Steal This Pitch: Bhaago Zombies Bhaago!

Desi Zombieland

Now, I have been having quite an idle time. And when I am faced with such a situation, my mind wanders around thinking of just randomly awesome things, trying to quench my “khujlee” for “nirmal anand“, which I have no control on. Now, I cannot mention all of them, as I can’t remember most of them, and those I do remember either are too strong [read: X-Rated] to be mentioned here, or just don’t make any sense. But, idle daydreaming can also be quite fruitful. In this case, what I have come up with is a possible script of a kick-ass Bollywood movie. Now, we have seen a lot of Zombie movies, and as you might or might not know, I love zombie movies. But we are yet to see any Bollywood director make a proper Zombie movie. The keyword here is ‘proper’. Yes, we have seen live actors sleepwalk through a whole movie (*cough* Sanju Baba *cough*), and wooden faces which can corrode a zombie (*ahem* Mimoh!!). But we are not talking Ramsay face-painted monsters, or Vikram Bhatt’s lineup of monstrous unintentionally comic actors. Zombie business is serious shit. And to suit everyone’s taste buds, I am presenting you three different takes that Bollywood can adopt as its own spin on the Zombie movie genre. The sole purpose behind this post is to generate some collective creative juice so that we can get a much needed break from the deficiency of fresh new ideas. So here are..

** 3 Ideas for The Next Bollywood Zombie Movie **

Read More

5 Things I Did Like About Ra.One [Review]

Ra.One review

Like the many reviews out there, my thoughts on Ra.One are also divided. On one hand, I have extremely strong complaints against the movie’s script and its many inconsistencies [ Check out my previous post – My 5 Complaints against Ra.One]. But on the other hand, there is no denying, that there is some amount of absolutely engaging good stuff here. This probably is a good thing for the movie’s future on BluRay or DVD, as we can straight away skip the shitty bits and watch the good ones. So in true Hollywood style, I present to you this sequel to my review – The Ying to the Yang ..the White to the get it.

If I were to be a crafty editor, this is what I’d suggest Ra.One to be – a coherent script which slickly travels through ..

**The 5 Things I Did Like About Ra.One**

Read More

5 Complaints Against Ra.One [Review]

Ra.One - Sharukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor

Ra.One was supposed to hit a triple home-run. Ra.One was supposed to melt me inside out with its massive scale and mindblowing shimmery effects. Ra.One was supposed to be not just good, but awesomely great, and pave the way for the future of Indian cinema to wake up and smell the digital coffee, rather than sit on that melodramatic Karwa-Chauth and Sagai flavoured couch. Of all the things, Ra.One did manage to possibly give a taster for the things that could be in the future. But at the end of it all, it falls way short of my expectations. Oh how much I wanted to like this movie, but even with the best of my efforts, this movie swings between the extremes of annoying slapstick and total wtf-ery. Of course there is a whole bunch of shit loaded in this vehicle which kept me engaged and entertained. Butthere is a whole bunch of absolute dog poo as well. The script is so flawed and mindless, that I can only facepalm at the thought that the talented makers spent almost 5 years to end up with a product like this. As a faithful consumer of this product, this is my open letter to the makers – Shahrukh Khan, Anubhav Sinha and the writers. Here are my 5 complaints against Ra.One.

P.S. I invite SRK fanbois and gals can actively protest and counter my points in the comments section.

**5 Complaints Against Ra.One**

Read More

Science Fiction in Indian Cinema – The Awesome List


Inarguably, Science Fiction is not a very popular genre in the land of the Indian film industry. The Indian film industry, as a whole, produces more than 600 films a year and not even a handful can boast to be in some way linked to this genre. This is quite embarrassing given the fact that majority of the Hollywood blockbusters have their SFX work outsourced from the country’s brilliant creative workforce. Of course, one can raise such arguments such as reincarnation or ghosts to be some sort of science fiction. Well, if that was the case, then we should rest it right now and crown Twilight fans aka tweens to be the scifi nerds of this generation.

Moving on, science fiction is about taking that flight of imagination into the realms of the unexplored and the unexplained, but still somehow governed by the laws of physics, chemistry and biology (and all of its sub-categories). And in the words of the great Morpheus – some rules can be bent, others, broken. Hollywood has been able to explore into the extremes of science fiction and has produced brilliant cinematic interpretations of some of the brilliant works by Arthur C Clarke, Philip K Dick and Isaac Asimov. And looking at the summer blockbusters over the last couple of years, science fiction has been the genre of choice. Why hasn’t Bollywood been able to replicate the same sort of success from scifi? Things might be changed when Ra.One hits the theatres this Diwali. After all, a good story is a good story.

Let me put forward my argument of the Indian movie scifi genre with a few examples. Some of these are wickedly entertaining and brilliant pieces of cinema. Others proved to be pure abomination. In this list, I will be discussing 5 such movies which grace the awesome list of SciFi in Indian Cinema.

Read More