Let’s put a smile on that face!

I had plans of writing a post on the anime feature: Gotham Knight before I wrote this review, but the last two days were spent in anticipation over the wait for the Dark Knight. And having seen the movie   today on the big screen, I don’t remember what I saw on the anime. Hell, I don’t remember what I saw in the previous Batman movies and once I walk out of the cinema, I get this feeling - that might be the best superhero movie, ever, if not the best movie ever ( Lee thinks so !!). And it is totaly worth all the hype, all the viral marketing, all the fanboism and hoopla at Comic Cons et al, coz it delivers. No that is not the correct word choice. Coz it overtakes your expectations, by glueing you to your seat, grabbing your collar and make you WATCH with your eyes wide open as the Joker giggles and the Batman glides.And guess what? Anyone who enters the theater with great expectations would leave the theater without the desire of doing so, wanting desperately to watch it a second time, a third time, or even more, with the stark realization that the word “great” in one’s expectations earlier is SORELY inadequate! There are reasons why movies like these need to be 2 hours and 32 minutes long. Because there is only one Dark Knight. Read the rest of this post »

The above pic is a G-rated one. For the PG-13 version, go here. Anyway,for the children of this age who have not been subjected to Joel Schumacher’s third degree torture, you are blessed. Because we have seen a multi-million franchise to have been lifted from being a campy TV franchise to a Gothic vision (by Tim Burton, which had its flaws, but we love it) and then just been destroyed..no BUTCHERED. Batman Forever was, as they say, the beginning of the end, and Batman and Robin was the last nail in the coffin (until it was ressurected by Nolan ). Still makes me wonder sometimes what was going through the mind of Joel Schumacher and the guys at Warner Bros when they made these two (the first one-Batman Forever in the year 1995-3 years after Batman Returns, and the second one: Batman and Robin in 1997). And I often imagine the following dialogues.

Joel: (while watching Burton’s versions) Oh Burton Burton..!! He must be so disturbed.Need more lights, more fluorescence. Ladies-Uma Thurman, Drew Barrymore, Nicole Kidman, beat that!! oh that lady in the Crying video. More Gay appeal. Clooney, c’mon you are sport enough to flash bat Nipples yeah!! And yeah, some good bulge as well. Robin, we’ll have a butt shot. And yes, Tommy Jones-we don’t have much budget, you have to do your own make-up. We’ll have the future Governor of CA as the cold villain. (Evil Laugh).

WB guys: Joel, consider Jim Carrey for the Riddler. The guy is insanely good.

Joel: Jim who?

The rest as they say is history. All that I write for the two movies here are based on the bleak and yet disturbed memories that I had after watching these two cinematic crap-bags almost 5 years ago. And no, I didn’t watch it again to blurt it all out. Just thought this one would be a good sequel to my previous post: Batman -The First Two. I promise to keep it short, and sorry no screenshots to grace this post. Read the rest of this post »

I can still remember the spine chilling grrl that came out of the mouth of Oswald Cobblepot. The white-skinned flippers, the gaze and teeth which had a “dark green toxic liquid” layer on them. That was 10 years ago, when I watched a glimpse of Batman Returns, and could not complete watching it because of reasons I cannot remember now. And even before that, a very young me was completely frightened by the horror of a smiling man. A face whose smile did not bring a sense of joy, but instantly meant evil. Such was the power of the Joker, that when I saw the newsreader girl fall on the floor and watch her face turn into a white smile, I went ahead and switched off the TV. And till date, I had not completely watched Batman-the first two. I can hear many wtfs in the background, but that’s true. And having survived through the worst two (which is the topic of the next post on OKS), a good amount of well written Batman Beyond series and of course Nolan’s darker,better and most mature treatment of Batman in Batman Begins, I really wanted to go back and finish my task of watching Tim Burton’s Batmans. This had been a pending job for me more than a movie watching thing, and I knew it wouldn’t be a better timing than watch it NOW, when the Dark Knight releases next week on July the 18th. So to officially begin with the week long celebrations for the welcome of the Dark Knight, Ladies n Gents, I give you: Batman -The First Two.

Screenshots after the Jump. Read the rest of this post »

\m/.Bollywood Rock has Arrived. And it is FULL ON.\m/

So we have it. The first Indian Rock Bollywood soundtrack. Ugh! I so hate to call it that. It is a Bollywood movie soundtrack-Yes! And it IS ROCK. How Indian? I can see no Indianization in it (except for the Hindi lyrics) and it is an all out-full throttle Rock soundtrack with no holds barred. No cliche’ sitar addition or an Indian classical solo on a distorted electric guitar in the arrangement of which Indian Rock soundtracks in Bollywood are known to be. Nothing wrong about them as well. But Rock On’s soundtrack is what it is-ROCK ON. It is somehow an Indian tribute to the many Legends of Rock that we have grown up listening to -AC/DC, Megadeth,The Who et al. And I know it for sure that Farhan Akhtar saw way too many concert DVDs before sitting down to sing for the soundtrack. The attitude, the grunge and the punch in the vocals comes through easily, and yes, get ready to be hit by the Vocals. And well, it might not be a totaly new sound for us Rock fans, who pretty much listen to it all the time, it is a big welcome change for Bollywood Music. And quite frankly, it seems funny (in a good way) to hear Hindi lyrics on a Rock Song. As always, I am gonna go the reverse way -Last track first.

But well, there is now a twist to it. The Last track is a Live version of the second track in the album. SO let’s go for it together. Track 2 and 8: Pichle Saat Dinon Mein - Farhan Akhtar on the vocals. I know it is Ehsaan on the guitars belting out the riff. . The lyrics is as silly as it could be , but well you don’t expect a very metaphorical referencing rhyme in a Rock Song-not this one. It is about what stuff the guy lost in the last seven days. And it contains things as trivial as a Laundry Bill, a lady’s phone number, a king of hearts from the deck of cards, and a silver ring. Pretty meaningless and irrelevant, unless we hear the organ sound in the background, the riff, and the chorus going Na Na Na Na Na!! And hold on it does contain the Lines- Maryjane ka ek packet, Meri Denim ka ek Jacket. And who did we say wrote the lyrics. Read the rest of this post »

You can take the Rathod out of Ranjhor, but you cannot take the Ranjhor out of Rathod

It is not exaggarating at all to say that this can be called the DIL CHAHTA HAI of the year. It is dew fresh, it is immensely enjoyable and entertaining minus any form of saccharine or sugar coated romance (which has been almost synonymous with Bollywood). JAANE TU is a breathe of fresh air with a ton load of mint. And the best part of it is, it doesn’t act as a tailor made launch vehicle for Imraan Khan (unlike the other debut releasing this week, yeah the 2050 movie) , but as a whole ensemble entertainer with the perfect choice of actors to play the characters- some unknown, and some very familiar. And oh yes, Jaane Tu is not the debut for Imraan only. It also marks the debut for Pratiek Babbar (son of late Smita Patil) and welcomes back to the screen -Anooradha Patel, Kitu Gidwani and frames Naseeruddin Shah as Ajay Singh Rathod in a painting. Beat that!

Now where do I begin. Of course, from the oil pastel effects when the opening credits are shown. Love all around you in different hues as Rahman’s Jazz settles you down. You need 5 seconds at best to feel it, the smile on your face emerges and you just know it, that this is going to be good. And good it is not, it is GREAT. Of course, we are by now swept by the melody of “Kabhi Kabhi Aditi” to that extent that I have become a bit repulsive to it. But the movie brought it all back. The movie also has a secret character in it- and that is BOMBAY- the roads wet with rain, and reflecting back the streetlights, the necklace at Marine Drive, Santacruz Airport, and well, St.Xavier’s picturesque Basketball court. I say -”Aise main Koi Kaise NAA Muskuraye” (How can one not smile at this ). The cinematography is simply put - brilliant. Read the rest of this post »

It goes without saying that Edward Norton’s Bruce Banner is more charming than Eric Bana’s. And well, this version of The Incredible Hulk works on more levels than the previous one.But then the poster to the left suggests as if Norton just walked out of the Ass gates of the Hulk…anyway.. Coming back to the Hulk, I am personally not a big fan of this comic character( I have my reasons for not calling IT a SUPERHERO) and to me, the HULK is just a complex character woven by Stan Lee ,inspired by probably Frankestein and Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. And well, what makes it cool is that Banner’s body is the host to Gamma Ray radiation -’mean green’ in color and ignited by RAGE. That is so Testosterone more than Adrenaline. And that is why, Hulk remains one of my least favorite.  But having said that, nothing is more cool than to see the green monster go berserk bashing around any damn thing lying around and do the Devil’s Dance. Ang Lee’s version was an attempt to keep the dance low key and project more of the workings of the monstrous mind. It worked for some, and didn’t for others (including me). Norton, Writer Zak Penn and Director Louis Letterier (Transporter 2, Unleashed)  however has plan otherwise. Since the trailers unveiled months back, we all knew this was here to undo the harm of the predecessor, and not only revive the Hulk franchise, but also in a way try to start it from a clean slate and show more Bam and KaPOWs per frame. And yes, it is more interesting when the Hulk is not challenged by the petty US Army, but by his equally strong radioactive nemesis. Read the rest of this post »

Reading Lee Sargent’s QuitYourDayJob blog on Friday the 13th (His post on the Top 5 Horror Flicks ) gave me this idea to just blurt out on what this day represents in Indian cinema. Nothing. And if you thought Indian cinema can be scary, I would say, YES for all the wrong reasons. Scary when it is least meant to be, and when we start discussing at length of all the scares that Bollywood (or more so, its step sister/ illegitimate child, the B-grade Bollywood or what we’ll call as Bbolly) has offered in all our growing years of watching cinema, we have had more laughs and eyes filled with tears while we rolled on the floor pointing our fingers (the index one) at the makeup peeling off from the lady’s ..umm..face while Viju Khote runs through the corridor lit in red light. I can still vividly remember almost each and every cliche that scary movies had to offer in those days when satellite TV was yet to invade our lives. The local cinema theater (here called Gopinath, dedicated to the many bunked tuition classes ) was the one which offered the best of entertainment as titillation was a complete no no on the only existing National TV network. The posters used to bear the best that the movie had and names that would bring any Ekta Kapoor serial to shame (in sheer length).e.g. Paapi Gudiya Ka Insaaf (The justice of the Sinful Doll, a nice take on Chucky). But then, there were the short and sweet ones too.Veerana, Kafan,Saamri, Darwaza and many more of that legion fall into this category. So by now, you must have almost got the idea that what I’m gonna talk here is all about the deep shit scary stuff, not the ones with Vidya Balan singing “Aami Je Tomar” or Urmila Matondkar being exorcised. What’s happening here is that we discuss the many rules that have ruled Bbolly Horror, rules like Black Hairs and Wet White Saris, Smoke,Rapes and Shakti Kapoor,not necessarily in that order.

Rule no 1: We have to begin with the name. Shakespeare said,”What’s in a name?” Little did he know that centuries later, we would call him “Hilti Hui Nashpattee” or even change the first half of his last name to a 3 lettered word ending with an X. Anyway, the point is, the name plays a very vital role in the product placement. Names like Bhoot(ghost) or Pretaatma (similar meaning) just won’t work in Bbolly. Bbolly demands for graphic explanation. Best example is the latest flick at Alankar cinema: Bachke Rehna Zara Bhoot Bangle Main (Stay alert in the ghost house). Other popular Titles include: Pyaasi Padosan (Thirsty Neigbour). Sorry that was not a horror flick. We have many names named after Havelis and Mahals and Bunglows.But the ones which make it to my list are, Khoon Ki Pyaasi Dayan (The Lady Ghost who is Thristy of Blood) and Haveli Ke Peeche (Behind the Mansion). Other formats include description of timelines (Bees Saal Bad, Sau Saal Baad etc. 20 years later, A hundred years later etc )
Corollary to Rule 1: If name is to be kept short, set the mood right.
Ask the Ramsays. They know it best when it comes to naming movies after ambience/environment.
Start with the sound, go for the building, then a specific room and then doors. Next add an adjective.Ghungroo Ki Awaaz, Daak Bangla, Tahkhana,Guest House,Darwaza,Bandh Darwaza.(The sounds of the Ghungroo, The Bunglow, The Dungeon, Guest House– that you got, The Door, Closed Door) That’s what I meant!! Read the rest of this post »

Sweded!

If you love the movies, you better watch Be Kind Rewind.I am completely swept, Sweded and absolutely blown away. And if I may say, this is what movies should be in the first place. Let’s leave the reviewing part for a while, and take this moment to praise the creative genius that Mr. Michel Gondry is. He has given us one of the most heart wrenching romantic movies of all time (Eternal Sunshine..) and here, he has set out to do a light hearted movie, casted Jack Black and Mos Def in the lead, which even has an uncanny premise to it. Almost silly you might presume. But what happens next is best described as Brilliant with a capital B. And I really don’t care what the ratings are, what the critics say. In a year where the movies are divided into two segments chronologically- Summer Blockbusters and Thanksgiving season, there comes a movie which retells the tale and brings the moral upfront- that movies were all about the heart more than the moolah. And mind you, it IS inspirational in ways more than a million.The plot is pretty much present in a lot of websites already, and so wouldn’t at all qualify as a spoiler if I mention it here. Neither would it matter, because you really HAVE to watch this one to get what I say. Now listen carefully James! Read the rest of this post »

20 years of waiting, and the Doc will see you now. Oh Doc Jones! You have more wrinkles now. Doc Jones, you have a new sidekick now who is a son as well. Can we call him Doc Jr? Why is the Ukranian lady trying to BE Ukranian and why is your son dipping his comb in Cola? Just too many questions, and I am not given any answers. Awright!!! I know Indiana Jones is one of those immortal characters that have been built on the basis of that boyhood daydream replete with fantasy worlds, deep secrets of lost lands and treasure hunts with adventurous journeys . The one we loved and perhaps can never be old enough for. But having said that, Indie has delivered them all in the previous installments and this one as well. But somewhere, somehow,the feeling creeps in that in these 20 years, the laziness of the filmmakers have taken over, which makes Crystal Skull just another big budget Hollywood no-brains matinee mayhem, even when we have the Gurus-Spielberg and Lucas steering the wheel.

As for the plot, here it goes. It’s 1957, and as the Cold War is warming up, the bunch from Soviet capture Doc Jones to find the secret package in the warehouse of Area 51. Flaw 1: Only 4 guards at the door of a high-secret facility. How convenient! (I think by the time I end this review, I am just gonna lose count) Anyway, the package contains the remains of a secret worthy of being kept in Area 51. Doc Jones then tries to escape the captivity of the Soviet bunch in an action scene which can be best described as lame, and then even manages to escape a nuclear explosion. We do come to know about the treasure hidden in the lost land of El Dorado which Doc deciphers from the note sent to Mutt by his mom-Marion Ravenwood, an ex of Doc. Mutt says that an old ally of his,Prof Oxley has been abducted while searching for a hidden Incan temple. And that is approximately where the story wraps up. What follows next is just a big hoch poch of ideas flowing in a turbulent wave from the brains of Lucas. You name it and they have got it here, to the point that you start feeling that the sole intention of the movie was to revive the franchise for the sake of it (and of course raking in big bucks). Speaking in the shortest way possible, I’d say the plot includes some of the most forgettable action scenes, grand sets with gold shimmering from every inch and yes, ALIENS. The plot gets so dodgy at times that you just want to get over with it. But yeh, you hold yourself back coz it’s supposed to be the Summer Blockbuster of the Year. Read the rest of this post »

I remember Strings to be one of the most exported band from across the border. Their music has been reminiscent with my college years, with my friend strumming the chords to the tune of “Anjaane Kyu” (which remains till date my favorite of the lot). It has been 4 years since Dhaani was out. Hard to believe. Feels like yesterday when we used to hum “Mil Gaya Woh, Jo Churake…“, but then, it has indeed been 4 years since. And the duo of Bilaal and Faisal have been busy doing Indian soundtracks (Zinda for example which is included in this album). So the big question is-Does Koi Aane Wala Hai make it up for the 4 years that these guys took to write these songs? The answer is a big NO. And what does it lack in? Originality for starts, a good sound for second and thirdly, melody. It is so pathetic that it sounds a wannabe album, even for the industry veterans that Strings represent. And yes, I shall deal with the tracks -one by one. But I shall stay mum about Zinda- coz that actually doesn’t belong to this album. And I can fight even the duo for that. C’mon, this is a recycled OST of a movie, (which itself is a recycled dump of a hippo) released two years back. So, argument won. Next is the order in which I have heard the CD. Last track first. Why? Because that is where you find the laziness of the creator. That is where mediocrity creeps in and that IS the first place to find compromise and may be sometimes what they call INSPIRATION.

Track: 12-Akhri Alvida. Sounds like a sequel of KK’s alvida- just the name. Play this one and you will realise, well Faisal and Bilaal have tried to fool us with this one. You know what, we do listen to Coldplay and we do know the song-Clocks. So what, this is just an inspiration you see. The piano intro, and the cello slides, and then Faisal in his signature vocals begins- Dhadkane Khamosh Hai Kuch Kehtee Nahi..and by the time we reach the chorus line- Ye Akhri Alvida Naa Ho- it takes shape of the famous guitar line portion from Fix You when Chris Martin starts running and enters the stadium. Get it. As graphically copied to the details as mentioned and 0 % exaggeration. Track 12- Yawn, lousy lyrics, bad copy. If we wanted to hear a Coldplay song we would. Don’t package it as Akhri Alvida Read the rest of this post »