Total Film’s Top 50 Bollywood Films – Seriously, WTF! [Review]

Kajol K3G Whatever Reaction

So apparently Total Film, one of the biggest movie mags of the UK (second only to Empire), did a top 50 list of Bollywood movies. And to my utter surprise, the list seems to be compiled by someone who watched exactly 50 Bollywood movies, which might have appeared on his/her Lovefilm queue. Otherwise, there is no other reason for something like THIS to have ended up in a Best of  list. The dilemma for me is, whether I should be angry at the inclusion of some of the movies which would NEVER appear on any Best of list, or at the exclusion of some of the obvious Bollywood classic, which even Lovefilm would recommend. The dissection continues after the jump, and if you’re wondering why I have included the GIF above, hover your mouse over it to know exactly how I feel about this list. Feel free to join the discussion in the comments.

I have listed my list of problems with this Top 50 list as bulleted points – just for the sake of clarity, and so that I don’t get distracted or get carried away.

1. Exclusion a: RK Films included in this list are – Bobby, Aawara. And for a list that contains KANK, Mohabbatein, this does not have Sangam, Jis Desh Mein Ganga Behti Hai, Jaagte Raho.

2. Exclusion b: Obvious classics such as Guide, Jewel Thief, Chalti Ka Naam Gadhee, Pyaasa, Humraaz, Waqt are snubbed to make room for Fashion

3. Exclusion c: There is no Shammi Kapoor movie here. Neither any Shashi Kapoor movie, nor Dev Anand. Thankfully, there’s Balraj Sahni at no.49.

4. Exclusion d: Senior Bachchan’s movies have had a huge impact on Bollywood cinema, and cinema in general. And the one to enter the top 10 at no 5 is Coolie. There is no sign of Deewar, Zanjeer, Shakti, Satte Pe Satta, Anand or Namak Halal.

5. Inclusion a: 3 Idiots gets to be no.1. As much as I love this movie, it is NOT the best Bollywood movie by any means.  Even Raju Hirani and VVC would agree with me on that. And I cannot help but wonder about the stretch of imagination that this writer had, to include Manmohan Desai’s 80’s flick – Coolie in Top 5. I kid you not – Top 5!!!

6. Inclusion b: The intense SRK, YRF, Dharma fanboism that this list exhibits is almost on an unashamed Bieber-fever level. From Om Shanti Om, Devdas, KHNH, KANK, MNIK, Mohabbatein, Dostana, Rab Ne.. to even Fanna making it into the Top 10 list is a big slapping #facepalm meets #epicfail. Yes, they are all entertaining Bollywood movies, but by no means represent the greatest of Bollywood cinema. Or are we supposed to take this list as a subjective view of the author, who happened to watch movies based upon recommendations by Lovefilm – You watched Om Shanti Om, so you might also like Salaam Namaste. (Yes, that IS in the list as well !!!)

7. Inclusion c: Fashion! Motherfucking Fashion..yes, Madhur Bhandarkar’s cliché fest Fashion completes the Top 10 list. What more is left for me to say?

BIG THANK YOU THOUGH: Having said all of that, I would still appreciate this list for its inclusion of the following movies –

Sholay, Paakezah, Dil Chahta Hai, Mother India, Agneepath, Sarfarosh, Tezaab, Andaz Apna Apna, Peepli Live, Amar Akbar Anthony, Udaan, Bobby, Aawara, Rang De Basanti, Lagaan, Swades, Taare Zameen Par, Kaagaz Ke Phool, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Mughal-E-Azam, Salaam Bombay, Mr.India, Do Beegha Zameen, Munnabhai and Chak De India

The Complete List of Total Film’s 50 Greatest Bollywood Films can be found here.

Kindly share your feelings on this “list” in the comments section below.

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