Filmfare 2012- what does that mean to me and you? Aap ka to pata nahi, but for me, it definitely means a lot of edited emoticons, lols, facepalms, sleepy faces, drooping make ups, fake laughters, lazy applause and SRK’s PJ’s and self-deprecating jokes (to compensate for Ra.One). There are the lacklustre performances spiced up with snazzy Adobe Premiere effects like a Balaji serial. And finally, lots and lots of laughter tracks randomly sprinkled throughout the show. Now, since the heavily edited version of the show is 2.5 hours long (imagine what was at the editor’s table), I have taken up the responsibility to help you not spend these 2.5 hours, and instead spend a few minutes with this post that gives you all the masala of what happened at the Filmfare Awards 2012. Hit the jump to find out
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When the world is busy fighting the evils of capitalism and the double-faced monsters of austerity, Viacom 18 and Endemol India have conjured up this much bigger evil of unleashing the Hydra version of Bollywood’s biggest slut – Shakti ‘Aaoo’ Kapoor, and has given him 11 “laundiyas” to play with. If you think that with that comment, I just objectified women, then you should check out how Colors is actually promoting it. Ladies and Gentlemen, quite against our initial apprehensive thought that this reality TV series would make it to its 5th incarnation, Bigg Boss Season 5 is here. And with national media covering every move, there is just no escaping this absolutely unnecessary and unwanted television show. Producers are just happy creating more TRP by means of the outrageous characterisation of the “Reality TV” versions of these “has-been” and “wannabe” celebs. And we as a nation, are happy to keep tuning in, no matter how much we continue to despise it.
Although I can’t believe that I am actually writing about something I absolutely hate, I have to keep reminding myself that this is for the greater good of stopping as many people as I can from watching this show. So, if you care to survive through this shit-storm, then hit the jump as we discuss through the Season premiére of Big Boss Season 5.
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The awards season quite abruptly wakes up from hibernation right in the middle of the year coz, STOP! its IIFA time. Held at Toronto, Canada this year, this is a world-touring Bollywood Mela featuring the whos-who as well as the starlets, has-beens and wanna-bees of the Bolly clans. The headline breaking and eye-blinding bling of the star performances dancing their best Baraati steps occupy most of the spotlight, more than who’s winning what ( seriously, who gives a rat’s ass about those ). And like in a traditional marriage with all the band baaja, the awarding committee is indeed the Father of the many Brides marrying on that very night. Yes, IIFA (and other award functions) is no less than any pompous grand Indian wedding. It is all about the naachgana, the dhoom, the bang, the dhadaka. There’s food, there’s booze and there’s mithai. Special Mithai – only for the esteemed guest list who make it to the front 3-4 rows, being normally distributed to fit the perfect ‘bell curve’. The rest of us, simply don’t give a shit. You know why? Because, frankly, I feel as connected to Bollywood awards (pretty much all of them) as I do with weddings of friends of ‘door ke rishtedaar’. I don’t feel interested to be involved in it, even for a bit, but yet would like to watch the video to find out what shit got taped.
It won’t be wrong to state that the IIFA awards is an amalgamation of the following elements:
a) a Film Festival ( since it helps promote Indian films – both classic ones as well as upcoming releases, although how much does it help promote indie features and upcoming talent is quite doubtful ),
b) a Parent’s day function ( since all the debutante producer’s ke bacchhe get baptised and almost lose their onscreen virginity onstage in front of their papajee and mummyjee), and
c) a mutually benefical (aka you scratch my back, I scratch yours , aka you give me an award and I’ll show up) tamasha.
[Image heavy post after the jump, and the discussion continues]
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Amidst the flurry of reality TV shows occupying prime-time TV space on Indian channels, there appears one show which even before airing its first episode, claims to be the World’s Biggest Dance show (and hence throwing away the likes of So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars and all the other dance shows right into the municipality drains of Dharavi ). This show is called ‘Just Dance’ and stars Hrithik Roshan as the star judge who is nick-named ‘The God of Dance’ in almost every frame possible. The hysteria and the fandom images are randomly strewn all over the place and Hrithik mania seems to be the fever of the nation. By the looks of it, feels like Kaho Naa Pyar Hai is re-releasing or we are all back to 2000 ( the year when Kaho Naa Pyar Hai was released, yes its 11 years old). So, a bit of a reality check here is very much required. It is indeed 2011 and we have come a long way since KNPH. Hrithik has long discarded the hearthrob status and seen his decline in many unfavourable movies. But still somehow he managed to wring out a Rs. 2 crore per episode deal with Star Plus for ‘Just Dance’. The first impression definitely is that this ‘Reality TV’ show is nothing less than a melodramatic, fluffy, saccharine scripted Bollywood fare.
Now I am not a connoisseur of Reality TV shows and neither am I a well read critic. But I certainly can spot the shitty stain on my TV screen. Just so that I do not wander off from my points, here’s a systematically created list of problems that I have with this show - Just Dance.
1. Hrithik = God of Dance ( Bitch, please! )
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