in Humor

Tweeting the Movie: Aisha (2010)

Disclaimer: The intention of this post is not to mar any person’s dignity or self esteem, dead or alive. Its just a piss take and please take it in the best of the spirits. Please don’t sue me. I am not a rich dude. KTHXBAI!

Ok, I am the occasional chick-flick visitor. I have watched the likes of Notting Hill (who hasn’t), Bridget Jones Diary etc etc. On quite a few occasions, I have managed to even like them. Not because of the underlying romance, but because the characterisation was very well dealt with. Be it the failing travel book store owner or the dumped writer who falls for the Portuguese girl or even the dancing Prime Minister (I know you know all those references). Which now brings me to Aisha, an adaptation of Jane Austen’s Emma (as the publicity press releases say) and unofficially copied from Clueless. I have neither read the book, nor seen the Alicia Silverstone movie. So what I write here, is just judging the movie by its own strengths and flaws.

Well you remember the first of the series – Tweeting the Movie – Veer( Part 1 and Part 2) . So here I am, with Chapter 2 – Aisha. Its always fun to take the piss out of movies which make you realise about the two hours of your life that you’ll never get back. And so here I am, spending more than 2 hours to get this post done.
P.S. The language on this post can get a bit too colourful for your taste, if you know what I mean ;)

Aisha - Sonam Kapoor Hiya @everyone. I am like totally awesome chick.

I like, spend my rich Dad’s hard-earned cash for a living and have nicknamed it ‘Event Management’. How cool! #winwin

And like, I totally dig true love. Its so cute to see MILFs getting hitched with DILFs innit. #AishaIsAwesome Pls RT. kthxbye ;)

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Aisha - Sonam KapoorP.S. I like animals, I pretend to like Polo coz its totally upmarket.

Quick, time for an Elle makeover twitpic.

I’m having a hangover from that party I had last night. Hence the glasses.

Also, I can’t remember which movie I am in right now. Is this ‘I Hate Luv Stories’? #hangover

Also, I so love sobbing whilst I watch that Kajol-SRK dancing in the rain scene from K2H2. That movie is my Bible.

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Hiya @everyone. I am Bose, Pinky Bose.

Together with Aisha, we spread the all mighty shallowness of our lives through our devotion to the Elles, Vogues, Chanels and the likes.

We wear shades in the night (just kidding!).

Oh, I love Aisha so much that I’d get my face cloned like her. #scifiTweet

Together, we form the ‘We love Aisha fanclub’ and spend all day long spending money on all kinda.. ooooh shoes!!!

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Behenji Shefali - Amrita Puri - AishaMyself Shefali from Haryana. I am the Behenji types.

I am like in the big city to find a Dulha for myself, and fall in love, #HayyRabba!!

Doesn’t matter how many times I fool myself falling in ‘love’ with so many men. Oh! I am so confused jee.

Thanks Aisha jee, for making me your project, and transforming me into that…

Here’s my Before and After transform pic. Now watch closely, coz this is going to be more interesting than anything else in this movie.

Amrita Puri - Shefali makeover

Hot Shefali - Aisha Some dude will definitely fall for me, hai naa!

P.S. All this was my evil plan, huaahahaa. All this while, when Aisha and everyone else would be busy dealing with all the superficial problems of their shallow lives, I will actually steal the show. Like totally! #ShefaliFTW

And yes, that last tweet was more than 140 characters. I’m awesome!

I Love Aisha fan club

So, officially, we are the I love Aisha fan club. Any moment now, we’ll start singing – Piya Piya O Piya Piya

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Whilst all of this is happening, the dudes in the movie are suffering from acute deficiency of testosterone.

Abhay Deol - Arjun @Aisha Girl, you need to take life lessons from me. After all, I am Mr.Practical from Wharton and shit.

@AmritaNYReturnGal You did come back due to recession, didn’t you? The black bikini clad sari outfit suits you.

@Aisha You gotta stop trying to fabricate lovey dovey situations aight!

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Aisha - Sonam Kapoor Oi @Arjun, you need to stop giving me these tips. If I needed those, I’d rather go to Baba Ramdev and start doing Kapaal Bharti. Bloody #InvestmentBanker!!

Oh yes, ’bout the last tweet. These non-creative rational beings, they should be totally eradicated from the face of this earth.

And then, this planet will be filled with people – all of whom are dressed in Armani and #Versace branded garments. How pwetty!

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Abhay Deol - Arjun @Aisha Of course, of course , that’s the life innit.

BTW @Aisha, why have you kept your mouth open so widely? Breathing problems?

Also @Aisha, what’s with those heart shaped glasses.

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Aisha - Sonam Kapoor

Arre nahi yaar @Arjun, my eyes are all drained out by the immense amount of work I have put into nuturing my pink teddy bear all night.

And suno @Arjun, my mouth is open, just in case someone gives me some ‘chanda’ for my next new dress. I am bankrupt now you see.

Where’s mah girls?? Bitches!!! Come to me. #ILoveAishaFanClub

@Shefali Tum ye karo @PinkyBose Tum wo karo

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I Love Aisha fan club

Naari ka Samman Karo, Mat Uska Apmaan karo !!!

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Man, what am I supposed to do. @Aisha Is  this our first date?

@AmritaNYReturnGal Is this our first… ummmmmm!!!!

Man, what am I supposed to do. Build some more body??

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Enough!!! Enough of all this shallowness. Even I can’t sink ;) LOL.

Time now to hit on that rich @MithaiwallaDude. I know he totally digs Aisha, but still.Shhh!! #EvilPlan

And I know exactly when to ask him out, right after he comes out of the loo, and when I am like almost shitting myself (literally) with the loo roll in my hand. #Twitpic


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Hot Shefali - Aisha Meanwhile, I’ll keep on stealing the thunder from all these bitches.

I’m gonna first fall for Randhir, oh jee am confused.. And then Dhruv, and then.. Arjun.

Ha! The slag from Haryana, that’s what they’ll call me.

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Aisha - Sonam Kapoor No one steals the thunder of the superbitch, that’s me!!!! Banungi main.. #Bitchwanti ;)
Else, I’ll end up making this meaningless piece of shit into a undigestable vomit.
I know I am using biological terms now.  That means, your best bet is to stay away from me. No seriously, no electricity, no power, no shower. Ugh!
This twitter thing sucks balls. Polo balls.
Now let me make some sense of my existence, and find my lover boy – C’mon Arjun!
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Now this is me saying: I know , I know – I lost a lot of credibility as a funny guy during the course of that post. Now don’t blame me. The source material was a serious let down. There’s neither any sort of juice nor pulp (sweet analogy). That’s because Aisha is about flashing brands, yellow VWs, heart-shaped glasses, late night parties, and nothing else- absolutely nothing. The inside is a vacuum so well cleaned and empty like someone just produced a sterilised Black Hole and cleaned it with Domestos 3 times.  Completely avoidable material. Except for the music. Go watch it, but don’t tell me later that I didn’t warn you.
And if you still think that Sujoy has lost his charm, then please revisit my older charming material: Tweeting the Movie – Veer( Part 1 and Part 2). And I promise, next time, I’ll choose something better – maybe like – ermmm Fashion. Yeah, that’s going to be a good one!!! Until then, Cheerio!!
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11 Comments

  1. Valla!! wah wah !!
    Better than the [duh] movie.
    Enjoying this tweet reviews. keep them comin’

    [Reply]

    Sujoy Reply:

    Thanks bhaijaan. Such a disappointment this. Totally worthless, hopeless, senseless, mindless, faaltu movie

    [Reply]

  2. You have outdone yourself Sujoyji. Kya post thi! Has has ke pet dard ho gaya ji, kasam se ;-D Sweet job, dude :D

    [Reply]

    Sujoy Reply:

    Hehe, really? Thank god..at least someone found this funny. Trust me, this is wayyyy better than the movie :P

    [Reply]

    daisydukes Reply:

    @Sujoy, actually you are too funny! you should start a novel haha. but I hate to admit the movie is good compared to most rip offs I have watched lol ..

    [Reply]