The essential Pandal Music Playlist

Pandal Boombox

This is with reference to all that is irrelevant and all that can be totally disassociated from a wall of speakers of a thousand watt each. A wall, as in “Humpty Dumpty sat on a WALL”. Oh I forgot to mention it, it’s not just any speakers. These are loud speakers with proper mixers and amplifiers, and yes, there’s a sound engineer cum DJ at the console. One thing though: either they have bass notes hitting so hard as bullets leaving the barrel of a Kalashnikov, or tones so deep that you really wonder if that made the Opera’s Phantom. And what’s the occasion? The list is pretty long. Be it Ugadi,Eid or Saraswati Pooja, Navratri or even Ambedkar Diwas. And if you were to ask me the essential playlist here, I’d like to reveal them one by one. Firstly, I will promise that I will not repeat the songs in my previous playlist post. Secondly, we shall not do any form of publicity (be it positive or negative) for Mr.Himess. He already has his fair share (But the man has been mum for quite some time. Guess he’s busy shooting for Karzzz -the remake). Third rule of the list- This is gonna be fun. So no Bhajans (For those who expected that I would include Bhajans of Anup Jalota, Narendra Chanchal and the like, I should say, you guys have come to the wrong page). So here we go(not put in any particular order, but that)!!

1. Hard Kaur & Glassy Family : Ek Glassy Do Glassy

Innovative lyrics, inventive rhythm and the Bhangra rap just couldn’t have been better. Especially when the dhol beats on the hip-hop rhythmcan literally scratch the back of your head from the inside. For best results, try standing within a metre’s range from the wall (of the speakers). Conditions apply.

2. Sean Paul- Temperature.

Okay, this might not hold true for any pandal in the US or Canada. But it does for any damn pandal in Pune, remote parts of Telengana, Vidharbha, Chota Nagpur Plateau and also some parts of the Deccan. You see, Sean Paul actually starts rhyming in Marathi proving yet again that he is in fact, a Marathi Manoos, not the Jamaican reggae guy that he poses to be. Sean Paul also received an honorary doctorate from the Pune Mahanagar Palika for the maximum looped playtime of Temperature. The award ceremony was also graced by aunties of Kondhwa Griha Mahila Udyog shaking their booty to the track.

3. Sukhbir – Ishq

There has always been an increasing demand of encore requests for this track. I am sure Sukhbir’s “aatma” cries from Nairobi to see the heartfelt appreciation that this song still receives. For best results, watch Neighbour Dhobi Kushal go frenzy after getting diluted (By that I mean, once he drinks his first drop of water after his stock of 2 khamba). Sukhbir’s Ishq remains an eternal favorite of the 2 year old who lives downstairs. She can hardly recognise between her dad and her mom, but can definitely sing “Ho Ho Ho Ho!!”. An insider news source reports that parts of Toronto and Southall,UK have experienced Santa Claus singing his trademark sound to the tunes of Sukhbir “Ho Ho Ho Hoooo”.

4. Vengaboys – Boom Boom

Not even any other Vengaboys track can come close to this. And mind you, this is actually a Saraswati Puja favorite, irrespective of latitude, longitude or solitude. Maa Saraswati has always remained quite pleased and has always blessed me with the best of marks at the final exams. Why shouldn’t she? When all of us offer her bhakti in the words

Boom boom boom boom
I want you in my room
Let’s spend the night together
From now until forever
Boom boom boom boom
I wanna double boom
Let’s spend the night together
Together in my room

5. Usha Uthup -Koi Yaha Aaaha Naache Naache

I’ll write nothing else but the lyrics.

koi yahan..aaha nache nache…
koi wahan ..aaha nache nache..
saare haseen aaha naache naache
saare jawaan aaha naache naache
ouuuwa ouuuwa ..

Interesting trivia: The music is by Bappi Lahiri. Not so interesting trivia: Bappi da made an appearance on BQC (Bournvita Quiz competition, hosted by Derek O’ Brien) and asked this question( of course after singing the song). So, your question is -What is the meaning of ouuwa ouuwa? ( I am seriously not kidding, you can ask for the tapes from Zee TV). All the teams passed, and Bappi Da , gave his trademark smile and answered- it means nothing, it’s just a catchy phrase. Hehehe! That was a bouncer even for Derek. And oh yeah! The Original of the track is much better, hornier( as in the number of horns going toing in the song, what did you think?) and is the official track of the Mithunda lead ICL team. What was it called?

6. Altaf Raja: Tum To Thehre Pardesi

Tum To Thehre Pardesi

This also includes the track that follows next on the cassette/CD. The track is ” Yaaro Maine Panga Le Liya”. There is one reason why I mentioned cassettes. Because this was one of the original cassette bestsellers ….of Altaf Raja i.e.

Critical Market Anal-ysis of the Sales Strategy of Tum To Thehre Pardesi Album:
The Album cover had Aamir Khan and Karisma Kapoor magnified to cover exactly 69% (coincidence, I swear) of the album cover. Another 25% is covered by the word PARDESI.This was done to cash-in on the publicity of the success of Raja Hindustani, and the Pardesi song ( which features next). A meagre 5% by the words “Tum To Thehre” and finally a 1% thumbnail of Altaf Raja near the music label logo. Note: The 1% also includes the sky blue background.

7. Sapna Awasthi & Alka Yagnik & Udit Narayan- Pardesi Pardesi.

We are excluding Kumar Sanu because his version sucks, not that the original didn’t , but because the original had Sapna Awasthi’s “killing” vocals performed onscreen by Kalpana Iyer aka Dum Dumee Maai from “Chandrakanta”. However the controversy remains between Nirja Guleri and Dharmesh Darshan as in who casted which character first. Not to forget, Pratibha Sinha’s 5 min 36 seconds to fame. Where is she? I promise to come back with a list of the 5 minutes to fame celebs of Bollywood. Ok, now it seems we are drifting away from the topic. Pardesi’s fan following has had a geological pattern. According to the meteorological survey of India, this is the only score of Nadeem Shravan which has been able to penetrate to the interiors of the Tea Garden districts of Assam and not only did it managed to carve its niche’, it also emerged as one of their anthem.

8. Jennifer Lopez – Waiting for Tonight.

It doesn’t matter even if “If you had my Love” was her first single that hit platinum. “Waiting for Tonight” was actually one of the only songs of my puberty which lived UP to its name. Every single word of it. Puja Pandals used to specially arrange for rain dance to this song . That surely tells us all of the visual literacy of India. Umm Hmm!!!

9. Jyoti and Abhijeet – Bharo, Maang Meri Bharo. (Link withheld due to public uproar and unavailability of online video)

This was actually ‘inspired’ by Enigma’s Hallelujah. Okay fine, LIFTED. So wtf! Enigma didn’t feature Mamta Kulkarni in a red dress ready to drop that off. Very sexy performance. And every time it plays, till date at Navratris or Jhulans or even Naag Panchami, it will still remain the most appropriate anthem of the Pravasi “Karvaa Chauth” Mahotsav, for obvious reasons. All because we all know, life abroad for a man is summed up by the word “workaholic”, which is a polite way to put slave. What would the bechaari wifey at home do then on Karvaa Chauth. Sing the following lines:-

Bharo, Maang Meri Bharo.
Karo Pyaar Mujhe Karo.
Ang se Ang Lagake
Prem Sudha Barsake
Daasi teri Pyaasi Rahee Kitne Janam

10. Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On ( The Garba/Dandiya Mix):

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

The least said, the best. Some secrets were never meant to be revealed. Some songs never to be remixed. Jai ho Celine Maata ki…Jay!! Only one more thing. This can kick Falguni Pathak’s business very soon. Unless, Falguni Pathak starts covering Dolly Parton’s country classics in Whitney isshtyle. Matlab, Falguni jee ki khair nahi!

All the events depicted above are real, personally experienced by the author and even on ardent requests forwarded, the author will not agree to deletion of any songs from the list. This message is published by the Salunke Vihar Mitra Mandal in national interest.

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