Now, I have been having quite an idle time. And when I am faced with such a situation, my mind wanders around thinking of just randomly awesome things, trying to quench my “khujlee” for “nirmal anand“, which I have no control on. Now, I cannot mention all of them, as I can’t remember most of them, and those I do remember either are too strong [read: X-Rated] to be mentioned here, or just don’t make any sense. But, idle daydreaming can also be quite fruitful. In this case, what I have come up with is a possible script of a kick-ass Bollywood movie. Now, we have seen a lot of Zombie movies, and as you might or might not know, I love zombie movies. But we are yet to see any Bollywood director make a proper Zombie movie. The keyword here is ‘proper’. Yes, we have seen live actors sleepwalk through a whole movie (*cough* Sanju Baba *cough*), and wooden faces which can corrode a zombie (*ahem* Mimoh!!). But we are not talking Ramsay face-painted monsters, or Vikram Bhatt’s lineup of monstrous unintentionally comic actors. Zombie business is serious shit. And to suit everyone’s taste buds, I am presenting you three different takes that Bollywood can adopt as its own spin on the Zombie movie genre. The sole purpose behind this post is to generate some collective creative juice so that we can get a much needed break from the deficiency of fresh new ideas. So here are..

** 3 Ideas for The Next Bollywood Zombie Movie **

a) Comedy meets Horror:

Something on the lines of Shaun Of The Dead or Zombieland. You know, something like zombies on the loose in a Mumbai local train, and busy Mumbaiyyas not giving a shit, until one of them gets bit. And then, he bites the zombie back so hard, that he almost eats his eye out. Yep, it has to be gross and graphic, and gore has got to be not-toned-down and for a change, gut-wrenching. Of course, after that, the first bite victim would have to transform into a zombie himself, and start spreading the “rage virus”.

The story could be told from the perspective of a group of  South Mumbai slackers (like that Wake Up Sid gang), who have no idea of what is happening in the real world. And then, their parents and fellow college mates start vanishing. Best part here could be the inclusion of zombie outbreak on the sets of Bigg Boss (just like in Dead Set – which I’d highly recommend everyone to watch). Who wouldn’t love to see a zombie Dolly Bindra battle it out with a zombie Kamaal R Khan?? And our heroes could beat them up to pulp, quite literally. The group could even have some sort of a Zombie Kill Count.

Don’t tell about this to – David Dhawan or Priyadarshan.
My choice for the director – Dibakar Banerjee.
Background Score – Ram Sampath’s cracking grungy loud score.
Death count - 100+
Guest role zombie – Salman Khan, the host of Bigg Boss.
Proposed Title – Maar Maarke Laal Kar Dunga ( I’ll beat you until its red)

b) Horror:

Something on the lines of 28 Days Later on the streets of Mumbai. Or The Crazies in Delhi. Or the very awesome Dawn Of The Dead. This could be a very challenging job in terms of creating a perfect claustrophobic scenario. e.g. a whole movie (of 2 hours tops), set around a group of IT employees / call centre guys, all strangers, but getting back home late night from work – from Gurgaon to Delhi, only to see CP (Connaught Place) has been completely burnt down (since the army tried to bomb down the zombies).

Subplot- Another group of guys stuck in Delhi Metro underground, who cannot escape because the gates are shut, and their only way to survive is to stick together, even though there is clearly an ego clash ( insert a North Indian love triangle here). There has to be some casualties here, and a desperate need for night vision glowing eyes of the zombies. And of course, there has to be a religious fanatic inserted in the mix of the young and hip guys, who has her own spin on the story. And the slutty one dies first (but of course).

Don’t tell about this to –  Vikram Bhatt or Sanjay Gupta
Director of Choice – Ram Gopal Varma. The man made Raat, so all your arguments  are invalid.
Cinematographer – Binod Pradhan. He knows best how to show Delhi in an apocalypitc way. And also, that’d mean RGV would have to lose out the tilted camera technique. Also expect some shaky cam.
Background Score – Sandeep Chowta
Death count - All the main lead characters, especially the ladies. The chicken characters survive somehow. And there has to be some explanation about the outbreak. Possibly, an infected person from Singapore landed at IGI airport.
Proposed Title – Dead Delhi

c) Thriller/ Political Drama:

This is the most ambitious one in terms of idea. There will be only shots of the zombies through television screens in the form of news broadcasts. The focus here is on human drama, and how a quarantine camp arrangement in an apocalyptic world set in India would function. This should be something like Torchwood: Children of Earth / Miracle Day .

A zombie outbreak is a national emergency, and it would be absolutely interesting to see how the nation’s leaders would deal with it (given that we have the writers and the director making the best use of good actors and smartly written situations). Set in a near present Delhi, where the nation’s youngest Prime Minister ever faces the nation’s worst nightmare. The President has already been bitten on an aeroplane. But that is not the worst of it. How would the law and order system work when we have a nation of a billion, and almost 30% infected due to some virus spread by biting? And the count is increasing. Joint families trying to hide their loved ones, even when they are being bitten, and armies forcibly taking them away. Politicians taking care of the rich and the powerful to be kept in secured location, and a journalist leaking the story to the masses who are trying hard to survive through all of this. Aaj Tak is still the fastest news breaking channel. Also, a gangster chain operated by an ex-Army guy, who is smuggling people into these secured locations.

Don’t tell about this to: Subhash Ghai or Sanjay Leela Bhansali
Director of Choice: Neeraj Pandey or Raj Nidimoru and Krishna D.K.
Background Score: Amit Trivedi
Death Count: Reported many, none shown onscreen.
Proposed title: Rashtriya Aapatkaal (National Emergency - think about it. The story of a zombie outbreak, told through a sting operation on the nation’s leaders. Of course, there is no democracy to be spoken of, but who in their right mind, would like to lead a nation at such a moment, instead of saving their own asses).

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Spread the word right now using the buttons below, so that someone in Bolly land can pick up these ideas and translate them onto screen right away. Of course, me being a non-trained scriptwriter, there is an amalgamation of a thousand ideas which are thrown in the mix here. If someone intends to clean them up to produce a more cohesive plot, be my guest. If you are connected to any filmmaker, film magazine which can make these ideas get flashed in front of the right people, please feel free to do so (and a little credit thrown at my end would be very welcome). As always, comments and criticism are always welcome.

My education of Korean cinema is limited to Chan Wook Park’s Vengeance trilogy [ Read my review of the Vengeance trilogy]. Of course, besides that K-movies are known worldwide for their indulgence with romance and rom-coms. However, director Shin-yeon Won’s crime thriller ‘Seven Days’ starring Kim Yunjin [ of Lost fame ] is a gloomy and dark tale revealed in a who-dunnit fashion. But the after effect of the movie is more thought provoking. And that is where Seven Days scores. It is a movie beyond the 125 minutes that it plays. Yes it is a relatively long movie, but the tension never loses grip and when the climax hits you, you leave still trying to fit together the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle.

The movie begins with criminal lawyer Yu Ji-yeon’s daughter getting kidnapped. The ransom demanded by the kidnapper is to defend and prove a rapist-murderer as innocent within the next seven days. The only ally that she gets is a cop friend while the murder victim’s mother and a corrupt would-be politician want the murderer to be executed. What follows next is a mind-boggling list of puzzles being revealed clue after clue as the body count keeps increasing. And wait till the end when you get the mother of all twists (pun intended, to understand it, watch the flick)

So what did I like about the movie?

A list of many things. Kim Yunjin playing the desperate mother trying to compose herself proffessionally to achieve what has been asked of her to deliver is really painful. The desperation of a mother to keep her daughter alive by proving a criminal as innocent gets a bit too far fetched. And you start questioning about why did it take so long for the loophole in the legal system to be revealed. I guess the judge wasn’t conversant enough. But ignoring that minor loophole, the rest of the movie is a roller coaster ride.

The title credits reminded me of Se7en and even CSI. Skin scraped and supervised under UV light, stitches and autopsy, finger-prints and of course dried blood on skin. This movie does not hold back at all. So if you are easily disturbed by such visuals, do have someone to assist you. But again, this is no Saw. The cinematography is a treat to watch and the snazzy editing makes the narrative absolutely crispy.

At the end of it, you do try to question the rationality of all the pain and toil of the kidnapping [ A plot point which I am not going to reveal ]. It is a genre-bound thriller nonetheless which retains its charm and positive tone [ unlike Se7en's climax] through the radiant charisma of Kim. She effortlessly carries the film on her shoulders and actually made the film more worthwhile. Not to forget the consistently performing supporting cast of the victim’s mother and the murderer himself. So if you expect a slick Aisan thriller, Seven Days is clever and yet sometimes dumb, but definitely entertaining cinema. Do watch it, at least for Kim Yun-jin.

Special Mention: ShoutOut @Nicki of ApunBindaas who gifted me this DVD.

Lemme begin with ..Oh Torchwood! What an experience it has been for me! Five episodes on five days..back to back. It has been such a roller-coaster ride mixed with extreme emotions and juxtaposed with intensely gripping drama and also posing some absolutely disturbing themes. Torchwood’s latest series – Children of Earth could not have been better. But yes, for all the people who keep expecting for yet some more [ people like me], there is so much more left to be craving for. Coming back to Torchwood, what made me glued to the screen was the intense human emotions associated with a horrible horrible situation. God forbid, if we *ARE* faced with such a situation, I really wonder how the current global leaders would handle it. It is a huge comment on the global political scenario and also most importantly, how the US feels left out and suffers from an inferiority complex when an Alien invasion scenario occurs in central London, rather than NY or San Fransisco.

Series synopsis:

Day 1: Lets have a quick rewind of what happened previously [15 months sabbatical to be precise ]. Death of 2 regular characters in the finale. The Torchwood team this series remains limited to Ianto, Gwen and Capt.Jack .
Flashback to 1965 Scotland – A close encounter with Aliens and 12 children walking towards an enormous beam of light. Flash forward to present-day where all children momentarily freeze, simultaneously.  …
The next level – Children scream out at an extremely screeching pitch, followed by repeating the words -”We Are Coming”. The Torchwood takes notice of the phenomenon whereas the UK Govt. headed by the PM -Mr.Green and Home Office civil servant- John Frobisher, aware of the event as a work of “The 456″  as an alient contact with which they dealt in 1965, wants to cover up their historic events. We also meet Clement MacDonald, the old-man with the psychic sense of smell, who is actually one of the 12 children who escaped the 1965 encounter with the 456.

Series of questions were raised after the first episode. Questions like – What happened in 1965 Alien abduction and what do the aliens want now, 44 years later?  What happened to the Kids of 1965? And why are the kids used as a vessel for broadcasting the message – We Are Coming?

Day2: The government decodes the message from 456 to build a poisonous chamber.  The government in their attempt to cover up the events of 1965, have destroyed Torchwood hub, and is on a rampage killing spree of all the Torchwood members. Ianto and Gwen have survived and are on the run, whereas Capt.Jack is dead (again). Pregnant Gwen is with her boyfriend Rhys, and they try to get back on their feet to create another Torchwood office so that they can deal with the 456 threat that they have discovered. Capt.Jack is back from the dead, and now being contained in concrete. Gwen and Ianto manage to free him with the help of Rhys, and Torchwood team is back in business. While all this was happening, the children reassure – We Are Coming Tomorrow.

Day 3: Stealing credit cards, new laptops, a new jacket for Capt.Jack and bam! we are back to Hub2 of Torchwood. Rhys is cooking some yum yum nom nom! The children of the earth now show some more features, pointing towards the centre of London. The 456 now descend and have no issues from being referred to as the 456. Poor Mr.Frobisher was forced to be the spokesperson for the planet’s government and trying to negotiate the secrecy of the 1965 events. And with the help of brand Torchwood contact lenses – which also can broadcast video [ a Sci Fi gizmo successor of the Mission Impossible glasses ], all the events inside the MI5 negotiation room were being recorded by Torchwood. And  Gwen,Rhys, Ianto and Clement are enjoying this from the comfort of their secret warehouse. But when Jack appears, Clement recognises him as the man who handed over the kids to the aliens in 1965.

Day 4: Now this is huge. This will be remembered as the episode where Ianto died. Also coping with extremely tough decision making, the global political leaders have to come up with a solution to meet with the unacceptable demand for 10% of the world’s children. The fate of the children is also revealed when a cameraman is allowed inside the gas-chamber, revealing a child being hooked up to the alien as some kind of an energy source. You think that was disturbing? The UK Govt. is still hunting down Torchwood, but Torchwood has the events recorded and is using it as an evidence ready to be made public. Torchwood wins, and Capt.Jack and Ianto take control in the negotiation room, where they scream out jingoistically , that they will not be handing over the children and will fight back. The 456 is upset, and it releases a virus, killing a lot of people in the MI5 building, including Ianto (

Day 5: After the previous night’s events, all I had in mind was, will the Govt. or Torchwood be able to come up with a solution, and what would that be ? Rumors were floating all around of the possibility of the Doctor to beam up and saving the day. But it did not happen. And what happened made me extremely sad. The series was just monstrously creepy on many levels. The 456 revealed that it did not need the children to survive, but just as a snorting drug – “Children are GOOD” [Michael Jackson anyone]. The PM orders Frobisher to make a public broadcast of his own children being innocuated and then taken away in the bus. Unable to cope up with it, Frobisher shoots his own family before commiting suicide. On the other hand, Gwen, as a last tribute to Ianto, has a mission of saving Ianto’s nephews and neices and their neighbourhood. Yes, the world was saved; by Captain Jack, assisted by the creepy ol Professor, but at a huge cost of Capt.Jack’s grandson. And no, the Doctor did not appear.

To Sum It Up:

Russel T Davies has given us such a deeply moving series of Torchwood which has made me cry, two nights in a row. To begin with, I must say that the entire portrayal of how the politicians would tend to handle such a situation is creepy and extremely shaking. One of the most uncomfortable scenes in this series is not the poisonous gas chamber. Rather, it is the boardroom where all the politicians have gathered to discuss how to meet with the demand of giving away the 10% of worls’s children. The boardroom buzzes with methods and techniques, and how everyone is after saving their own skin even under such circumstances. The discriminating criteria of choosing the unwanted 10% of the society and protecting the future prospective work-force on grounds of their schooling background was very disturbing. The thought of being compelled to give up children in itself is horrifying, and even when Capt.Jack has to make the choice of giving away his grandson , does it justify to give away one child to save billions? Was that Capt.Jack’s atonement for handing over the kids in 1965? It kinda reminds me of the Jap-movie “Battle Royale” [a movie which can be termed- awesome awesome awesome].

The picturisation of hundreds of children freezing on the streets to either utter something in unison or just plain screaming is creepy. What would happen if children on Monday were to imitate this whole season. For sure, this would make a helluva creepy YouTube video, much like the Grand Central freezin or the Trafalgar Square freezing YouTube videos. Also, the concept of the 456 to use the children just a drug to get high is first-hand monstrosity. But yes, the entire series did remind me how weak Torchwood is , as a Special agency trying to fight paranormal activities. It was quite easy for them to set up a Hub when destroyed by just stealing some credit cards, and yet, they are always handicapped by the claws of the Govt. Torchwood needed to take things more in control and the entire point of the Govt. trying to cover up its history was almost unnecessary. I mean, how can you trust the 456 in the first place as far as implementing protocols is concerned. They took 12 children in 1965, and here they are, back again to snort some more , 10% to be precise.

And I had a dream. A dream that in the final episode, when Gwen kept on mentioning about the Doctor, the Tardis would beam out. The Doctor stepping out of his Tardis, would grab the 456 by his balls, and bitch-slap him and send him to be sucked into a really dark black hole never to come back. All this, while he resurrects Ianto, somehow [puhleeeeeez..]. But no, nothing happened. No one else to save the day, just Capt. Jack and his proficiency in broadcasting frequencies [ which reminded me- Wasn't it SKYNET as well, which was attempted to be brought down by some killing negative frequency, man Sound Engineering is futuristic].

All in all, Torchwood – Children of Earth provided us much anticipated thrills and Sci-Fi situational drama. In some cases, it delivered more awesomeness than the Sci-Fi shit that Hollywood has been churning out lately. RTD confirms that there will be a Season 4. Now thatCapt.Jack has gone to some other galaxy, I guess, we have to wait a long time to hear from him anytime soon.

For now, Enjoy the Screenshots below; Do Shout out your thoughts in the comments section below. And enjoy the DVD!

Some more Screenshots for your viewing pleasure.

Korean movies are just top notch in terms of cinematical technicalities. The cinematography is unparalleled, the colors seem to be splashed straight from a palette chosen by Monet or Rembrandt, and the soundtrack breathes life into even the most dead of plots. All of it combined with a compelling romantic-drama plot like Daisy, can be best termed as an amplification of cinematic excellence to the fullest extent. When the director of the Infernal Affairs,Andy Lau teams up with three of Korea’s finest actors, the result has to exceed all expectations, and Daisy does it, and how so.

Tension, Tragedy, Twist!

SYNOPSIS: Daisy[ Korean name: Dei-Ji(2006)] stars my favorite Korean actress Jun Ji Hyun [now known as Gianna Jun] as a young artist Hye Young, living in Amsterdam. She assists her grandfather in running his antique shop, and works in the public square,drawing portraits. She starts receiving pots of Daisy from a secret admirer who she believes is the man who built a bridge for her [Its exactly how it sounds]. And then, one day she meets Interpol agent Jeong Woo [Sung-Jae Lee] who is actually tracking Asian drug dealers. Hye confuses her for the mystery man who sends her the daisies. While all this is happening, Hye Young’s real secret admirer,Park Yi [Woo Sung Jung] has a keen eye on her.
He follows every step of her, and even shows a hint of envy when he sees Hye Young enjoying Jeong Woo’s company. And then, in an encounter involving the drug dealers and Jeong Woo in the public square, Hye is severely injured thus, losing her voice. Jeong Woo has to leave the country and go back to Korea. And then, Park shows up to take care of the broken-hearted Hye. What Hye does not know is her secret admirer and the one who sends her the daisies is actually an assassin. Will Hye find out who her real admirer is? Will Jeong Woo return to Hye and confess the truth? Will Park get rid of his dirty past and will there be a happy ending? To find the answers, watch Daisy.

And why should you watch this movie?
a) The Golden thing that is silence.

Raining Silence

Daisy is just painted in leisure with all possible hues collected in a sombre pace. The speed although here does not make you cringe, rather makes you sink into the situation. The caress of wind on the petals of the daisy, or the reflection of sun on Hye’s eyes, the heavy showers washing the glass windows and the gurgling of water in the streams – all of this intermittently broken by the narration.

b) The Lady – Jun Ji Hyun.

Jun Ji Hyun - How pretty!

Although I adore and still am a die-hard fan of JJH’s outspoken, extremely OTT role in My Sassy Girl[who isn't!], JJH performance in this role stands at extreme opposite ends from her work in My Sassy Girl. She speaks through her eyes, expresses her angst and frustration in her actions. She made me believe in her quest for her secret admirer. Her eyes gleaming with romance when she receives her ‘FROWERS’, makes me squirm. And well, who wouldn’t want to just stare at her, while she sketches a portrait of you?

c) Amsterdam, Ambiance, Audio.

Oh Amsterdam!

If you loved ‘In Bruges’, this would make you fall in love with Amsterdam. The architecture, the streets, the public square, the countryside, the flowers…aaaah! Add to that, the interiors of an antique shop, or a well designed modern day European apartment, the dim-lit indoors of a restaurant, or even the dark alleys, all of these have a character of their own to add to the narrative. Lastly, the soundtrack is absolutely fabulous.

d)Andy Lau. Andy Lau. Andy Lau.

Eyes of the Kira..err Killer

This is not just a South-Korean tragedy. Nor is this another hitman action movie. Daisy combines both of these, and not in a formula-driven cliched mixed-bag. It combines the action, thrill and edge-of-the-seat sequences of an action movie, and yet somehow combines all the drama and the precise amount of human emotional clashes that one expects from a romance-drama. Andy Lau satisfies each and every thread of desire I would have from his cinema.

The Painting which started it all

To sum it up, what you would remember after this movie is the spellbinding cinematography of the movie, the mind numbing twists that this plot unfolds in layers, the absolutely impressive JJH and finally the soulful soundtrack. The non-linear narrative is best done in Asian cinema and this is no exception to that rule. It just enhances the storytelling, and when it comes to tragedy [minor spoiler], Koreans do it best. This for all Asian movie lovers, and for those special ones who loved My Sassy Girl, be prepared to be surprised to a very different JJH.

RATING: 8 on 10.

Special Mention: Niki of ApunBindaas who recommended this gem of a movie to me.

**SCREENSHOTS FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE**

More of Jun Ji Hyun

Romance while the lights are dim

JJH..

]]> http://www.oneknightstands.net/movie-review-daisy-2006/feed/ 7 http://www.oneknightstands.net/movie-review-indiana-jones-and-the-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/ http://www.oneknightstands.net/movie-review-indiana-jones-and-the-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/#comments Sun, 01 Jun 2008 15:23:48 +0000 Sujoy http://oneknightstands.net/?p=70

20 years of waiting, and the Doc will see you now. Oh Doc Jones! You have more wrinkles now. Doc Jones, you have a new sidekick now who is a son as well. Can we call him Doc Jr? Why is the Ukranian lady trying to BE Ukranian and why is your son dipping his comb in Cola? Just too many questions, and I am not given any answers. Awright!!! I know Indiana Jones is one of those immortal characters that have been built on the basis of that boyhood daydream replete with fantasy worlds, deep secrets of lost lands and treasure hunts with adventurous journeys . The one we loved and perhaps can never be old enough for. But having said that, Indie has delivered them all in the previous installments and this one as well. But somewhere, somehow,the feeling creeps in that in these 20 years, the laziness of the filmmakers have taken over, which makes Crystal Skull just another big budget Hollywood no-brains matinee mayhem, even when we have the Gurus-Spielberg and Lucas steering the wheel.

As for the plot, here it goes. It’s 1957, and as the Cold War is warming up, the bunch from Soviet capture Doc Jones to find the secret package in the warehouse of Area 51. Flaw 1: Only 4 guards at the door of a high-secret facility. How convenient! (I think by the time I end this review, I am just gonna lose count) Anyway, the package contains the remains of a secret worthy of being kept in Area 51. Doc Jones then tries to escape the captivity of the Soviet bunch in an action scene which can be best described as lame, and then even manages to escape a nuclear explosion. We do come to know about the treasure hidden in the lost land of El Dorado which Doc deciphers from the note sent to Mutt by his mom-Marion Ravenwood, an ex of Doc. Mutt says that an old ally of his,Prof Oxley has been abducted while searching for a hidden Incan temple. And that is approximately where the story wraps up. What follows next is just a big hoch poch of ideas flowing in a turbulent wave from the brains of Lucas. You name it and they have got it here, to the point that you start feeling that the sole intention of the movie was to revive the franchise for the sake of it (and of course raking in big bucks). Speaking in the shortest way possible, I’d say the plot includes some of the most forgettable action scenes, grand sets with gold shimmering from every inch and yes, ALIENS. The plot gets so dodgy at times that you just want to get over with it. But yeh, you hold yourself back coz it’s supposed to be the Summer Blockbuster of the Year.

As for Mr.Ford, he does look old but not that old enough to not be able to do those stunts. Unlike what Spielberg said, CGI is what I saw in every scene. And even at times quite annoyingly, when they tried to avoid it, they came up with a no-brainer cheap replacement miniature model of the Incan temple.Ugh!!!! I miss the whip which Doc uses only twice- once in the beginning, and then once in the climax. LaBeouf is just ok and Cate Blanchett is not at all at par with her callibre. Her thick Ukrrr…rrranian accent is a perhaps a tribute to the long years of Hollywood stereotypes. The action scenes are choreographed in a very non-exciting pace and pattern, and sometimes get too long. The escape sequences of Doc Jones are just too flawed. I mean, yeah Doc has to survive throughout and even get wedlocked with Marion, but are the Soviet bunch so ill trained that they can’t shoot an inch even from such a close range? And when Jeeps run over you , you ought to have some sort of scratches. And please, surviving three waterfalls in a Jeep afloat by just getting wet is stuff that 21st century movies aren’t made of. We would like to believe in Newton and not the survival principle of Lucas. All of this could have been portrayed in a more realistic way without letting Doc Jones die. As of the climax scene, I would say, the only thing that was missing was the price tag at the corner of the gold temple.

It is very sad to say, that with 19 years they took to make this one, they have come out with a product that doesn’t even come close to mere satisfaction. I am not a fanboy of the entire franchise, and I might get knocked out by the ones who swear by it. But trust me, even for one who is, considering Raiders, Temple of Doom and the Last Crusade, this one is just a very mediocre attempt and can be just an addition to its predecessors, and nothing more. Speaking of Spielberg, there is not one moment in this movie which speaks of his craftsmanship. I mean for Pete’s sake, he gave us fantasies like Close Encounters and ET and Jurassic Park. WTF!!! As for Mr.Lucas, his imagination was , I believe limited only to galaxy far far away. He did give us the character, but 20 years later, the pen has stopped and I guess, somebody else has been taking notes to his blabber. But then,no matter how bad I say about this movie, it is not gonna stop anyone from watching this one. Hell no, it’s been 20 friggin years and you have to watch this one. But yeah, I am not 8 anymore.

하나, 둘, 셋 ( One, Two , Three )

There is a big reason why  I am not writing three different reviews for the three movies constituting the Vengeance Trilogy- Sympathy for Mr.Revenge, Oldboy and Lady Vengeance, besides the obvious ones that it is a huge task to. Of course, they deserve individual appreciation and applause for the portrayal of immensely disturbing human stories. But then, it is very important to state on a single page, that even if the element that connects these three- Vengeance-is full throttle, it is the underlying human stories which actually steal the show, in each film. And needless to say, they are all very different and very awesomely disturbing as well. We have seen Hollywood’s brand of violence in many shades, colors, lights and sounds. We have been thrilled, scared, often left disturbed and then by the end of the third night we almost get over it and probably start pondering over the latest action flick. And that is where the Vengeance trilogy scores. It has been almost two weeks since I watched OldBoy and I watched Sympathy for Mr.Vengeance today (I watched Lady Vengeance in between, which again states another fact that in this trilogy, unlike any other, the order of watching doesn’t really matter). And yes, I still vividly remember the corridoor fight scene, the octopus eating scene and the tooth plucking as much as the grotesque smile of Oh Dae Su in Oldboy. That is the power of story telling. And I start this post by offering a salute to the genius of Chan-wook Park.

Uno: Sympathy for Mr.Vengeance tells us the tale of a kidnapping gone completely wrong. But well, that is just the permeable membrane enveloping the surface. What this story truly represents is how violence can destroy normal people. How it can make a deaf-mute, green haired worker turn into a psycho killer who can even go to the extent of piercing someone’s throat artery, tear open their guts and chew their kidneys. It is a tale which works in its own pace and relies more on the events happening than the dialogues. More so because the main protagonist is mute, but also because that’s how real it is. It is a disturbing drama more than anything else and the violence is just an effect of it. When you see Dong Jin mourning the death of her daughter we follow him walking, while his eyes are wandering in vacuum. He enters the autopsy room and he is informed of his daughter’s swollen lungs. We do not get to see a loud outcry but we see Dong Jin holding tightly to the grass on a green field, as a tear drop trickles down. The same Dong Jin, who by now has gone completely insane after seeing hallucinations of his drowned daughter, on discovery of the corpse of Ryu’s sister, reacts completely different in the autopsy room. We see him look at it directly and even yawn. Message conveyed. But what is most interesting is the race of who will find who and how will he confront the other. The entire debate of who’s revenge is justified and the absence of a “hero” and/or a “villain” is what just left me numb. Lastly, Mr.Vengeance leaves behind some of the most ruthless and unforgettable violence ever to be filmed and will not be easily consumed by the normal movie junkie. From the scene where the factory worker slices his belly with a blade as blood leaks out , to the ruthless shock torture of Yeong Mi, to the one shot of Ryu’s sister’s decomposed corpse, and yes to wind things up, Ryu’s cut open Achilles tendons under water. A grand start to the trilogy that lives up to a name like Vengeance.

Dos: Oldboy is more known for its disturbing subject matter than its now famous tooth plucking scene. But then, that’s upto you. For me, it remains a story of human complexities pushed to the extreme. Of human disjointedness dance wildly with chaos. Vengeance is so strong here that someone keeps his target alive and feeding for 15 complete years, waiting and planning for the perfect vengeance. It is just out of my normal human comprehension that someone can do this. But then, in a world of Sushil Sharma (Tandoor Murder case) and Nithari’s Moninder Pundher, where everyday news is all about violence served with garnishing (Mr. Rajat Sharma,are you reading?), this can pass out to be a day’s headline. But well, the vengeance here consists of something just a bit more complex than death as a punishment. The punishment here is the guilt and the sin of incest with which a person is made to live. I will not say anything more about the plot but the way it is revealed, layer by layer is a hint of the workings of a mind driven by a very dark passion for vengeance. You’ve to see this movie to experience the chills which no amount of Exorcists and Rings can give. Because man is scarier than ghost. Enough said about the plot, the picturisation of Oldboy is top-notch. In a way it is more of a texture based representation. The dark one room prison, the lavish apartment, and the CORRIDOOR. All of them speaking a tale of their own. Not to forget, the quintessential component-VIOLENCE. Park leaves no stones unturned here and nothing has been left more to say or imagine. We see blood squirt out of the jaws as Oh-Dae Su pulls the lever, we see live octopus being chewed upon, and then we also see the sexual animal in Oh-Dae Su. But what left all of us (all the viewers of Oldboy, I speak on your behalf) in awe is the one take shot of the corridor combat which resembles like a Video Game with the main character going against many people with the camera following from the left to right. What we see is hell unleashed and Oh-Dae Su just doesn’t stop, not even when he is beaten up and gets a knife stabbed on his back. To conclude I’d say Zinda was such a lame piece of crap for a copy. It didn’t even have a fraction of the intensity of Oldboy, both in terms of the “made to suit Indian viewers” storyline and violence. Some movies should be left untouched, un-remade.

Tres: Lady Vengeance is well, the finale of the Vengeance trilogy and is poetic, hilarious at times, visually riveting and according to the One Knight (who stands), this is the one to watch if you are a sucker for beautiful cinematography meshed with violence which is narrated mostly as the scream in the other room, rather than its predecessors which dealt with it upfront. I saw this movie after Oldboy, and I was still in shock by what I saw in Oldboy. So, the violence here seemed a bit subdued in comparison with the other ones, but in no way can be still termed as easy-to-chew. The basic difference between this and the other ones in the trilogy is that Lady Vengeance portrays Geum Ja as the heroine, the good one and her motivation for revenge is fully justified right from the word go. It doesn’t question Geum Ja’s righteousness, because the wrong done here has to be punished, because the one who suffered here is not only Geum Ja, but also her daughter and the families of the children whom Mr.Baek brutally murdered. Geum Ja however is faced by the question of the best way that Mr.Baek can be brought to justice, and she starts planning it right from her prison days. Well, you might find some similarities between Lady Vengeance and Kill Bill- both being movies about vengeance and well, both being mothers. But here, the climax is damn satisfying and it doesn’t involve a long montonous monlogue. It’s silent, it’s brutal and collectively relished by the like-minded to the tune of the classical Vivaldi music. The color settings add to the storyline perfectly and in every way.This is technically superiror to its predecessors although the storyline isn’t as strong and shocking . But yes, it is indeed a brilliant ending to the Vengeance Trilogy.

Let me begin with: What a Movie!!! Cloverfield literally rocked my world. This is the best movie I have seen of the “monster movie” genre and that is including King Kong, Jurassic Park, Alien, Predator and even the Korean “Host”. I still can’t believe that the wait is now all over and I have been a part of that cinematic experience that I have been counting down to, ever since the first teasers hit online-the exceedingly mind-numbing visual of the head of the Statue of Liberty tossed on to the streets of NY. And all of this being captured on a handycam. Right even from the days when it didn’t even have a name to it (and was rightfully named as JJ Abrams’ next project), the fanboism to the movie had peaked until it’s release. And now that I have watched IT, I can be quite peaceful at heart and satisfied enough to talk my heart out about the movie. I loved Cloverfield, every bit of it.

The premise is a Manhattan’s typical yuppiedom party thrown for a Rob who is leaving NY for a job in Japan. And a friend of his is given the cam to record farewell video testimonials. And then, suddenly amidst the discussion among Rob, his brother Jason and the cam-holding Hud, with no warning, no background score and no cinematic trumpet announcing the arrival of chaotic destruction, cometh the Monster. Now, we have seen gazillions of monster movies set to the backdrop of Manhattan.But if you expected this to be just another one added to the list, I must say you are mistaken. This leads the list. And whatever you saw in those teasers, just try and imagine to multiply that intensity of 30 seconds by almost a 100 times and spread it across a movie of length 73 minutes. Yes, it is that good. Yeah, but for the monster movie sucker that most people are, they would expect a deep plot on the genesis of the monster, the characters who are gonna be later killed by the monster, should have built a rapport with the audience before they are swallowed or trampled upon. And yes, wide pan angles, bird’s eye view, a camera rolling through the legs and barely missing the monster’s tail, and yeah lastly the monster should have a NAME. Cloverfield breaks each of that stereotypical guide to making monster movies. And guess what, that is where it made all of us awestruck. It literally is the monster movie for the YouTube generation- where a million hits go to the reaction videos of 2 girls and a cup. And so, if you expected all the above mentioned guidelines of making a monster movie to be followed, I am sure that you’d be let down. Because I hardly remember the girl’s name, the monster doesn’t really has a name and neither is anyone interested to give it any, the panic at the streets is very real, the toxic smog made me almost cough, and the combat scenes look a straight report on the CNN.

And I know, most of the junta would be still complaining about the jerky camera work and then silly Rob’s attempt to rescue his lady love. I’d like to answer this by saying if you think Blair Witch Project wasn’t your cup of tea, this is not gonna serve you as wine. Signs of nausea could be the side-effects visible on most people, but don’t you think such an impact by a cinematic piece which almost borders on the reality vs. fictional line, and simulates seven hours of terror down to the last inch, deserves the applause that it is getting. And for people who like Blair Witch, you’re gonna gulp this down without any appetizers. Blair Witch made me feel claustrophobic and Cloverfield made me realize the scares of night-vision ( There you go, a hint). And yes, unlike most monster movies, this one sums it all up in 73 minutes straight. No agenda, no bull-shitting, no hidden storylines with recaps and yes, no super-savers. NY’s chaos is unleashed perfectly not in detailed choreographed terror acts by the monster, but in brief shots at the devil’s dance. And that’s why it is as sexy as probably the first time you saw dinosaurs running in the park, and it is so terrifying that it makes the other Manhattan monster movie- I am Legend -feel like an episode of Will & Grace. I give it a 10 on 10, a double thumbs up, a vote for the Oscar’s next year-may be a special technical award for groundbreaking advancement in storytelling technique. Now let’s all stand up and bow to Mr. Abrams, and Director Matt Reeves. Bravo!

Get ready for some real pot-mouthed ladies. I mean onscreen. Girls here don’t shy away from speculating the count of BJ’s and rampantly indulge in BJ jokes. They snort the white powder and drink till they drop. Welcome to the Jungle of the 21st century heroine. She is no longer the girl in the sari, but is suffering from the “pink thong, black lung” syndrome. Another addition to the cast is the stereotypical effeminate designer whose panic is “ejected” in his histrionics. And yeah, still more BJ jokes. And the guys;now they only say “FUCK” when they are either angry or offended. Not like we do-e.g. Fuck No,Fuck yes, Fuck may be. You get it. But that’s just where Bhram (an Illusion) begins. Antara Tyagi (Sheetal Menon) is a model troubled by casting couch predators and more than that, her dark past. She keeps wandering in her past and keeps away from male company. That’s until she is hit on by saadda hunk Shaan (Dino Morea) who is the brother of an investment banking tycoon Dev Rawal (Milind Soman ). The narrative jumps directly to the action area by adapting a non-linear flow, loaded with flashbacks and all jumbled up.

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The plot encircles around these few characters: Shaan, Dev, Antara and her past. Everything else is pretty much an accessory. Shaan falls in love with the weird and introvert Antara. Antara doesn’t know that her life is coming a full circle with the entry of Shaan in her life(I would like to interrupt here to ask: Why do Indian movies have (almost) always followed the format of a first half which ends with a couple of events summing down to a suspense with an intermission in between? Is it because they want us to think over during the pee break as to what is gonna happen in the next episode? Ooh! how smart are we!!). The first half of the movie juggles from one sub-plot to another and sometimes entangles the puzzle even more, rather than solving it. So here’s what happens – Shaan brings Antara to meet his family- Bhaiya and Bhabhi- Antara accuses Dev to be the rapist and murderer of her sister, an event which happened 10 years ago in ‘Unnees Sau Teeranve” (1993) on her birthday. Second interruption: I would like to take a moment here for myself to pat my own back. I noticed a goof-up here. Antara’s sister drives her in a Maruti Suzuki WagonR to meet Dev in the resort. It’s 1993, and no Maruti Suzuki WagonR had been produced then by the manufacturers. Thank you! Now sit down and read further.

To hum kahaa the?(Where were we?) Dev’s wifey (Simone Singh) is very upset, and so is Shaan. But Shaan wants to get to know the truth. Dev obviously denies it. So now the question is, is Antara living in a Bhram (an Illusion) of a past she thinks might have happened or did Dev commit the crime which he kept locked in his dark closet? Shaan goes to Manali to find it and is accompanied by his friend who also works at Dev’s firm. That’s the first half.No one at Manali wants to answer Shaan’s queries about D-Day when it happened-ten years back. God knows why!! Apparently there are even higher authorities in the government who don’t want to leak out the information about the event. Until it is all blurted out by a restaurant waiter who gives in to the scare of the bicep power of Mr.Morea. And what does he say-Dev is innocent and he was framed. There wasn’t any autopsy done, no police investigation, nothing. And yeah, in these 10 years, Dev dawns as the Mr.Fantastic Financio but still manages to keep the same hairdo, with some beard grown over the years (just a little attention to the details). Bro-Shaan is elated to hear that Big Bro is innocent and calls him to say that everything is going to be back to normal, calls everyone for a reunion at Manali. Dev, the impulsive guy that he is,calls up Shaan’s friend and vomits out that he is actually the rapist- which is accidentally received by Shaan.

Climax time:- They all gather at a rocky location. And as Miss Antara as well as Mr.Shaan said- “I can read your face, I can read your mind, your body”, well, I say-” I can read the rocks, I can read the snow, and I can definitely see the altitude”- this is no way Manali. C’mon this is Ladakh. Nevertheless, beautiful location but long dialogues. Long story short, Dev narrates the story from his view point, and well everyone is so utterly bored that they just leave. Okay, by that I mean the audience, not the family guys. They left because they thought Dev was wrong. Dev gets impulsive yet again and shoots himself. Yes, SHOOTS HIMSELF. C’mon, you could have waited a month or so at least. You could have given Simone a diamond ring, taken her out to an expensive restaurant and may be travel to Bahamas together. Oh wait, Chicken Momos could’ve done the magic even. I donno how this silly guy became an investment banking guru with all that impulsive nature filled in him. First he thinks that just because her lady-love wouldn’t run away with her, he rapes her just after a line of dialogue -” What do you want from me now then? Just a fuck?!!!” And then he does it. And secondly he shoots himself. He never thought of what’d happen to his bald Brit Client who actually sounds like an Aussie mate! Poor Simone Bhabhi. She has to return to that tarot card reading show I guess, with that Mallu Menon. And poor Shaan. I hope the will goes in his favor. Else, Antara has to support her. Anyway I am done.

The climax was actually very long for me. Just felt like chewing on a wrigley with no juice. Felt like the editor’s contract just expired when the Ladakh scene happened. Visually, the movie is really compelling. The rains, the snows, the bed-sheets, the neons of the dance floor and the halogens in the make up van. All are picture-perfect. Yeah, but the water sliding on the glass is a big challenge for me. The movie has many scenes involving rain, and specially Antara has a thing for the hazy glass with water flowing on it. I know it looks classy but it makes me wanna pee a lot. May be that’s the challenge. Anyway, musically this is one of the most superior works of this year. Oh, btw! Siddharth and Suhas- the music diro duo are the guys from Vedic Chant- a band which did a single called -Todenge Phodenge – with Abbey (of Ae Sanam and Khallas fame) in the V-Jammin album. They also appear in that song-Sohniye. It’s funny to see people dance to a rock number though.I even liked the club numbers which I kinda didn’t like so much when I heard it on the CD. One good thing is that all the songs are background soundtracks which doesn’t take away the credibility of the narrative. Special applause for the intimate scenes- the bronze tainted look just got me confused, if you know what I mean! And Pritam’s adaptation of “Ghare Pheraar Gaan”( SOURCE: Sachiniti) in the voice of Sonu Nigam- (I guess the spelling is wrong but who cares)-Jaane Kyun- is simply put haunting. I just LOVE it. The movie on the other hand is not as good as the music. The plot is a drama more than a thriller.The mystery, even after it was solved, somehow didn’t bring a sense of satisfaction to me, and left me wishing for something more. A crisper climax with a twister ending could have done it. For me, it was an average entertainer. I would go with a 6 on 10 for this. Could’ve been much much better.