Vinod Rathod in another.

Why is he on the list? I know people who consider Ajay Sharma as a grey character, rather than completely evil black. But, even if there has been a lot of injustice and atyachaar on him and his Babujee, there is no way to justify his killing of Seema (Shilpa Shetty, before her nose job and eyebrow trimming job). Revenge should always be one-on-one, and should not involve anyone else. C’mon. Villains ke bhi Usool hote hai – Section 26 of the Bollywood Villains Act. Ajay Sharma totally disobeys this law.

17. Jayshree T, Kunika, Kalpana Iyer, Reema Lagoo – Hum Saath Saath Hai

Achievement and Activities: They are the Barjatya- Rajshri films version of Balaji’s Komolika. So they have nothing better to do with their lives than bitch around, poke their dirty noses into other people’s family matters and create unnecessary chaos. And poor Mumta (Reema Lagoo); she is just a dumb ass who is an easy victim to these modern day ‘Mantharas’.

Why are they on the list? Don’t you see it? This is a modern-day Ramayana. Manthara instigates Kaikeyi. Similarly, this trio instigate Mumta, and hence, resulting in the Banvaas of Prabhu Rama – Vivek (Mohnish Behl). It is very easy to fall into the trap of announcing the villain of Ramayana to be Raavan, but don’t you think Manthara, and hence, Kaikeyi are to a large extent, villains of the tale too. Okay, I am clearly offsetting into a different direction altogether. But yeah, this trio make it to the list because of the Manthara parallelism. Also, what a perfect casting – look at their hideous make up to see how awful they look and how their awfulness just multiplies when they are together. And sorry, I couldn’t fit in Reema Lagoo into a single frame alongside the three witches.

16. Rajkumari Suryalekha (Amrita Singh) – Suryavanshi

Achievement and Activities: Pretty much what Maharanis do. She’s like this desi-Cleopatra and she gets what she wants – by hook or by crook. Mostly by crook. Pyar ki pyaasi, Vikram Singh ki daasi.

Why is she on the list? The Mahal, harems and all that! Man, to be a princess meant easy access to everything and a lifetime membership to everything and an unlimited card of Walmart. Imagine a BC (not the desi gaali, but the original abbreviation) version of Paris Hilton meets Lindsay Lohan meets Britney Spears minus the good looks of all of them. Add some shimmery walls and ceilings and reflective golden jewellery. And some spitting lines – you know the kind which can only be heard with an umbrella in front of your face [think Satish Shah in Main Hoon Naa]. e.g. Thhhuuuum mujhe chhhhoddhh ke naahiii jaa saktheeee..And most importantly, her badassery is kinda immortal – it spans across two reincarnations, and continues to haunt Sallu bhai. Anything that does that better than Aishwarya needs to be on this list.

• No.15 -11 Here.

• No.10 – 6 Here

• Top 5 Here

Prior to the year 2001, Indian cinema screen space was primarily occupied by the run-of-the-mill popcorn entertainers, mildly interrupted by the multiplex movie – an attempt to cater to the urban audiences who were fed on MTV, Star World and international sitcoms. The Bollywood blockbuster had turned into a potion of ingredients best known to the ones who incorporated the star sons and daughters, copied scripts from Hollywood blockbusters, diamond merchant producers and South Indian technicians into the perfect recipe. Most often than not, these recipes failed, with only those suceeding at the Box Office which genuinely appealed to both classes as well as masses. The top list from the entire decade of the ’90′s-produced’ blockbusters consisted of DDLJ, DTPH, K2H2, KNPH, HDDCS and other multi-worded titles, delving deep into the world of romance and romantic storylines spicened up with sub-plots of obstacles to romance such as a father who is never pleased with a love marriage. The time was nigh for the recycled storylines to be discarded and to embrace new ideas and challenging scales of storytelling.

The year 2001 marked the rising of a new sun in the horizon of Indian cinema. June 26 2001, things were about to change dramatically. LAGAAN was released and in every sense of the term, it was a game-changer.

In this post, I will be  discussing about LAGAAN and how its influence can be seen in today’s Indian cinema. The magical glow of this cinematically brilliant masterpiece still shines bright even today, 10 years after its release, and here’s why.

THE SCALE:

Let’s first focus on the sheer scale of this project. Now, I am not at all saying that grandiose elements have been absent from Bollywood. Right from K.Asif’s palatial sets in Mughal-E-Azam to the very 90′s Nitin Desai and Sanjay Bhansali Rajasthan recreation Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Bollywood has always been renowned for its ‘larger than life’ image. Even in family dramas of Karan Johar, the main hall staircase would beat the British Museum staircase hands down. But that is not quite exactly the same kind of scale that I am talking about here.

Lagaan’s scale is depicted in terms of its magnitude of imagination. The canvas for this painting spanned from the Victorian palaces in the British Raj period, to the rural huts made of clay in Champaner. The villages and their daily lives, the law and order system managed by their Sarpanch and Panchayat, and also their loyal service to the Maharaj of Champaner is depicted effortlessly in the background without any dialogues. The oppression and tyranny by the Raj is narrated to minute scenes that weave in seamlessly. And the beauty of rivalry shines through the arrogance of Capt.Russell and the heroically challenging nature of Bhuvan.

And there is the ensemble cast laid out as smartly as a masterstroke. A brief description of the wonderful cast can be read in my other Lagaan post : The LAGAAN ensemble – LAGAAN XI and more.

The second big scale that I am talking about is obviously the extras that were brought from various villages to be featured on the climactic showdown moment of the movie. It is now famously known as – The day of the 10,000. The logistics involved with handling 10,000 villagers, their food, their clothes, their exact placement and of course the desired execution of the scene – that in itself deserves a big round of applause. It indeed is awe inspiring for future generation of directors to attempt something similar or on this scale.

It probably even enabled Ashutosh Gowariker to be able to dream of bigger projects such as Jodhaa Akbar.

OSCAR HUNGRY KYA!

LAGAAN made it into the final 5 nominations for the Foreign Film category after a very long absence from the list. The last Indian movie to feature on the final 5 list was Mira Nair’s Salaam Bombay in 1988. With this ‘victory’, it certainly opened up Bollywood to the international market more than before. People became more and more curious about the Indian film industry which apparently churned out more movies than the better known Hollywood. Back home, things were changing. Over the next coming years, contending for the Indian entry for the Oscars became more than just a movie competition. Things even took a political turn.

Just have a look at the list of Indian entries for the foreign film category in the 90s – It includes one Malayalam movie (Guru), 5 Tamil movies (Anjali, Thevar Magan, Kuruthipunal, Indian and Jeans- jeez! what were the selection committee smoking? ), 4 Hindi art-house movies ( Bandit Queen, Rudaali, Earth and Hey Ram) and just one Bollywood mainstream movie – RK Films’ Henna.

I believe that I am not wrong to say that ever since Lagaan made it into the final 5, the perception of Oscar being the ‘unattainable’ awards has faded. More and more movies invested in making themselves visible, not only to the NRI audiences but also to anyone and everyone who loved cinema. The global image of Bollywood had dawned. No, I am not saying it all started with Lagaan, but Lagaan surely was a huge step forward ( at least from sending Jeans to the Oscars).

TECH-NICHE:

In one of the interviews, Aamir Khan commented about how Aditya Chopra and Karan Johar (both accomplished directors in their own rights) warned him to keep away from two things in Bollywood whilst making movies – single schedules and sync-sound. Aamir now looks back at that comment and replied that these directors now implement the same techniques in their movies.

For the uninitiated, single schedule means shooting the entire movie – from start to finish – in a single schedule. Typically, that would mean every single cast and crew member to be completely committed to that single project at that time.

Sync sound means recording the sound as and when the performances are been recorded. In other words – no dubbing.

Both of these techniques were infamous for the various challenges they posed in terms of managing teams, crews, cast members, and delays etc. LAGAAN’s single schedule shooting was located in the remote village of Bhuj in Gujarat. The challenges with the windy weather, the heat, and all crew members being together at one single place meant that the assisting team had a massive project management task in their hands. And it almost is a lesson for aspiring filmmakers. I vividly remember Asst.Dir Apoorva Lakhia saying it in the making documentary – This is going in my resume

KAHANI THODI HATKE:

Let me try to give this a shot – A story of British ruled India where villagers of Champaner are taxed. It hasn’t rained for the last two years and hence farming hasn’t been very fruitful. A group of villagers led by Bhuvan visit the palace to appeal for tax relaxation. Arrogant British Captain Andrew Russell challenges Bhuvan and his villagers to a cricket match –  the stakes are – tax free if they win, or else three times the original tax. Bhuvan accepts the challenge, and with help from Capt. Russell’s younger sister Elizabeth (who is secretly in love with Bhuvan) overcome all odds to win.

But LAGAAN is so much more than just that. Under the main storyline of the victory of underdogs over obstacles, the many layers of complex human interactions in Indian society is also one noteworthy aspect of LAGAAN. Bhuvan’s strong opposition against caste division or the terming of a human as ‘achhoots’ is as heroic as the big victory itself. Gauri’s undying love for Bhuvan, even when the entire village is against him is what love stories are made of. And Elizabeth’s unrequited love is a tragedy on its own.

When Aamir heard it the first time from writer Ashutosh Gowariker, he said that Ashutosh had gone bonkers and such a movie couldn’t be made.

Compare this story with those of the 90s blockbusters.

DIL, Saudagar, Sanam Bewafa, Raja Babu, DDLJ, Raja, Raja Hindustani, Ishq, – Boy and Girl first fight, then fall in love. Parents are total bitches who won’t give in. But then badass Romeo and kickass Juliet triumph eventually.

Aaj Ka Arjun – Gori Hai Kalaiyan, Oppressor Thakur and rapist brother get Hero’s sister pregnant, Baby Guddu plays the Hero’s nephew, and Hero takes his Badlaa. <insert Maa Kasam> The above elements can be re-arranged in various combinations to reproduce as Koyla, Narsimha, Ghayal etc.

Get the point?

Of course, there were the Abbas Mustan suspense movies as well as the Mani Ratnam gems once in a while. But the traditional Bollywood plotline no longer existed. It was time for love stories to explore more than just revolting parents, and movies to explore the world beyond Karwa Chauths and Sangeet ceremonies.

AAMIR KHAN PRODUCTIONS:

One of the most important outcomes from the success of LAGAAN was the formation of one of the strongest movie production company of Bollywood – Aamir Khan Production. With the success of Lagaan, the movie company emerged as a powerhouse of movie making, equipped to make cinema with its heart in the right place and its eyes set on the target of creating brilliant cinema. The track record for the company has so much to say for itself – movies that succeeded LAGAAN’s mantle – whether as regularly Bollywood romantic as Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, or the poles apart documentarish – Dhobi Ghat, or even Aamir débutante directorial feature – Taare Zameen Par – with every movie the company has just got stronger and stronger. Although this can be termed as a passive impact of Lagaan, it should be noted that hadn’t LAGAAN succeeded the way it did, the future of Aamir Khan productions would have been questionable.

But above all these points, the biggest impact of LAGAAN was its sincerity towards its art. It was a collection of zealous individuals from all over the world coming together to create cinematic magic. Here’s just a taste of what the magic ingredients consisted of:

Bhanu Athaiya: Oscar winner costume designer, who designed costumes for the villagers as well as the Royals, and the British Captain Russell, and his sister Elizabeth Russell.

Anil Mehta: Cinematographer, who found the ‘diamond imagery’ in the desert. There’s heat and the heat-waves, but there’s also the unforgettable golden sunset view.

A K Hangal: Probably one of the most famous character actors of Bollywood. As Shambhu Kaka, his two lines in the entire script, speaks volumes.

A.R.Rahman and Javed Akhtar: Music and Lyrics – for more of this magic, go here [ The Soundtrack of Lagaan ]

There is still so much to be said and so much to be discussed about this movie.

But I would conclude by quoting what Suhasini Mulay ( who plays Yashodamai, Bhuvan’s mother) said in the making of Lagaan documentary – We ( the caste and crew members) are all misfits. In a society which works in the 9 to 5 work shifts, we are definitely misfits because we cannot work in that routine. We are lunatics who love this – making art.

God bless such lunacy exists for it made us witnesses to the magnificence of epic storytelling. If lunacy can indeed produce such gems, who needs sanity anymore?

[ This post is a part of the 10th anniversary celebration of LAGAAN , initiated by TheBollywoodFan, this is my contribution towards it.

Please check out my previous posts on Lagaan here:

• Soundtrack of LAGAAN
• The LAGAAN Ensemble - LAGAAN XI and more ]

There are not many movies in Indian cinema where you can name each and every character of the ensemble. It has been 10 years since the release of LAGAAN, and even so, the excitement and enthusiasm as well as the anguish and misery of the many characters of LAGAAN is as fresh and graphically vivid in my memory  as it was when I finished watching it the first time. The only other movie that can claim to have attained such a feat is (no points for guessing) the immortal blockbuster – SHOLAY. So why not reflect upon these colourful members who complete this massive painting of LAGAAN with their various shades.

Outside the LAGAAN XI:

Aakshvaani – Sutradhaar (Amitabh Bachchan)

The voice which introduces us to the world of Champaner, and also concludes the tale with the words – “Itihaas ke Panno mein kahin kho gayi hai” [ Lost somewhere in the pages of history ]

‘Maa’ – Yashodamai (Suhasini Mulay)

“Hey Ram! Bakhat se pehle hi khushiyaan!” [ Hey Ram, premature celebrations ]

The quintessential mother, but not Bollywood-ish. She sees the reflection of her lost husband in the courage and daring nature of her son.

[WARNING: Image heavy post ]

The King – Raja Puran Singh  (Kulbhusan Kharbanda)

“THAT’S called Kicking The Horse!”

The vegetarian King of Champaner, he is reduced to being a mere diplomat by the bullying forces of the Raj. The only thing he can do is comply to ever taxing demands of the Raj and deal with the arrogant Capt.Russell. The King’s jubilance in the villager’s victory is brilliantly depicted in his gesture, when he impulsively attempts to take off his pearl necklace to gift it to the villagers. Such a Royal!

The Old Man of the village – Shambhu Kaka (A.K.Hangal)

“Ye Tu Ne Kya Kar Diya Bhuvan” [ What have you done Bhuvan! ]

As the old man of the village, Shambhu Kaka has seen the ups and downs of life. He is very sceptical of the decisions made by Bhuvan, and hence questions him to reason his impulsive decision.

The commentator – Ram Singh (Javed Khan)

“Hum Jeet Gaye” [ We have WON! ]

He is the translator of Coach Elizabeth’s cricket lessons in English to Hindi. And when he is thrown out by Capt.Russell, he has a change in career to the loudspeaker holding first Indian commentator. His moment of jubilance gleams in his eyes and that mixed expression of happiness, celebration, disbelief and euphoria is one of the ‘moments’.

DESI-GIRL: Gauri ( Gracy Singh )

“ Bharosa hai mohe… tujh pe… tohri himmat pe. ” [ I trust .. you.. and your courage ]

She’s not the damsel in distress. She can very well take care of herself. She steers clear of the letches (Lakha) and knows how to go for her hero (Bhuvan). Although she does show lady-like characteristics ( as in being jealous when Bhuvan spends more time with memsaab Elizabeth ), but when it comes to love, she’s damn serious about it. She won’t let the memsaab hit the bell before she does, and can effortlessly make everyone jealous with her Raas Leela dance as Radha. Her undying love for Bhuvan is her strength as well as her weakness.

The coach – Elizabeth Russell (Rachel Shelley)

“Tum khel ke baare mein kya jaante ho” [ What do you know about the game? ]

The lady with the golden heart – she is what angels must be like. Even if it meant betraying her brother, her decisions are solely based on morality. She supports the right, and this meant that she’d give cricket coaching to the villagers, sometimes in a very secret service kinda way. But she remains unlucky in love. What a tragedy!

THE LAGAAN XI

Sardar Sodhi aka Deva (Pradeep Singh Rawat, aka Ghajini) – here’s something which sums him up:

“Agar gend phenkoon toh teeno lakdiyan di dhajjiyan udha doon. Aur jo agar kheloon toh gend nu cheer ke rakh doon” [ If its balling, then all three wickets should be destroyed. If its batting, then tear through the ball ]

~ On second thoughts, do you think that Deva is a bit violent. All he can talk about is tearing and destroying.

The jealous Lakha (Yashpal Sharma), who’d go to even betraying his own village to put down Bhuvan, but then he has a change of heart and eventually becomes a convert to Bhuvan’s goodness.

The angst driven Arjan (Akhilendra Mishra) whose only medium to vent out his frustration is to hit the ball as hard as possible.

The naggy neighbour in Ismail (Raj Zutshi) who is troubled by Bhura’s (Raghubir Yadav) poultry. Bhura is the guy you wanna consult about fielding – LAGAAN XI’s Jonty Rhodes. [Thanks to Darshit for the heads up]

Ismail, Bhuvan’s bachpan-ka-dost, who is as competent in Gulli-Danda as Bhuvan himself.

Goli (Daya Shankar Pandey) – Weird bowling action, but gives away the surprise with a grunt.

The ever-colorful Baba Guran (Rajesh Vivek) with his signature full toss deliveries and prophecies.

Bagha (Amin Hajee) – The mute drummer; catching is not his forte’ but he eventually overcomes his own fear. Has a thing for prematurely declaring rain as well as air-drumming. He’s as angst-driven and impulsive as Arjan. Calm down boys! Shaant Gadadhari Bheem…Shaant!

Sasurjee – Ishwar Kaka ( Vallabh Vyas) – lacks in stamina but he’s also the health specialist of the team.

Spin baller Kachra (Aditya Lakhia) – Bhuvan predicts that the team will win because of his ‘phirkee’.

Mukhiya (Rajendra Gupta) who is always sceptical of Bhuvan’s decision, but also secretly believes in his vision.

And finally, the young and restless no.12 runner, Tipu (Amin Gazi) who gets run-out.

And the captains of the two teams: -

Captain / Apna HERO – BHUVAN (Aamir Khan)

“ Toh phir saari alag-alag ungliyan ki muthi ban jaaye Mukhiya ji” .

He is the dude. He’s the leader with a vision and in whom the village of Champaner rely upon. He is a bit impulsive when it comes to making decisions, but at the same time, he is level headed and knows how to achieve the goals. A charmer by nature ( C’mon he swooned both the Desi-Girl and Videsi-Laundee!), he is got exceptional leadership skills. He knows how to influence people and manage them. Not to forget his ‘Udit Narayan’ vocals and excellent choice in Dhotis. He knows his Hindu mythology very well (remember he explained how Lord Krishna and Radha weren’t married to each other). He is also progressive in mindset and hence, opposes irrational and orthodox cultures such as caste-division and stands by his decisions. Even the Mukhiya knows that Bhuvan is his successor.

Mr. BAD MAN – Captain Andrew Russell ( Paul Blackthorne )

” Dugna lagaan doge ki shart manzoor hai ? “

He is the arrogant British oppressor. The intoxication of power resides in his head, and he sees everybody as his slaves. He takes his cricket seriously, and would go to any length to winning it – especially when the stakes are high. So be it hitting opponents with bodyline deliveries to make batsmen out with hit-wicket, or employing moles to participate in the opponent’s team, Capt.Russell would do it all to win. A protective brother, and an even more proud person, it was indeed his excessive pride in his own talent which saw his downfall.

[ This is a post celebrating 10 years of LAGAAN. There is yet another post in this series to come, so watch this space . Special Thanks to TheBollywoodFan for his imense enthusiasm over the years for organising this annual blogathon event.  Re bhaiya.... Chhoote Lagaan! ]

I am going through a mental state right now. And hence, my ideas, my thought process and my interpretation of daily life is bizarre (even for me). It’s probably an after-effect of sleeping 5 hours a day, and watching too much sci-fi. For the uninitiated, I am a self-proclaimed geek ( I have a separate blog catering to that side of me – 9e3k ). Anywho, that bit of background information was necessary, because whilst recapping to 2000′s JP Dutta feature – Refugee, I have made some liberal changes in the name of creativity and the sole purpose of achieving ‘Nirmal Anand’.

Original synopsis: Refugee tells the story of two lovers from either side of the border. Abhishek portrays the lead role of Refugee, an illegal transporter facilitating families to cross the border. And then he falls in love with one of the passengers – Naaz (Kareena Kapoor ). And then they sing, they dance, they face conflicts from the border authorities, and eventually overcome all odds. And oh, she conceives a baby and has the delivery at the Line of Control. And if I can remember correctly, Suniel Shetty ( who plays this Pakistani army dude) names that holy place of delivery – Insaniyatstan. Epic Etymology.

Now with no disrespect to JP Dutta or to the entire team of Refugee, hasn’t that story of love been done a zillion time before? Ok, not a zillion times agreed ( there aren’t as many movies made yet LOL). How about we give Refugee, the much needed booster kick and convert it into an Epic Sci-Fi saga. In four scenes flat.

Scene 1: Lost in the desert between this universe and the other, is our female lead – Bebo.

Yes, she is cursed by a Timelord. Not Samay ( or Harish Bhimani),  but by a proper Timelord, who sucks out energy from her life-source. That is, the remaining time she has to live, is all converted into KiloJoules of energy, and she is stuck in this time-frame of 4 seconds. Poor girl.

Scene 2 commences after the jump.

Scene 2: Our Munda – Male Lead is a space traveller and also a mutant. He received his internship under Magneto himself, and with Mannaniya Adhyaksh Mahoday Magneto’s Aashirwaad, can bend not only metals and matter, but also time and space. A brief demo.

Yes, the ability to bend not only metals, but also  matter, time and space have been added for convenience of the plot. Creative Freedom you see.

Scene 3:  BEBO won’t trust Junior Bachchan. It takes two songs to convince her that indeed, Sadda Abhishek can break the curse. Bebo’s doubt is that if Abhishek is that powerful, then why is he not wearing an underwear outside and instead wearing a Pathani suit. Silly woman. No budget for costumes due to SFX budget. Anywho, after extra efforts of man convincing woman, an exercise is triggered, where North and South poles of the magnets situated in Abhishek and Bebo’s palms respectively, are joined and separated. This process is repeated 42 times *wink wink* !

Scene 4: Once the curse is broken, the only thing left is for the couple to kiss and make out and live happily ever after. But since this is a SciFi love saga, almost on the lines of Star Wars (but less politics and much lesser plastic soldiers), and also since we are intrinsically Desi peepuul, we enjoy our Bhangra at any occasion. So, here you go people. Let’s do the…..

JEDI BHANGRA

FIN.

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Share the love and awesomeness of this post using the buttons below. May the Force be with you. And someone please tweet this to Mr JuniorBachchan as well.

Ho Ho Ho.. Happy New Year 2011.

Yes, I have been lazy for quite a long time. Thanks to my extended innings with the amarettos, the proseccos and the vodkas and ..well that list is a bit too long. Anywho. OneKnightStands is back to begin a new innings in the new year of 2011, and I hope we  ( me and both of my brains ) will be able to entertain you and give you Nirmal Anand. And as I have been hibernating for quite a while, my brain has been stewing a few ideas, and one of which, is quite obviously, the Monday Meme. I hope to stick with this and make it a regular feature. For now, enjoy the first edition of Bollywood Monday Meme.

P.S. We are thinking of a new tagline for OneKnightStands, and we invite awesome suggestions. Anywho, here it is.

Another one after the jump. C’mon Hit it.

Hope you liked this edition of OKS Bollywood Monday Meme. We will be back with a lot of other fun posts. And again, Happy New Year 2011.

Remember Mr.Mathur in Mast? Arre, Aftab’s Papa, who goes to his wardrobe in the closing scenes of the movie, and stares at his hidden poster of Rekha, as the soundtrack plays on – Uske Sivaa, Kuch Yaad Nahi !!! Yes, to a whole generation of desi cinephiles and beyond, Rekha is an inspiration, an intoxication which has been making us ‘Mast’ for ages. She is beauty personified, and she is the personification of the word ‘ Heroine’. In a career which has spanned across almost five decades, she is an institution in itself. It is almost impossible to confine her body of work in just a list of Navrang ( Nine shades ). But here I am, doing that exact ‘khata’. The only reason to have my list restricted to 9 types is because of the existence of the word Navrang itself. And also, it looks a bit more clean, tidy and organised innit.

So here we go, ..

The Navrang of Rekha

1. The Chulbuli-cious

Of course, the one that stands out in this category is the awesome and bindaas Manju in Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s Khubsoorat (1980). Manju is a free spirit, whose infectious enthusiasm fills each frame of this movie with sheer joy and playfulness. Her intelligence is beyond comparison. She is well trained in Kathak, loves to rhyme, excels in Bridge and is sharp and spontaneous with her sarcastic comments. And oh, she is the love interest of the Doctor Baabu in the story too. Sigh! Manju –  Hui Baanwari, Hui Baanwari !

2. The Courtesan

Probably the most prominent image with which Rekha is associated, is the Courtesan or Tawaaif. Rekha’s peaks in her career can be unquestionably attributed to Umrao Jaan (1981) and Muqaddar Ka Sikandar (1979). Umrao Jaan for obvious reasons, was one of Rekha’s ‘one-woman-show’ performance movie. The songs of Umrao Jaan goes a step forward to showcase her onscreen diva status and her tragic portrayal of ‘lost-in-love’ Tawaaif won her many accolades including the National Award.

A few years back, her supporting role as Zohrabai in Muqaddar Ka Sikander was sort of a modern take on Sarat Chandra’s Devdas. Amongst all the Amitabh/Rakhi-Memsaab/Vinod Khanna tussle, Rekha as Zohrabai, yet again becomes the ‘lost-in-love’ tragic woman – much like Chandramukhi. And yes, very much like Chandramukhi, she does have her dance moment with Dev Babu, I mean Sikandar. Yes, the song which every single one of you know – Salaam-E-Ishq. The jalwa of Kishore da and Lata ji, in one of Kalyanji-Anandji’s best compositions translates into one of the legendary movie moments of all time.

3. The Sexy-oomph seductress

C’mon, this one’s pretty obvious. She has been and continues to be a sex symbol even today. Her naughty looks and bejeweled appearance in Utsav(1984) as Vasantsena ( also a courtesan), and her romantic courtship with Charudutt inspires Vatsyayana to write the Kamasutra – that’s like the flipping Bible of sex..or something like that. And then, in Mira Nair’s Kamasutra, she preaches and teaches sexual positions. Not to forget, even in her 40′s, she scorched the screen with her ‘In-The-Night’ performance with Khiladi Baba Akshay under the shower, in the mud, by the pool et al.

4. Her Royal Graciousness

Silsila has a lot to do with this particular ‘Ras’. Her Saris made my sister go mad, well, until Sridevi invaded that space with Chandni – possibly, named after Rekha’s character in Silsila. Her hair, her misty smile and all the shabang! And then, there’s Ghar - her rumored offscreen love with Vinod Mehra translates into cracking onscreen chemistry (I’m getting technical now). And then there are a zillion and a half images of Rekha, not related to any movie specifically, which highlight her limelight factor. Take a few as examples.

And then, she makes a heart-stopping appearance in Deewanagee Deewanagee – Om Shanti Om.

5. The Bad-Ass Avenger

I know this is BollywoodDeewana‘s favourite ‘Rang’ when it comes to Rekha, hai naa? Rekha has no apprehensions in turning around and transforming from a sexy oomph, or even a shy and coy bitiya, or bahu raani, to ‘your worst nightmare’ (ok, just don’t do that Stallone voice). She kicks ass in a very unapologetic way, and makes you repent for all the bad deeds you did, or the bad things you did to her, in this life or past ones. Good examples would be the crocodile-survivor turns into 80′s fashion icon, or as Rakesh Roshan named it – Khoon Bhari Maang. Man, that Kabir Bedi got some payback! And of course, there’s the horse-riding female cop which inspired Sarah Connor, Lara Croft and Xena – the Warrior Princess. I am talking about Ma’am Namrata ( from Phool Baney Angaray -1991 ).

There are many others in this category, but the ones which deserve a mention are the hilarious yet unmissable Madam X (1994) ( a must watch if you love 90s crap, just as much as I do), and Khiladiyo Ka Khiladi (1996) ( yes, where she handles Undertaker, and does that ‘In the Night’ song too ). Speaking of Khiladiyo Ka Khiladi, take this.

6. The Pyar karne waali/ marne waali / jalne waali

As far as love goes, she has not been quite that lucky with having a happy ending and living happily ever after with our hero dude. Zohrabai dies (oh noes spoiler? ) by swallowing a ‘Heera’, Chandni ends up with her a-bit-boring Doctor dude, and Umrao Jaan (sigh!) – her tragedy is that she has no words to express her misery. Then, in Ghar she is a victim of a rape incident, and her khush-pariwaar is turned upside down. But when she does get to show off her love, she does it like no one else could.

Take this – Pardesiya, ye Sach Hai Piya, Sab Kehte Hai Maine, Tujhko Dil De Diya ( no, noooooo.. stop thinking about Rakhi Sawant NOW!)

7. The not-so-conventional Bahu

Yes, she can be the ideal and very good Bahu-rani. But Sasu-Maa Bindu, if you try messing with her, you are in for a well reconciled payback. Case in point – Biwi Ho To Aisi. So, she might be the village belle who falls in love with your Sehri Beta, but she’ll bowl you over with her ‘Angrezi’ ( at the climax, obviously). And she’ll give tit for tat a new level of meaning.

Oh, if you thought she can only straighten up Saasu maa, then you couldn’t be more wrong. She also knows how to discipline her own Pati-parmeshwar and in the process, bring the family together. Case in point – Sansar. This is one of Rekha’s must watch movies..trust me. She almost single handedly tackles her ‘nihaayat-hi’ selfish Raj Babbar husband, in collaboration with Gangu Bai – Aruna Irani, arranges wedding for her Devrani Rajni ( Archana Joglekar), and all this while, there’s awesome father-son tussle scenes. [ I really need to do a post on Sansar. Someone send me the DVD please! ].

And not to forget, if her Pati is tormented by an evil-ex who is now a Ghost, she can totally bitch-slap her too. That’s the power of her Mangalsutra.

8. The Item number 1

You knew this was coming right? This maybe a subset of the seductress category (if you were to be really technical ). But c’mon. LOOK. AT. THIS.

And THIS.

And THIS.

And THIS.

Worthy mention – Amol Palekar’s dream – in Golmaal’s (Sapne Mein Dekha Sapna). Not strictly a item number, more like a guest appearance. And of course,

9. The Best Mother of ALL TIME

And last of all, Amma jee. With age, Bollywood actors do slide into the mother role routine. But she is no ordinary Maa. She is Maa of Scientist Rohit, and Grandma of Krrish.

She is Saritaji, widowed and single mother who raised two very naughty daughters.

And if you mess with her kids, you know she’s not gonna like you (Refer to that crocodile/alligator movie).

So there you go, those were the Nav-Ras of Rekha. And with that we come to the end of Rekhatober. I have worked really hard to create these GIFs, so if you share them, please credit me or my website for the same. Even if this is the end of our awesome Rekhatober, I will definitely be exploring more and more Rekha movies in the future. Thanks to all the lovely Bolly Bloggers who contributed to Rekhatober. All their posts can be found here. Hope you liked this post. Leave your comments, and kindly share the love by sharing it on Twitter, Tumblr, Digg, Facebook et al.

Cheerio!

With the invasion of Audio CDs and Mp3s and Winamp et al, gone are the days of painfully rewinding a song for exactly a mentally calibrated 1.5 minutes to get to the start of your favourite song to listen to it again. “MONO” was as standard as Dolby-Digital is now and even with these technological hindrances which possibly did not unleash the composer’s brilliance to the fullest extent, there were melodies which overcame these hindrances. One such melody is SD Burman’s “Ab Ke Sajan Saawan Mein“.

From Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s cutesy, romantic simplistic 1975 comedy Chupke Chupke, this movie has lots to flaunt about. A stellar cast – Amitabh Bachhan, Dharmendra, Sharmila Tagore, Jaya Bhaduri, Om Prakash, Asrani and above all – Keshto Mukherjee And whenever one mentions Chupke Chupke, Ab Ke Sajan.. is definitely one of the first things that cross my mind [ apart from Dharam jee's mind-bending Hindi vocabulary and his tussle with clever Jeejaajee - Om Prakash ].

I vividly remember hearing it for the first time on Chitrahaar and quite instantly, fell in love with it.And after almost 20 odd years, I can say for sure, that it wasn’t just a mere infatuation. After all, what’s not to love about it. The teasing, naughty chedh-chaadh lyrics by Anand Bakshi written in simplistic Hindi is a perfect example of how less is more. Check out the lyrics on the second verse..

One of my favourites melody wise, as well as lyrically -

Itane bade ghar men nahin ek bhi jharonkaa
Kis tarah ham denge bhalaa duniyaa ko dhokaa
Raat bhar jagaaegi ye mast mast pavan,
Sajan mil na sakenge do man ek ki aangan men
ishh..
Ab ke sajan saawan men…

The way Lata jee renders her playful vocals on the lines – Kis Tarah Hum Denge..Bhalaaa… is just a treat to the ears. Go on, listen to the song here : YouTube Link courtesy Shemaroo.

Tch..Tch..Sharmila... sigh!

And when the Tchh Tchh.. hits home, Sharmila Tagore’s naughty expressions flirt with me, you and everyone. Don’t you think?

Koi Shaq!

And smart-ass Jeejaaji – Om Prakash along with the rest of the world is left perplexed, awestruck and spellbound Now go straight to YouTube and listen to it right NOW. And come back to shout it out in the comments, when you first heard this, and how much you lurve it…Cheerio awesome people!!!

This section pays homage to those immortal single frames which have succeeded to create an indelible impression in our minds by their sheer excellence. Yes, no words, no moving pictures, no dialogues – just a single frame, and it speaks volumes. Jai Ho Bollywood!

And what better way to start Freeze Frame with the Diva herself. Just embrace her beauty and bow down Mr. to her gracefulness, Parveen Babi.

Her gracefulness, Parveen Babi

This frame is taken from one of the genre-defining movies of the 80′s – Shaan. Now, to discuss Shaan, I guess, I’ll require far more than a single post just because of all the awesomeness that is packed into it. But I am here to speak of this one frame. What story does it tell us? What tale does it depict?

Well kids, this is what Wednesday Chitrahaar climaxed with. This is what made Rangolis rangeela (colourful). And this is what made the One Knight STAND in absolute attention and salute to Indian cinema’s DIANA ROSS. Now, c’mon don’t be so sensitive that I compared her to someone else. You know it within you, that Parveen Babi’s Diva look was very much influenced by the Disco revolution of the 80′s. Yes, all the Boney M  and Bee Gees, and the shiny Disco Balls and the glittering outfit. Of course the dance moves and the microphone is all Diana.

Another interesting fact is that, Shaan was supposedly influenced by the style of Bond movies, The Spy Who Loved Me(1977) to be precise. And of course, who doesn’t remember the extremely popular Bond 77 theme from that movie eh! And club in Saturday Night fever looks, and we have indeed got the look of  Pyar Karne Waale.

But I am deviating from the point now. Parveen Babi’s Diva status is all personified in this one single frame. She embodies the sexy and sultry Bond-woman (not girl) image as well as the sophistication and seduction of a graceful popstar of epic proportions. Not only is this one of the highest points in her illustrious film career ( the other one being of course – Namak Halal ), but also one, which millions of her fans remember her for. And although Panchamda and Asha ji were the soul behind Pyar Karne Waale, Parveen Babi is not just be the face of the song. Even today when we hear that song played at a late night show on an FM channel, or watch it whilst randomly surfing through the telly, we stop and we see and we listen.

Want to relive that moment again, hit the jump and watch the video I say.

So, what did you think of my very first FREEZE FRAME. Shout it out in the comments. And do lemme know if you have any suggestions for future Freeze Frame posts or any posts. Cheerio!