Tweeting the Movie: Review of Veer (sorta) – Part 1

***Veer + Durgati = Veer-Gati ***

When a movie inspires you to create something new, or even pushes you to the limits of inventing a new mashup of two different medium, it certainly is some form of genius in one way or another.  Avatar did it with its 360 degrees of Pandora. And Veer has done the same with its Pindharis. Brute, drunk, sexually fertile and hormonally in their teens, the Pindhari Rajputs are not much different from the Na’vis. Now if you believe in every word I have said so far, go wash your face. To take the name of Cameron’s Avatar and Anil Sharma & Salman’s Veer-Avatar in the same breathe cannot be justified by any stretch of imagination. But yes, I do believe that Veer has inspired me to create something new. And that inspiration has resulted me to amalgamate Twitter into the 1860s revolt by the Pindharis. Basically what we are speaking here is -

How Veer [Salman] under the Chatrachaya of Prithvi [Mithun] got drunk, danced on some tribal Tubthumping music, went to London, got the Dulhania, Pwned Jaggu Dada and Saved the day

When the movie begins with the Disclaimer – All animals have treated properly blah blah!, they completely forgot to mention that the movie could be visually, mentally and emotionally extremely torturous to humans. Moving on, here we go – Tweeting the Movie – Veer.

Salman_TheVeer: @Anil_Gadar_Sharma I been writing. Sholay’s train robbery,romance, London, a Jalwa types drunk dance and a Katrina look-alike. Wht say?

Anil_Gadar_Sharma: @Salman_TheVeer Awesome dude. Is Sohail in 2? He’s mah fav.Reminds me of Rajendranath without glasses.

Salman_TheVeer:@Prabhu_Mithun Dada are you in?  Neena G is playin ur wifey.Promise u get lotsa hugs 4m her

Prabhu_Mithun: @Salman_TheVeer Twitter Daemon auto reply–>Account last active during Luck’s release.

Salman_TheVeer:@Prabhu_Mithun Dada…WTF?

Prabhu_Mithun: @Salman_TheVeer Sorry dude, I get lotsa spam and stuff. Thought u were fake! Yes I’m in. Who’ll be my Bahu?

Salman_TheVeer:@Prabhu_Mithun: A new chick called Fatrina Zarine. Nice ..ahem! She’s ‘fit’ for the role.

Prabhu_Mithun: @Salman_TheVeer Twitpic me her audition pics.

*** FATRINA’s AUDITION PICS***

I am basically a very awesome choice for this role.

My strengths are my Full Fat Double Cream and strictly supervised Oversized diet.

I needed to look the role as there was no VLCC in the 19th century.

My Videsi Bandi Look.

Also, if there was Audience poll for the Best Debut role this year,
this’ll be my Phone Vote Face

I’m like so right for this role. I’ll run you through my other pics.

My smitten look. I am gonna be so smitten by him all throughout the movie.

Did I tell ya that this will also be my Breaking into a Song face.

And if there was an Audience poll, this would be ‘Phone Vote’ face

In case you thought I was too videsi, here I am in an Ekta Kapoor Bahu attire.

See, I can totally play the Royal Vadhu. Attention Manish Malhotra and @kjohar25

***AND MY LAST TWO PICS TO SEAL THE DEAL***

I can also do the make-up less de-glamoured look.

Just in case there is another Period movie

I know people say that I married Pankaj Udhas just to have this look, but I’ll say – We’re just good friends.

And lastly, the politically inspiring, white sari, Gandhi glasses, grey-haired, non-remarrying widow

I know it’s tough not to remarry when even my Saas [Mother in law] enjoys a better sex life.

But what to do, duty calls.

ROLL SOUND, LIGHTS, CAMERA , ACTION!

We Pindharis are Mental. Really. Who negotiates with Jaggu Dada eh?

But then, even though we knew he’d ditch us, the chance to cut his arm off is so BADASS!!

But dude, our Pindhari Bros are totally pwned by Madhavgarh.

And although we are Rajputs, I speak in “Behen-De-Takke” Punjabi.

We gotta start multiplying to compensate for our lost population.

And so…

I’m here just to speak 2 lines.

And then I’ll be invited to that Reality show as a guest judge.

Dadde!!!!!

Dadde is a bit busy Beta Veer. hic!

Enough. I’m gonna grow up so fast after that crappy Spartan training.

I have everything in place. Horses, Black Turbans and Eyeliners.

Will be soon dancing in Orange Jeans and fur-jackets. Woot Woot.
Man I am so awesome to be contained in a single post, I’ll need to continue in another one.

You heard the MAN. We’ll be back soon with the Second Part. Until then, shout it out in the comments. Peace. Out!

..contd: Veer -Review -Part 2.