The janam-janmaantaro ki pyaas ( closest English translation: The thirst of ages ) is going to be quenched with this Baap of all sequel posts. This was demanded since the first snake charmer from the gang of Samri was killed in the dark realms of the Purani Haveli. And before all of this mish-mash of lovely sounding words start dismantling into meaningless pieces of guano, let me cordially welcome you to the Return of the Top 20 Villains of Bollywood aka Top 20 Villains of Bollywood – Part 2 (Nope, we are no SrBachchan to yell out Dwitiya). Jaani, if the first list [ read here , if you haven’t ] left you high and dry, this one should definitely leave you stoned and soaked in awesomeness. We @ OKS are so committed to bringing you all the desi-awesomeness, that we have gone back and dug out these jurm ke pujari, brashtachari, durachari and those who never say sorry (obligatory Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro reference). Bollywood owes a million and one titles to these villains, coz they are the ones inspiring titles like - Zaalim, Kutte, Kaminey and the like. So, show some respect for ..
*The Next Top 20 Villains of Bollywood*
20. Captain Andrew Russel (Paul Blackthorne) – Film: Lagaan
Achievements and Activities: Daft prick with a “khujlee” for cricket. He’s your stereotypical British Raj dude who oppresses the ‘praja’, torments the ‘Raja‘ and even tries to play daddy with his own sister. Totally underestimates Indian cricket skills and gets answered well..in the face.
Why is he on the list? One of the main purposes of a villain in a Bollywood movie is to torment the good ones, the hero of the movie, and finally make us feel good when the hero defeats him in a ‘up-yours’ kinda climax. Capt. Russel ticks all those boxes and then some more. It’s the best kind of feel-good scene when we see villains lose. And c’mon admit it, you jumped on the couch/chair when you saw him catch the ball, but it was outside the line. Ok, maybe it was just me then!
19. Ghajini Dharmatma (Pradeep Singh Rawat) – Film: Ghajini
Achievements and Activities: He is a cross between Lotiya Pathan and Rama Shetty. Complete nutcase in terms of what he can do in the name of violence. Wears a pathani suit like Lotiya and is a cunning bastard.
Why is he on the list? Remember the scene when he kills Kalpana(Asin) with that sledgehammer. Is that good enough for you? Ok, I’ve got some more reasons. As a North Indian dude, Ghajini Dharmatma has some really bizzare dialogues to keep us entertaining. e.g. Thaari Yaaddaas to Badee Kamjor hai
18. Ajay Sharma (Shahrukh Khan) – Film: Baazigar
Achievements and Activities: College romancer with nerdish charm, Contact lens manipulator, Car racing expert with a twist, Voice vibrator perfectionist. Can make girls – both sisters, fall in love with him. Can swallow whole photographs. And can playback to Kumar Sanu, Anu Malik in the same song, and Vinod Rathod in another.
Why is he on the list? I know people who consider Ajay Sharma as a grey character, rather than completely evil black. But, even if there has been a lot of injustice and atyachaar on him and his Babujee, there is no way to justify his killing of Seema (Shilpa Shetty, before her nose job and eyebrow trimming job). Revenge should always be one-on-one, and should not involve anyone else. C’mon. Villains ke bhi Usool hote hai – Section 26 of the Bollywood Villains Act. Ajay Sharma totally disobeys this law.
17. Jayshree T, Kunika, Kalpana Iyer, Reema Lagoo – Hum Saath Saath Hai
Achievement and Activities: They are the Barjatya- Rajshri films version of Balaji’s Komolika. So they have nothing better to do with their lives than bitch around, poke their dirty noses into other people’s family matters and create unnecessary chaos. And poor Mumta (Reema Lagoo); she is just a dumb ass who is an easy victim to these modern day ‘Mantharas’.
Why are they on the list? Don’t you see it? This is a modern-day Ramayana. Manthara instigates Kaikeyi. Similarly, this trio instigate Mumta, and hence, resulting in the Banvaas of Prabhu Rama – Vivek (Mohnish Behl). It is very easy to fall into the trap of announcing the villain of Ramayana to be Raavan, but don’t you think Manthara, and hence, Kaikeyi are to a large extent, villains of the tale too. Okay, I am clearly offsetting into a different direction altogether. But yeah, this trio make it to the list because of the Manthara parallelism. Also, what a perfect casting – look at their hideous make up to see how awful they look and how their awfulness just multiplies when they are together. And sorry, I couldn’t fit in Reema Lagoo into a single frame alongside the three witches.
16. Rajkumari Suryalekha (Amrita Singh) – Suryavanshi
Achievement and Activities: Pretty much what Maharanis do. She’s like this desi-Cleopatra and she gets what she wants – by hook or by crook. Mostly by crook. Pyar ki pyaasi, Vikram Singh ki daasi.
Why is she on the list? The Mahal, harems and all that! Man, to be a princess meant easy access to everything and a lifetime membership to everything and an unlimited card of Walmart. Imagine a BC (not the desi gaali, but the original abbreviation) version of Paris Hilton meets Lindsay Lohan meets Britney Spears minus the good looks of all of them. Add some shimmery walls and ceilings and reflective golden jewellery. And some spitting lines – you know the kind which can only be heard with an umbrella in front of your face [think Satish Shah in Main Hoon Naa]. e.g. Thhhuuuum mujhe chhhhoddhh ke naahiii jaa saktheeee..And most importantly, her badassery is kinda immortal – it spans across two reincarnations, and continues to haunt Sallu bhai. Anything that does that better than Aishwarya needs to be on this list.